ERECTIONS AND WET SPOTS.
Or how to combat erectile dis-function with high office position
Like many others here in Australia we were all sitting on the edge of our seats with white knuckles waiting for the entrenched Liberal (Liberal as in abusing the little guy, not Liberal as in freedom of expression) government to be unseated.
The Liberals have been entrenched as the governing party for years.
Something like 29 terms. There are generations of old people who remember Sir Donald Caruthers-Smithe as the last Labour leader holding office circa 1803. For this reason, the news of Liberals losing the erection was welcome with whooping and cheering in all the households with TV screens smaller than a small tennis court and property values below 5 million dollars. Naturally I exaggerate somewhat as it behooves my flowery style. There are some people who truly believe that Liberals have the right vision for Australia.
Though given that Liberal ex-leader Mr.Howard and and his anointed successor Costello (the man, not the cheese, easy mistake to make, both are on the nose) meteoric departure from power is an emphatic statement that the vision has proven to be a hallucination. Nay, not a hallucination, more of a drug induced, wet bedsheets, turning and tossing, half asleep nightmare.
Like many others we all expected Howard to pull a 20 feet radio dish out of his sphincter and snatch the election from the grasp of the defeat.
The entire liberal campaign was like watching a train wreck in slow motion.
In hindsight, I think it was lost when Howard announced on TV that he will resign if he is elected.
One more indication that Howard was removed from the real world not ever having a proper job in his life. The three principles of securing employment being:
1) Your employer expecting you to know how to do the job
2) You Staying in the job
3) Not making waves
The liberal campaign boiled down to these points.
a) Keep the old team in because its too dangerous to let people with no experience into government.
b) Don't mention the War!
c) Don't mention the climate change.
d) Booga booga Unions booga booga Unions Scary big teeth will eat you up booga booga!
e) Throwing large amounts of bribes at demographics identified by pollsters as likely to still vote liberals (Oldies - because they are too fogey to think clearly and wasnt Menzies Liberal?, and middle class families - maybe the'll forgive us for Workchoices and interest rates if we give them money now)
The 20 foot dish never emerged to everyones surprise. Another indication that great men lose not because they made mistakes but because they keep doing things the way it always worked. John Howard, the man who started his career as "Lazarus with Triple Bypass" clearly run out of medical procedures to keep his artifically animated ideological cadaver alive. Like the Mary Shelly's monster, its stumbled and staggered through the rapidly drying hot landscape groaning 'Eko-no-mee' squashing the peasants under its feet. Little wonder that the peasants rebelled and the pike and torches bearing crowd unseated the monster bereft of ideas.
When the monster was born, environmentalists were routinely and laughingly called 'tree hugging hippies' and 'ferals' and Unions still held some power in the workplace, resented by many. Howard, for all his political astuteness probably wondered why his great ideas failed. Ultimately, the reason for his unseating is that like many old men, he failed to adapt. He lived in a world that was only true in his head and sadly for him, the hordes of the sycophants surrounding him had no balls to point out to the emperor that he is wearing no clothes.
A few noteworthy episodes of the elections:
Poll rigging.
A few days before the elections, media polls predicted a 'close election'.
Ex-Labour numbers man Graham Richardson is on the record in saying that it will be a Labour landslide by 20 seats. So, unless Richardson uses the black arts of magic or the well resourced media is incompetent the media was trying to sway the outcome (one way or the other).
Who owns the government?
Through the pre-erection foreplay the media was flooded with negative advertising (paid by you and me) from the Liberal party that most of the Labour candidates had Trade Union background. Emphatically absent from the Labour advertising were the counter commercials stating that most of the Liberal candidates were either Lawyers, Corporate lackeys, Upper class prats or any combination of the three.
The absence can be explained by the choice of Labour not to run negative campaigning but also it is not a surprise prediction that Kevin Rudd will be on his knees in front of our blessed corporate masters with his lips firmly sealed around the life giving knob of the 'economic pump' as soon as he changes the curtains and the toilet seat in Kirribilli house.
Curious Absence of Mr.Wulf from the ballot paper
The absence of Mr.Wulfs wildly popular 'Dont just keep the bastards honest, hang and quarter them, you will be the first up against the wall when the revolution comes, yes you, Im talking to you you fucking noobcake!' party from the ballot paper is another evidence of how the industrio-military complex has subverted the so called free elections.
Chinese rigged the elections
Something for my Liberal voting friends (I know who you are!) to let you sleep better at night. Liberals lost the election not because of wildly incompetent, stale and arrogant style of Mr.Howard but because of the Red Chinese Conspiracy. The CIA is on the record of overthrowing governments when it suited the US Interests Why would the Chinese, a government with uh... about 2000 year start on everyone else in the field of diplomacy sit idly on their hands when they meet Kev who then proceeds to conduct the ENTIRE MEETING in Mandarin Chinese. Clearly, Kev is their man over the stodgy fuddy daddy who never held an honest job in his life, much less drunk and partied wildly with his chinese mates in a diplomatic posting in Bejing (or Bee-eee-jii-n-g as it is pronounced now).
And on the note of CIA influencing our government... Given that CIA has its hands full in other areas of the world. Notably trying to screw the Europeans and Chinese much less the profitable adventures in Asia the Australian desk is presently staffed by Bob 'One eye' who is just waiting for retirement and Sal the tea lady who is using one of the empty desks. No other explanation is possible allowing their last ally to depart thus making the 'coalition of the willing' a running joke since 3/4 of Americans don't want to be in Iraq either.
However, it was notable that Dr.Brendan Nelson has become an unlikely leader of the Liberals in opposition. A man who has ingratiated himself to the US Military complex by pissing away 7 billion dollars on useless aircraft against all the advice he was getting, in the process making Australia as capable of defending its airspace as the Republic of Upper Volta and Uganda.
I am hopeful though, he has shown himself to be an arrogant prat, calling all Australians dickheads in his first speech. On the topic of withdrawal from Iraq he said "governments do what is popular but sometimes you need to do what is right.".
Thus perpetuating the long overthrown myth that Iraq was a moral and right thing to do.
GG Brendan! Way to show that Liberals still don't get it, even under the new... uh...for the lack of better word...leadership.
Like many others here in Australia we were all sitting on the edge of our seats with white knuckles waiting for the entrenched Liberal (Liberal as in abusing the little guy, not Liberal as in freedom of expression) government to be unseated.
The Liberals have been entrenched as the governing party for years.
Something like 29 terms. There are generations of old people who remember Sir Donald Caruthers-Smithe as the last Labour leader holding office circa 1803. For this reason, the news of Liberals losing the erection was welcome with whooping and cheering in all the households with TV screens smaller than a small tennis court and property values below 5 million dollars. Naturally I exaggerate somewhat as it behooves my flowery style. There are some people who truly believe that Liberals have the right vision for Australia.
Though given that Liberal ex-leader Mr.Howard and and his anointed successor Costello (the man, not the cheese, easy mistake to make, both are on the nose) meteoric departure from power is an emphatic statement that the vision has proven to be a hallucination. Nay, not a hallucination, more of a drug induced, wet bedsheets, turning and tossing, half asleep nightmare.
Like many others we all expected Howard to pull a 20 feet radio dish out of his sphincter and snatch the election from the grasp of the defeat.
The entire liberal campaign was like watching a train wreck in slow motion.
In hindsight, I think it was lost when Howard announced on TV that he will resign if he is elected.
One more indication that Howard was removed from the real world not ever having a proper job in his life. The three principles of securing employment being:
1) Your employer expecting you to know how to do the job
2) You Staying in the job
3) Not making waves
The liberal campaign boiled down to these points.
a) Keep the old team in because its too dangerous to let people with no experience into government.
b) Don't mention the War!
c) Don't mention the climate change.
d) Booga booga Unions booga booga Unions Scary big teeth will eat you up booga booga!
e) Throwing large amounts of bribes at demographics identified by pollsters as likely to still vote liberals (Oldies - because they are too fogey to think clearly and wasnt Menzies Liberal?, and middle class families - maybe the'll forgive us for Workchoices and interest rates if we give them money now)
The 20 foot dish never emerged to everyones surprise. Another indication that great men lose not because they made mistakes but because they keep doing things the way it always worked. John Howard, the man who started his career as "Lazarus with Triple Bypass" clearly run out of medical procedures to keep his artifically animated ideological cadaver alive. Like the Mary Shelly's monster, its stumbled and staggered through the rapidly drying hot landscape groaning 'Eko-no-mee' squashing the peasants under its feet. Little wonder that the peasants rebelled and the pike and torches bearing crowd unseated the monster bereft of ideas.
When the monster was born, environmentalists were routinely and laughingly called 'tree hugging hippies' and 'ferals' and Unions still held some power in the workplace, resented by many. Howard, for all his political astuteness probably wondered why his great ideas failed. Ultimately, the reason for his unseating is that like many old men, he failed to adapt. He lived in a world that was only true in his head and sadly for him, the hordes of the sycophants surrounding him had no balls to point out to the emperor that he is wearing no clothes.
A few noteworthy episodes of the elections:
Poll rigging.
A few days before the elections, media polls predicted a 'close election'.
Ex-Labour numbers man Graham Richardson is on the record in saying that it will be a Labour landslide by 20 seats. So, unless Richardson uses the black arts of magic or the well resourced media is incompetent the media was trying to sway the outcome (one way or the other).
Who owns the government?
Through the pre-erection foreplay the media was flooded with negative advertising (paid by you and me) from the Liberal party that most of the Labour candidates had Trade Union background. Emphatically absent from the Labour advertising were the counter commercials stating that most of the Liberal candidates were either Lawyers, Corporate lackeys, Upper class prats or any combination of the three.
The absence can be explained by the choice of Labour not to run negative campaigning but also it is not a surprise prediction that Kevin Rudd will be on his knees in front of our blessed corporate masters with his lips firmly sealed around the life giving knob of the 'economic pump' as soon as he changes the curtains and the toilet seat in Kirribilli house.
Curious Absence of Mr.Wulf from the ballot paper
The absence of Mr.Wulfs wildly popular 'Dont just keep the bastards honest, hang and quarter them, you will be the first up against the wall when the revolution comes, yes you, Im talking to you you fucking noobcake!' party from the ballot paper is another evidence of how the industrio-military complex has subverted the so called free elections.
Chinese rigged the elections
Something for my Liberal voting friends (I know who you are!) to let you sleep better at night. Liberals lost the election not because of wildly incompetent, stale and arrogant style of Mr.Howard but because of the Red Chinese Conspiracy. The CIA is on the record of overthrowing governments when it suited the US Interests Why would the Chinese, a government with uh... about 2000 year start on everyone else in the field of diplomacy sit idly on their hands when they meet Kev who then proceeds to conduct the ENTIRE MEETING in Mandarin Chinese. Clearly, Kev is their man over the stodgy fuddy daddy who never held an honest job in his life, much less drunk and partied wildly with his chinese mates in a diplomatic posting in Bejing (or Bee-eee-jii-n-g as it is pronounced now).
And on the note of CIA influencing our government... Given that CIA has its hands full in other areas of the world. Notably trying to screw the Europeans and Chinese much less the profitable adventures in Asia the Australian desk is presently staffed by Bob 'One eye' who is just waiting for retirement and Sal the tea lady who is using one of the empty desks. No other explanation is possible allowing their last ally to depart thus making the 'coalition of the willing' a running joke since 3/4 of Americans don't want to be in Iraq either.
However, it was notable that Dr.Brendan Nelson has become an unlikely leader of the Liberals in opposition. A man who has ingratiated himself to the US Military complex by pissing away 7 billion dollars on useless aircraft against all the advice he was getting, in the process making Australia as capable of defending its airspace as the Republic of Upper Volta and Uganda.
I am hopeful though, he has shown himself to be an arrogant prat, calling all Australians dickheads in his first speech. On the topic of withdrawal from Iraq he said "governments do what is popular but sometimes you need to do what is right.".
Thus perpetuating the long overthrown myth that Iraq was a moral and right thing to do.
GG Brendan! Way to show that Liberals still don't get it, even under the new... uh...for the lack of better word...leadership.
posted by Wulfy | 1:38 PM
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