Wulf's Pawprints

GOD

2009-11-25T14:13:00.000-08:00

Category: Shoulders of giants

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.

Is he able but not willing? Then he is malevolent.

Is he both able and, willing? Then whence cometh evil?

Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God.

* Epicurus (341BCE - 270BCE)

The Quote reminds me a little of Nitche's statement "God is dead".
To which God is reputed to say; "Niche is dead". Only, Epicurus has been dead for thousands of years, and the annoying prick's word still resonate down the ages.
New theory: Global warming is God's way of wiping out Epicurus's legacy.

PANDEMIC IN UKRAINE

2009-11-01T14:52:00.000-08:00

Category: Holy Crap Mr.Wulf updates his blog!

A major breakout of epidemic proportions has hit Ukraine. As of 2nd of November. With the exception of a small, light article in The New York Times the western media is giving this story ABSOLUTELY NO COVERAGE.

However Russians, Poles, Slovaks are all taking this seriously.

Here is a translated article from Pravda.

1500 dead, 80000 infected. The country is shut down with all public events canceled and the Ukrainian President making an appeal to the nation.

Apparently, the lungs of the victims 'melt' and fill with blood.
It sounds like the initial reports say that it is either Pneumonic Plague or worse some nasty interaction of N1H1 (Swine flu) with Pneumonic Plague.

Best advice at this time is to stay informed. Eat your vitamins D,C,E and avoid public places.

What is really concerning and to me, giving massive credibility is the fact that the Western media is TOTALLY silent about this. I would expect over this week as the independent media leaks into the Consensus reality we will start hearing about it.

I will be updating this post with news and references as I find out more

* Ukrainian TV news (make sure English captions are enabled). State of emergency declared. 11 of the 53 deaths had Swine Flu so the Virus that kills is NOT just Swine Flu.

* English Independent News Video

* Virus melts lungs with temperature of 55 degrees (Translation from russian)

* Hungarian official epidemic advisory, rates Ukraine breakout damage as 'large'

* Finally, MSM report Financial Times of London, in the best tradition of 'responsible reporting' the report is positively benign.
Also they still report it as H1N1 and not Pneumonic Plague.

* Another translation from a foreign news site.

HISTORY OF ISRAELI PALESTINIAN CONFLICT EXPLAINED

2009-01-08T01:54:00.000-08:00

CATEGORY: Gift from Dog

A lot of people seem confused by the history of the Israeli/Palestinian conflict and what are its roots, especially the younger population.
To explain it properly takes around 1000 pages, here is an explanation in 3 panels.
Bonus points, using lolcat/intertoobes language so that the young ones can understand.

A STUDY IN DECEPTION - ONCE WERE FREE MEDIA

2009-01-02T18:47:00.000-08:00

Category: Manufacturing consent

Widely reported in the media, one of the leaders of Hamas, a terrorist organisation has recently been killed in the Israeli Gaza operation. The following photographs show the same event from various points of view. Goebbels, one of the fathers of current mass media/perception management said once 'It is an absolute right of the state to supervise the formation of the public opinion'.

There is a saying, 'Those who love sausage, ought not to investigate how it is made.'. Paraphrasing, 'Those who believe in public opinion, ought not to investigate how it is made.'.

We start off with the generic stock photos, one from a video and one clearly a stock AFP photo. Very 'neutral' and 'objective' they show the man for who he clearly was. A passionate believer in his cause, an enemy of our western civilisation.
The Australian (Muroch) media captions the stock photo in quite a disgraceful way. Suprisingly inept and blunt it quotes "killed in '...his Gaza strip"Stronghold'. Naturally, we know that there are only evildoers in 'Strongholds'.

It is a well established fact that we, the peaceful people of the west live in 'Villages' and 'Houses'. The wild fantical evildoers live in 'Enemy compounds' and 'Strongholds'.
The usually more balanced BBC, has very little in reportage photos, in part because Israel is preventing western reporters entry into Gaza. The same photo at BBC has a very neutral caption.

The Jerusalem Post coverage of the same event similarly has a cookie cutter photo of a man clearly not of western persuasion. Beard and headcover befitting a barbarian.

Notably there is another photo underneath, of Israeli sappers dismantling a Palestinian missile ('You see, this is why we killed him').

CNN who is widely considered by many conservative USIANs to be a 'liberal' news source has the War Porn images of 'surgical strikes' where a column of smoke wafts from a distance. Clinical and precise, the democracy is once again defended.

When not obsessed by War Porn the US 'free media' coverage zooms in to show the actual target. The image is very tightly cropped so that we can not see the aftermath. Emergency workers (who NB in the US are just another arm of the security apparatus) are shown heroically fighting the smoke of the undefined target.

Then we get to the really outregously unacceptable media coverage.
The Belfast Telegraph shows sympathy for the brown skinned people unbefitting an objective representative of western free media. The terrorist stronghold can actually be identified as remnants of a residence in a residential neighbourhood.

Note the degree of damage the 'precision dropped' 1 ton (2000 pound) munition has caused to the house (leveled it) and the surrounding houses (blasted by the powerful explosion).

Two of the four Rayan childred killed in the same bombing that killed their father. This is what the Palestinians see daily.
This is what we, in the west will not see in our 'free' mass media.
(Source: on page 2)

The above sequence of reportage clearly demonstrates why we, in the west, believe it is perfectly fine to kill the brown skinned people. We are asked to believe one biased version and sold it as 'balanced' and the other as 'extremist'.

In closing, this is what our acting Prime Minister Julia Gillard said about the events documented above:
"While recognising Israel’s right to defend itself from such indiscriminate attacks, the Australian Government supports the United Nations Security Council’s call for an immediate halt to all violence.

The Australian Government also urges Israel, Hamas and other militant groups to make every effort to avoid causing further suffering to innocent civilians."

ISRAELIS ARE MORE GENEROUS THAN PALESTINIANS

2008-12-29T02:23:00.000-08:00

Category: Gift from Dog

Contrary to all the anti-Semites out there protesting the alleged 'disproportionate use of power' against the Palestinians, I decided to put a positive spin on the latest defensive action by the Israelis.

MONKEY ON THE HORN

2008-12-16T04:25:00.000-08:00

Cathedergory: Looking for work in all the wrong places

[Joyful dance tune wakes up some of my cow-orkers]

MONKEY: O'Hai Mr.Fierce, you have recently applied for the role of a Nuclear Scientist with us, is it ok to talk?

ME: Hai, one sec, let me wonder into the broom cupboard so I don't wake the retiries and retards here, they get angry and grimace at me if I wake them up from their 'before the go home time' nap (Working in Public Service atm)

MONKEY: I'm just going to pre-screen you for this role.

ME: Really? You? You barely sound out of your teens, maybe we should talk about who that bloke from 'Entourage' is dating, or what shampoo brand I'm using. No seriously, how the fuck you would be qualified? Oh thats right, 'Behavioural Interview Techniques'... ok do your worst.

MONKEY: So did you do Nuclear Scienticism before?

ME: Er... No, actually, you got me there, Its my hobby, applying for jobs I have no clue about, ruining my professional reputation and then trying to find a job in this shoe-box town. No wait, I'm just kidding.
Of course I did the fucking Nuclear Scienticism before, wait, by nuclear Scienticism do you mean what most people mean when they ask this question, the "Nookular Saintifism" or the actuall honest to god, there is only 3 blokes in this godforsaken hole of a provincial, arse end of planet pit town that would even be remotely able to count the quarks if Nuclear Science sat on your face and wiggled enthusiastically.

MONKEY: It's the other one...

ME: Ok, lucky for you have some notes there. You have absolutely no clue what the sounds coming out of your mouth mean. Do you?

MONKEY: I need to know how you actually have done Nuclear Science before.

ME: ...

ME: You want me to tell you how I did Nuclear Science?

MONKEY: Yes. Tell me, from the beginning.

ME: Ok... you know how the Ancient Greeks thought the world was composed of small indivisible particles called atoms? They were wrong, they are actually divisible, some of them iteratively into smaller and smaller particles, each having wacky properties. Presently we believe that the smallest parts are superstrings which have the interesting property of wafting in and out of our universe, cool eh? In fact, most are not particles as such, more like fields of probability but lets not split Higgs bosons [CHUCKLE CHUCKLE]...

MONKEY: On to the next question...

ME: Wait... I just started....[summarising 10 years of work into one sentence with the dreadful realisation that it does not matter an iota] ...AND THATS HOW I DEVELOPED A SELF SUSTAINING FUSION REACTION WITH JUST SOME MOUTHWASH AND MATCHES!

MONKEY: So... have you done any coal oven cleaning?

ME: But did not you say, 'Nuclear Science' before?

MONKEY: Coal oven cleaning.

ME: Sure, Ive cleaned fusion piles reducing the risk of radioactive contaminants entering the biosphere... organising transportation convoys to storage and disposal facilities (a.k.a. A third world country). Yeah sure, I CAN clean a mere coal oven... Fuck, if it's going to stave off starvation and keep the roof over my head, I WAS FUCKING BORN TO CLEAN OVENS! LOVE THEM THE BLACK FUCKERS! I ONCE MADE LOVE TO A COAL FUCKING OVEN TILL MY DICK TURNED PURPLE!!!! FUCK LOVE THE BITCHES! YEAH!
But I thought you said it was a Nuclear Science Jo...

MONKEY: Ok, thank you, we may contact you if you need more information.

ME: Oh God, NOW I remember, you're the firm I couldn't figure out before why of all the recruiter firms in town never gave me an interview. You employ all the cute, dumb ones in your Admin team, don't you? Hullo? Hullo?

Ah, well, fuck them, when my contract expires and I can't find another Nuclear Scientist position, I'm going to sell my body on the streets again.
Good pay, but my arse hurt all the time.

Five dolla sailor? Sukie Sukie?

Lol, I'm just kidding. I'll do what I did before I found my current scam.
Black market freelance organ transplant harvesting. Igor says he misses, me.
Apparently no one can supply healthy kidneys as quickly as I can.
That or I'll go into Politics... Nah... I do have SOME self respect.

P.S. Human resource recruiters will be the first against the wall when the revolution comes. Mark my words.

NEW EPHEMERAL CD ALBUM!

2008-10-21T04:01:00.000-07:00

Category: Random brain fart

A new(old) meme that I have recently encountered resulted in this new Album, "Before he became Robin" by S.Y.Glazyev.

How this came to be?
1) Go to wikipedia.org and choose a random article, thats your 'group' name.
2) Select a random page and pick the last four words from the page for a title.
3) Go to flickr.com and select the third image from 'Explore, Last 7 days'.

Random pieces thrown randomly for a meaningless CD cover thats never was and never will be but for a random intersect flickering into a brief existence.
[PoP]

More albums here.

POVERTY OF A SOUND MIND.

2008-10-15T04:21:00.000-07:00

Category: Since when idiots are a special needs group?

I wanted to call this post 'We are thirsty and Obama is the sand we drink!', since this is exactly the kind of 'Huh?' statement I have heard today, watching my favourite news show; 'The Daily Show with John Stewart'.
An altogether hilarious case of how royally fornicated-up todays 'mass media' has become when the my favourite comedy channel is the 'Fox News' and a comedy show, one of Americas most trusted news sources.
A epithet deserving lass in the McCain 'town hall' meeting mutual masturbation self help group (televised) said; 'We are thirsty and we all have to drink the sand that is Obama'. Apparently not as idiotic as it at first appears to be, though bastardised the enthusiastic moron brought into sharp focus something that has been weighing on what passes for my mind these days.

Since when are retards considered worthy of equal vote?
Apologies to those unfortunate souls who no fault of their own, the kink in the wrist of the deity rolling the dice have gotten the short end of the stick and gotten poked in the eye with its burnt end in the process. Sorry, I am truly sorry.
No, I mean the retards that chose to be dumb.

The cretins who laugh at the 'nerd' girl with glasses in school - who then proceeds to save their life as a medical health worker.

The imbeciles who chant USA USA USA (or insert another disposable mental mind drone device) as their armies destroy innocent lives in the pursuit of power and then act surprised when some shepherd who previously thought USA is the epicenter of cool blows himself up because his son was turned into sushi.

The dumbshits who accept everything they are told, unquestioningly, with no crosschecking of sources of facts and then free fall off the edge of economic cliff with all the other genetic test tube sheeple-lemmings mutants.

These were the people who the tribe left behind when the hunting got lean.
These were the people who got eaten by the saber toothed tiger.
These were the people who the Spartans used to throw off the cliff.
Christ almighty, show some compassion and before you know it, you are up to your armpits in hairless monkeys who instead of shit, fling mental farts at you!

You do more research choosing a expletive mobile expletive contract than you do choosing a president. Wait no! Its not like that at all!
You did your research you say!
The guy who is about to win the election, McCain is the right candidate.
No matter that he's an crap fighter jock with poor impulse control.
No matter that he's been mindfucked by an evil enemy in a war prison camp for 3 years.
No matter that he finished at the bottom of his class by his own words.
No matter that he's a lying prick
No matter that he cant use a computer (hello? 21st century?)

If this applicant was shooting for the all important job of uh... say an office clerk, he'd never make it to the interview.
Buy hey, its only the most important job in the world. Thats different!

It matters not.
Because he's white, retarded just like us and god darn gosh! He's certainly better than that Osama Hussain arab communist terrorist!

Only in a retard nation is this a 'Breaking News'

Speaking of retarded nation, Sarah Palin!
According to the actuariar tables there is a 1 in 3 chance that our new President to be, John McCain, a cancer survivor may not make it through his full term of presidency.

This means a woman with an IQ of 83 and who is already on the record saying that 'We may need to go to war with Russia' will have access to the nuclear launch codes.

Please, please how it is possible, that after 8 years of presidency by a man whose performance can most generously be assessed as fucking dismal, what with the global financial crisis and a lost war in Afghanistan and a lost war on terror. How can Americans elect a person that is most likely even more likely to cause an even greater disaster?

There is only one answer; Stupid, Stupid, Stupid people.
Yes, you have a right to an opinion, but if its a stupid opinion, I have a right to call you a fucking retard.

So lets set the bar so high that we can not fail!

Stupid, mean, selfish, greedy, scared little people... who are easily manipulated by smart rich people.

I have enormous respect for the US, though I have to admit I have been gravely disappointed over the last 8 years as the simians have been running the asylum.
If this hallucination team wins, as I expect, its time for a final solution, start gassing the stupid people or maybe open one gigantic big mall with no shops where they will all starve.

Or maybe, the simplest solution would be what is about to transpire.
Select two 'ordinary folk' and give them the nuclear launch codes.
KKTHXBAI!

MCCAIN WINS THE ERECTION PT.2

2008-08-15T01:23:00.000-07:00

It is now with some confidence that I can state that the election is going to be won by a 'narrow margin' by McCain. What makes me utter such an outrageuos statement?
There are 4 signs.

1. Obama wants to take from the very rich.

Basically, Obama is saying to the rich, Vote for me so I can take 50% of your income to pay for un-necessary things like healthcare, education and waste it on bridge maintenance.

It is the rich who have the 'jaw dropping arrogance' to choose not to comprehend the plight of they who are born without a silver credit card in their mouth. It is those same rich who happen to 'hang' with the decision makers. 'Maaate, this Obama bloke... he wants to rip me for cool mil. See that you mention in your faux-news memo that he tortures small baby jesuses or something. KK?'
Where the poor in the meanwhile do not even get a chance to make their minds up on the election issues. On the account of being too busy trying to put food in their mouth. Much less 'hang' with those who control the media.

To paraphrase, Obama is going to lose because he just promised the rich and powerful that they will be worse off under his regime.
Not surprisingly, the rich are paying McCain 10 times more to secure the victory of 'their man in Washington'.

2.Caging is in full swing.

Whats 'Caging' you may ask?
Basically, it is the means by which Darth Rowe will ensure that those who vote for Obama will have their votes taken from them.
Particularly perfidious is the mechanism.
Basically, you send a registered letter, clearly marked 'Do not forward' to an address 30 days before the election. Then, if the person does not reply. You dispute the vote as 'invalid' on the grounds that that person does not live under the voteroll address anymore.

Who moves the most? The poor and the young. Obama/Democrat voters.
From the party that claims to support the Army this is particularly hollow as they send the notices to Army Bases, knowing full well the troops are stationed overseas, fighting the wars started by these same chicken-hawks.
Interestingly, Obama has generated six fold greater support than Bush Mk.iii in the armed forces.
[Edit: Here is a good article explaining whats going to happen]

3.He's black.

Sadly, like Australia, the US is a country where Blacks are still treated as second class citizens.

Yes, yes... you are an exception. Some of your best friends are black. Actually, they are kinda remote acquintices. But would you let your daughter marry one?

There are a couple of explanations why Obama, a progressive leader with erudition and vision actually is on par with underperforming McCain who is a carbon copy (albeit somewhat more coherent) of Bush, according to the polls.
a) The old media favours McCain (likely)
b) Obama is black (very likely)
c) All of the above.

Is America ready for a Black President?
Clearly, since the last one was mentally deficient one (if he is to be judged by his extraordinarily spectacular destruction of the United States).

4. Georgia distraction.

The goading of Georgia by the US to foolishly invade Russian Protectorate of South-Ossetia at such a crucial time in the elections is a clear indication that the current regime will do anything in its power to perpetuate the Neo-Con grasp on the throat of the emanciated Lady Liberty in the US.

What is very telling and is a sad indictment of how low the US has sunk in its diplomacy and wisdom is that the McCain rants of a war crazed fanatic, shaking his fist and foaming from his bared fangs is considered (by the old media anyway) to be a 'Foreign affairs experience', whilst the more rational and humane approach by Obama to sort things out like civilised people is considered to be 'weak'.

For fucks sake, you have teh nukes and the most powerful army on the fucking planet.
The US of all people has the most leaway to engage in diplomacy.

Unless of course Eisenhowers warning about the industiral military complex has not been heeded and the US is in the iron grip of neo-con warmachine that benefits from war and human misery.
But then... Eisenhower was a pinko, commie, US and Freedom hating American president.

To hedge my bets a little, there is a small chance Obama will win, in the unlikely event the lords high up on the castle have decided that we have had enough of the war mongers. So far though, I am saddened by the steaming locomotive of McCain inevitable victory and the complicity of the old media.

McCAIN WINS THE ERECTION!

2008-05-26T21:42:00.000-07:00

Engineering the truth

'The West has the best democracy money can buy', that assertion can hardly be disputed with a straight face. The elections in the US impact on us all and therefore are of great interest to all people of earth.

The fireworks and circus that surround the ongoing battle between Clinton and Obama are keeping everyone's attention focused away from what is important.
For the record, whilst I have started out backing Clinton because I believe that a woman who rises up to greatness is weighted and measured above and beyond of what a man in her position would be. To put it in other words, for a woman to break the glass ceiling she must strap on rocket boosters to reach for the sky.
As the campaign progressed, I am leaning towards Osama.
Mainly because it would be nice for a change to have an erudite leader of the free world.
If speech is a trait unique human and it is what makes us work well as a group, Obama would inspire us all to greatness.
I am weary of his grevious sins such as not wearing the US flag in the lapel and having a Pastor who believes that the white establishment is rogering the blacks hard. However I am willing to forgive him those plainly disqualifying holes in his otherwise apparently stellar character.
There are ways the desperate wide-eyed Clinton still can still win the nomination but the most probable involve time travel or assassination of Obama.

Sadly, the election that so many anticipate as a liberation of the entire world from the yoke of tyranny and darkness has already been lost.
Bush Mk.III, McCain, he of volatile temper has already been elected the president of United States.
As much as I find it distasteful to quote the man, it was Stalin who is alleged to have said, "Those who cast votes decide nothing, those who count votes decide everything."

This video [15min well worth downloading] of a researcher and a Journalist investigating Karl Rove's accidental release of 500 e-mail messages to GeorgeBush.com (rightwing spankfest) to GeorgeBush.org (a leftwing spankfest) will open your eyes on how the election has been stolen. To summarise:

In the last election 2004, over 3,000,000 votes were declared spoiled, largely by the Republicans.
In some states, Bush margin was as little as 5000 votes with 30,000 votes declared spoiled.
Spoiled votes are largely minorities and likely to vote democrat. A black is 900% more likely to have his vote declared spoiled than a white, a latino 500% and American Indian 2000%. Clearly these are not well off people likely to vote for the GOP.
Many soldiers are denied the right to vote on the grounds that too many live at one address (military base).

Combine this frightening disclosure with the fact that many US states now use black box electronic voting machines that are open to remote tempering. An ATM and a One armed bandit has more controls than a voting machine though the prize is much, much greater.

There is only one conclusion to be drawn as many have asserted that the US as a world power has stopped being a democracy a while ago and has instead gotten very good at management perception of the people.

My prediction for 2008 is McCain 'by a narrow margin', 4 more years of Bushism.

EMERGENCE

2008-05-18T06:43:00.000-07:00

Fixion

Thrown forward into the webbing once again.
This time I hung in the restraints for a few seconds longer. The forward console became down all off the sudden, rushing towards me again to try to merge with me in a firm and final embrace of plasteel and flesh.
The green hue of the chronox implant in my retina was counting down, tiny green worm digits slithering inside my eye, unwinding to zero. Soon, very soon...my breakfast tried to leave my stomach again with another jolt of the deaccelerators. Well, physics of interdemonsional travel are beyond me. I just buy the gear and press the buttons. This current chariot, vehicle of adventure and discovery, a boon to all travellers seeking excitement and glory, the Isospititus KI2, fresh off the lot. The price was only 20 souls, how could I resist?
Bargain, practically free what with all the mischief in the multiverse, souls were a dime a dozen.

There was a loud scream behind me, angels and demons sang together in a cacophonic chorus and a large lithometalic column of machinery flew past my restraint couch missing my skull by milets. I twisted my spine uncomfortably trying to grow eyes on the back of my neck. There was a huge gaping hole where the unit detached in the bulkhead behind me. The de-acceleration jolts were coming together more frequently, massive thrusts as if the craft was a speeding wagon entering patches of thick gooey sponge at high speed. Welcome to Multiverse Aleph-Theoth-21... thats what the console indicated. At least there was stuff here... I rubbed the bruise on my palm. The last emergence was in the precise middle of absolutely nothing. As soon as the dark sense of dread of absolute nothingness crept at the periphery of my awareness, I hit the jump button. A tad too hard, it still hurt... I was a bit rattled by that.
Maybe I should have mapped the jump with greater care, but I just wanted to get out of there... Aleph-Thoth-21 it is, friendly place.
It was embracing me with the desire and strength of a 200 pound psycho-girlfriend.
'I will never let you go baby!', Cruch... I could swear I cracked a rib against the webbing. Somewhere deep inside the craft there was a sound as if a herd of bulls tiptoed rather unsuccessfully though a China and Nitroglicerine emporium.
Suddenlty the air scrubbers begun whining at full speed and the air of the capsule filled with smokey haze.
Not that I particularly cared since at the exact time another jolt came and I was flung towards the homicidal console again. My arms and legs arcing together like a ragdoll. There was bruising, no doubt at all I thought as I finally liberated the breakfast in a slow languid arc of zero gee. I watched as the gravity claimed it in the next break cycle and the vomit turned from a peacock coloured cloud to a rainbow blur raining on the console. Naturally, with the fortitude that has marked my soujourn since the start, the splatter hit the exact middle of the main viewer screen.
Before the screen was obscured by my half digested toast, I saw long streaks of superluminal star streaks coalesing into solid spheres. This one at least was not empty. I shuddered once again at the mercifully brief scar of the last experience.
I should be needing some deep exorcism to drive out those evils eating my mind.

The last jolt was the strongest, the craft entered the newtonian space and as the multiple dimensions wilted off the skin of the ship, like flaking petals off a dying flower, there was an almighty shudder. As if leviathan himself had coughed up not a man but an entire assembly of plasteel and lithometalics and spells woven and bound into the form of a multispacial vessel. Somewhere towards the aft section there was a sound as if the finger of god strummed an impossibly taut string... and broke it.
Entire left section of the console begun to glow crimson and a soothing voice begun to narrate a not so soothing litany of my imminent doom.
'Coolant voided', 'Core collapsing', 'Spatial manifold compromised'...
Ya ya ya... I yelled angrily at the machine voice, slapping down the alarms.

The mulidimensiator glared at me from the centre of the console, its cyclopean blue iris marked with four clovers of standard four dimensional space, gently wafting at me its message of nominality. It was no longer a chaotic dance of lighting energies, multiversal soup of quantum uncertainties. For better or for worse, laws of physics governed once more.

I fell back into the couch with a deep sigh, slapping open the webbing button.
The craft was silent with the finality only a misadventure may bring.
There were systems dying everywhere. Whistle of spinning down gyros, crackle of overheated insulation, muted howls of dying drive demons.

I had a feeling I would be here for a while.

TURD BLOSSOM

2008-03-22T15:57:00.001-07:00

Category: i-economic collapse

"Money Money Money must be funny, in the rich man's world." with those words ABBA has given us a Star Trek grade brain munching ear worm, today that line is more prophetic than ever. Though this time 'funny', is the la-la, white suit with leather restrains pumped full of psychoactive drugs 'funny', funny farm, funny in the head funny.
The 'rich men' have been shown to be no richer than you or me, holding bags of currency that makes monopoly money look attractive as a currency position.

For a very very long time, I was intuitively very weary of the entire western system of economy based on 'confidence'. Belay the notion of gold, thats terrorist and conspiracy nut talk. Belay even the notion of industry output, though some lip service is still paid to this quaint notion that you have to actually make stuff to get paid.

No, its all about confidence. The rich, contrary to my naive notion of wealth are actually not rich. Oh they have expensive cars, expensive houses and expensive trophey wifes. It transpires that the majority of their wealth, the really big money is in the form of loans...
blink
Loans from other rich people...
blink
Who in turn loan money from others...
rich...
people...

As the recent developments are beginning to demonstrate, you really can not fool all of the people all of the time. Sooner or later, someone naive bastard is going to point out that not only the emperor has no clothes, but his treasury is filled with genuine, gold gilded turds pushed as currency.

Is there any better indicator that the public has been artfully perception managed for at least the last 30 years?
The carefully stage managed notion that everything is just dandy.
The Titanic has not only sunk while we were re-arranging chairs on the deck, the Titanic is actually a paper boat that has kept afloat for no other reason than the combined delusional will of the passengers.

So what have we learned from this?
For one, those courageous enough to lift the carefully placed OZesque 'dont look under that curtain Dorothy!' are receiving some interesting insights into how the entire sordid sausage machine of economy works.

1. Banks make money out of thin air, for every dollar you deposit, they manufacture 9 to 25 to infinity dollars that they loan. Money that does not exist, ever. Money that when the loan is re-paid... will disappear.

2. Banks loan that pretend money to other organisations who then 'invest' it and make more pretend money with it. But this is now 'real' (not that the financiers call it that) money as its generated from solid financial products. This practice when executed by non-government authorised bodies is often called money-laundering and is criminal.

3. Solid financial products. To base an entire economy on the notion of financial product is an artful and brazen act of Chutzpa, and I do use the word advisedly. Very advisedly. For example, to package loan obligations, as in sub-prime house loans into a product that you then sell to other entities not only takes balls of steel. It takes balls of hardened titanium. Here kinds sirs, this parrot is not only dead, it will lay golden eggs for you.

4. We already are having the 'fix it' war. Historically when shit sandwich hit the fan in the past we went to war. The taxpaying herds were corralled into some patriot bullshit to get torn to pieces and mindfuck rape one another. This was always good for economy because the elites would make mountains of money and the taxpaying herds would forget about the real sources of their discontent...watch the hand! Watch the hand!

5. The US currency, for quite a while has been the standard. Instead of gold, other countries have bought US bills to hold in their vaults. This was good for the US. An equivalent of going shopping, getting all the stuff you want, knowing your cheques will never be cashed.

The entire house of cards is beginning to unravel.
This is why the US President, keeps saying 'All is well'.
We can not afford everyone to decide to back the paper funny money with solid stuff.
There simply is not enough of 'real' wealth out there to cover all the riches.

The confidence trick is being revealed to the taxpaying herds.
The elites knew about the sham for quite a while, you can be certain they are financially diversified enough to afford thugs to guard the walls of the estates when the hungry mobs show up on the doorstep of the mansions.

Unless the global financial cabal decides that is more profitable to sustain the status quo with more wars and more money printing, we are in for a 'corrective movement' that will make the great crash look like the crunch of a squirrel under the tire of the truck of reality bearing down the highway of common sense.
Expect gold to go stratospheric as people scramble to convert monopoly money into something that will get you a seat on the last plane out of the city.

Ultimately this entire cluster fuck is the result of losing touch.
If you repeat to yourself for long enough that the sun shines out of your arse, even you will start believing that the entire world revolves around you.

A cute fuzzy yellow duckling being crunched by a croc elicits sighs oh what a tragedy from us. The world does not play favourites or play fair.

Reason is the only way to re-connect the gods great design with the rigour of human mind ascribing the universe. Reason, not deranged babbling of confidence trixters selling us all figmentary bridges on the idiot box.
Where are you Freemasons!

The reality does indeed have liberal bias, and its about to give us a solid whack on the head with the rolled up exposition of the three rules of thermodynamics.

PRESENT TENSE ON THE OTHER SIDE

2008-02-19T02:58:00.001-08:00

The Bard would have had another beer.

William Gibson, he the smith who had wrought the word 'Cyberspace', visionary-cultural luddite-cyberpunk-digerati with a typing machine once said; "The future is now, it's just that it is unevenly distributed."

I am surrounded by panoramic display devices, bathing in the glow of excited sands.
The old school writer would say something along the lines of "The eerie glow of fluorecent green phosphorus eminating from the cathode ray tubes gave him sickly green glow of the undead.". Kinda quaint, Buck Rogers,Flash Gordon gay 1950's quaint.
Whether be it smart dust, retinal beam projection, 3D holo display, whatever... anything you can dream of will be old.

Nothing on earth ages quicker than the fertile inventions of a science fiction writer.
Not the latest seasons outrageous continental fashion.
Not the love of the night before after the day of a big party in the unforgiving sober light of the day.
Not a butterfly child turning into a grub adult.
It is true, nothing ages quicker.

In this glow I am given to reflect, as I listen to a highly compressed music track, the track alone a physical imposibility to create not so long ago, remember Hammond Organ? The words and thoughts of others are at my fingertips to recall from the furthest reaches of the globe.

A Magnate of wisdom, a Sultan of letters, an asymptotic Count of zero to infinity.
If knowledge is power then chain me with the finality of gravity, time and magic for only such bondage will restrain me.
If I were to open my mouth a roar would issue that would silence a hurricane.
If I were to gaze upon the barren ground, earth will convulse, writhe in extasy and birth fresh fruit, fragrant flowers and exotic wood.
Were I to lift a limb to toil, mountains would raise and valleys will crevace the land, winds of change will catalise the masses of folk to awaken from slumber.
In short, I, You, We, we have access to information that would make the library of Alexandia look like the corner news-stand (How long will that analogy hold cnn.com?).

To put it in the words of today, I fucking dig teh internets.

LARGE EGGS

2008-02-05T12:44:00.000-08:00

Yes, another post about politics

Just as I was making a Black Truffle Soufflé, sipping a glass of fine Pinot Noir a thought occurred to me. An increasingly rarer event.
The eggs were particularly small. Checked the box. Labeled as large.
Then enlightment... deceived by the industrio-military complex again!
The egg carton was marked; 'Eggs - Large, XLarge, Jumbo'
Following that new size table, say applied to penises, would have to add another category to describe my suddenly massive organ due to this insta-enlightement; 'Xtremely gargantuan, Hazardous to health, only handle with extreme care'.
Oh in case I need to further explain (unlikely) to my few readers;
Newspeak->English
Large=Small
Xlarge=Medium
Jumbo=Large
Whoa! How many other things does the marketing media spin for us!?
No one would buy Small eggs... but Large? Sure! Tax me more and lets bomb another country!

Well, for one...WTF is happening to the undersea internets cables?
Fourth cable cut in the space of the week?
As one of James Bond villains is alleged to have said.
'Once is accident, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action.'

< tinfoilhat>
Invasions these days are preceeded by attacks on infrastructure.
Witness the US invasion of Iraq where electricity,communications and water facilities were bombed for the main purpose of assigning multibillion dollar uncontested contracts to US companies and coincidentally making life hell for the locals.
Maybe thats one of the reasons they did not greet us with flowers. Sitting for a couple of weeks in darkness with no toilet would make you a wee bit cranky.
Anyway...
There were allegedly two good reasons to go into Iraq for.

1) Iraq was developing its own space program. For a dictator like Hussain, with a dream to unite all of Arabs under his iron grip and a common Caliphate, a satellite would give him incredible respect. The technology was a revolutionary artillery piece called 'The Doomsday gun' by the western industro-military machine owned media designed to launch satellites
Devised by Gerard Bull a scientist assassinated in mysterious circumstances *cough*mossad*cough*, the launch system would reduce the cost of launches from $Crazy to affordable. A story reported in the Australian, not just Barbados free press.

2) Iraq started trading their oil in Euros, every other little good pet Arab nation traded in Petrodollars.

The above are a matter of public record, albeit grossly under-reported (Censored) by the majority of western media.

With Iran pointed to as far back as 2004 as being the next target in expanding ~~hegemony~~ err...democracy, the following two events are noteworthy:

1) Iran starts a space program.

2) Iran is about to start trading oil in Euros in February by opening Oil Bourse.

Both key trigger events for the destruction of the Iraqi regime.
With the cry wolf WMD not holding any water, we are just waiting for a pretext to go to war with Iran.
With the war in Afganistan going badly, the best solution in Iraq being 'how well we can lose in the long term.' a normal person would think starting another war would be insane.
Just as well normal people are not in power.
War is good for business, happens far away from your shores and gives you a huge hardon

This is why, the 'coincidence' of a fourth undersea cable being cut makes me wanna buy a couple sacks of flour and a can of oil. See? Good for business.
Lets go and bomb some brown people, I might get another contract of employment out of it!

Now, would you like your large eggs scrambled?

THE MONKEYWRENCH

2007-12-10T14:56:00.000-08:00

Buy one now, avoid the xmas rush.

A truly universal tool, the monkey wrench is a welcome addition to anyone's toolbox. Whether to bash nails in, to throw it into the machinery, to use it as an ersatz weapon or in the extreme case, maybe even use it for its intended purpose, to screw and unscrew things.

I have recently been doing a stocktake of my toolbox. Trying to get in early before the new-year-resolution rush. Rummaging trough the various handy appliances I have found the sarcasm bolter, the irony clamps and the every handy negativazer dispenser. Handy though those tools are, the great inventions that I always wanted to build, namely the transdimensional portal projector, the icycle trimming machine, the CD gun and guard dog robot remain unmade. In short, I do not like the tools I am using, because as we all know, all failed tradesmen blame their tools. My tools are clearly inadequate to allow me to reach glory and public recognition that I so deeply deserve.

Having come across this (25 killer actions to boost your self-confidence) earnest post it restated some of the handy basic advice that is going to make any aspiring consumer fit in better into the industro-military consumer complex. Good advice, good advice indeed.

I have also started a commercial endevour that is likely to cause me a lot of sleepless nights and ruin me mentally and financially after a long futile effort.
Wait... wait... Rule No.5
I have also started a commercial endevour that is likely to cause me great deal of personal satisfaction and bring me a comfortable income with little effort.

And on this note... its worth remembering that 'The map is not the territory'.
But that is another posting entirely.

ERECTIONS AND WET SPOTS.

2007-11-29T13:38:00.000-08:00

Or how to combat erectile dis-function with high office position

Like many others here in Australia we were all sitting on the edge of our seats with white knuckles waiting for the entrenched Liberal (Liberal as in abusing the little guy, not Liberal as in freedom of expression) government to be unseated.

The Liberals have been entrenched as the governing party for years.
Something like 29 terms. There are generations of old people who remember Sir Donald Caruthers-Smithe as the last Labour leader holding office circa 1803. For this reason, the news of Liberals losing the erection was welcome with whooping and cheering in all the households with TV screens smaller than a small tennis court and property values below 5 million dollars. Naturally I exaggerate somewhat as it behooves my flowery style. There are some people who truly believe that Liberals have the right vision for Australia.
Though given that Liberal ex-leader Mr.Howard and and his anointed successor Costello (the man, not the cheese, easy mistake to make, both are on the nose) meteoric departure from power is an emphatic statement that the vision has proven to be a hallucination. Nay, not a hallucination, more of a drug induced, wet bedsheets, turning and tossing, half asleep nightmare.

Like many others we all expected Howard to pull a 20 feet radio dish out of his sphincter and snatch the election from the grasp of the defeat.
The entire liberal campaign was like watching a train wreck in slow motion.
In hindsight, I think it was lost when Howard announced on TV that he will resign if he is elected.
One more indication that Howard was removed from the real world not ever having a proper job in his life. The three principles of securing employment being:
1) Your employer expecting you to know how to do the job
2) You Staying in the job
3) Not making waves

The liberal campaign boiled down to these points.
a) Keep the old team in because its too dangerous to let people with no experience into government.
b) Don't mention the War!
c) Don't mention the climate change.
d) Booga booga Unions booga booga Unions Scary big teeth will eat you up booga booga!
e) Throwing large amounts of bribes at demographics identified by pollsters as likely to still vote liberals (Oldies - because they are too fogey to think clearly and wasnt Menzies Liberal?, and middle class families - maybe the'll forgive us for Workchoices and interest rates if we give them money now)

The 20 foot dish never emerged to everyones surprise. Another indication that great men lose not because they made mistakes but because they keep doing things the way it always worked. John Howard, the man who started his career as "Lazarus with Triple Bypass" clearly run out of medical procedures to keep his artifically animated ideological cadaver alive. Like the Mary Shelly's monster, its stumbled and staggered through the rapidly drying hot landscape groaning 'Eko-no-mee' squashing the peasants under its feet. Little wonder that the peasants rebelled and the pike and torches bearing crowd unseated the monster bereft of ideas.
When the monster was born, environmentalists were routinely and laughingly called 'tree hugging hippies' and 'ferals' and Unions still held some power in the workplace, resented by many. Howard, for all his political astuteness probably wondered why his great ideas failed. Ultimately, the reason for his unseating is that like many old men, he failed to adapt. He lived in a world that was only true in his head and sadly for him, the hordes of the sycophants surrounding him had no balls to point out to the emperor that he is wearing no clothes.

A few noteworthy episodes of the elections:
Poll rigging.
A few days before the elections, media polls predicted a 'close election'.
Ex-Labour numbers man Graham Richardson is on the record in saying that it will be a Labour landslide by 20 seats. So, unless Richardson uses the black arts of magic or the well resourced media is incompetent the media was trying to sway the outcome (one way or the other).

Who owns the government?
Through the pre-erection foreplay the media was flooded with negative advertising (paid by you and me) from the Liberal party that most of the Labour candidates had Trade Union background. Emphatically absent from the Labour advertising were the counter commercials stating that most of the Liberal candidates were either Lawyers, Corporate lackeys, Upper class prats or any combination of the three.
The absence can be explained by the choice of Labour not to run negative campaigning but also it is not a surprise prediction that Kevin Rudd will be on his knees in front of our blessed corporate masters with his lips firmly sealed around the life giving knob of the 'economic pump' as soon as he changes the curtains and the toilet seat in Kirribilli house.

Curious Absence of Mr.Wulf from the ballot paper
The absence of Mr.Wulfs wildly popular 'Dont just keep the bastards honest, hang and quarter them, you will be the first up against the wall when the revolution comes, yes you, Im talking to you you fucking noobcake!' party from the ballot paper is another evidence of how the industrio-military complex has subverted the so called free elections.

Chinese rigged the elections
Something for my Liberal voting friends (I know who you are!) to let you sleep better at night. Liberals lost the election not because of wildly incompetent, stale and arrogant style of Mr.Howard but because of the Red Chinese Conspiracy. The CIA is on the record of overthrowing governments when it suited the US Interests Why would the Chinese, a government with uh... about 2000 year start on everyone else in the field of diplomacy sit idly on their hands when they meet Kev who then proceeds to conduct the ENTIRE MEETING in Mandarin Chinese. Clearly, Kev is their man over the stodgy fuddy daddy who never held an honest job in his life, much less drunk and partied wildly with his chinese mates in a diplomatic posting in Bejing (or Bee-eee-jii-n-g as it is pronounced now).

And on the note of CIA influencing our government... Given that CIA has its hands full in other areas of the world. Notably trying to screw the Europeans and Chinese much less the profitable adventures in Asia the Australian desk is presently staffed by Bob 'One eye' who is just waiting for retirement and Sal the tea lady who is using one of the empty desks. No other explanation is possible allowing their last ally to depart thus making the 'coalition of the willing' a running joke since 3/4 of Americans don't want to be in Iraq either.

However, it was notable that Dr.Brendan Nelson has become an unlikely leader of the Liberals in opposition. A man who has ingratiated himself to the US Military complex by pissing away 7 billion dollars on useless aircraft against all the advice he was getting, in the process making Australia as capable of defending its airspace as the Republic of Upper Volta and Uganda.

I am hopeful though, he has shown himself to be an arrogant prat, calling all Australians dickheads in his first speech. On the topic of withdrawal from Iraq he said "governments do what is popular but sometimes you need to do what is right.".
Thus perpetuating the long overthrown myth that Iraq was a moral and right thing to do.

GG Brendan! Way to show that Liberals still don't get it, even under the new... uh...for the lack of better word...leadership.

UNDERWEAR THAT KILLED OUR FREEDOM

2007-09-23T02:47:00.000-07:00

CATEGORY: Un-fusc-ing-belivable

As if the latest orgy of tazering people is not convincing enough that not only have the terrorists have won, but somewhere along the line we have become the enemy to ourselves, I have come across this amazing piece of evidence to support this claim.

The following sounds like something the Chaser's comedy team would dream up, only its more crazy than driving a comedy convoy through 'security barricades'. Coincidentally, I feel so much better that we have spent 200+ million on a little pre-election Howard extravaganza only to discover that the security was as flimsy as the very premise to set it up.

UNDERWEAR! TEH UNDERWEAR IS TEH TERRORZ! ZOMG!!!
As the internet savvy would bespeak.
Apparently the lawyers in Guantanamo have been accused by the military of smuggling in fashionable underwear into the concentration camp. Read the response letter and weep.
Now, personally I have no doubt that the JAG Navy dude is a fine upstanding lawyer of the square jaw and sharp intellect that makes his TV series namesake look like a banana bending rabid monkey (ie. The RL guy is a real cool dude). But to accuse the lawyers of smuggling in underpants? No excuse me, I shall have to use appropriately emphatic language here to underscore my disbelief... WHAT FUCKING DIMWIT RETARD EVEN CONSIDERED THIS A FUCKING GOOD USE OF FUCKING TAXPAYERS MONEY, ENERGY AND AIR?

Let us consider for a moment that these people, scummy smelly towelheads that they are, are innocent. Innocent until proven guilty. Not even in the Kangaroo court of (guaff) 'military commishion' have these 'terrorists' have been found guilty. The fact that 'we' are punishing these 'terrorists' by denying them fashionable underwear means that if they have not been terrorists before they were put into the concentration camp they will most certainly be terrorists if they ever are released. Denied underpants, they most certainly go commando, imagine their uncircumcised arabic dicks, flopping in their orange prison fatigues for 5 years. Building tone, suppleness and girth! Ooooh... such a beast when released could... poke someones eye out at the very least. I say, give them fashionable underwear now! Cage those fidel penises before it is too late! All the time we have been fearing the wrong thing! It is not bacteriological, nuclear or chemical weapons. The biggest threat was always and shall remain, fashionably clad arab cocks. For as long as they wear unfashionable underwear, the free world can sleep safe.

Seriously, the Psyops guys have been sampling too much of the stuff added to the water supply or the world has well and truly gone mad.

UNDERPANTS!!!!

FUCKING... UNDERPANTS!

MY VISA ATE YOUR KARMA

2007-08-20T15:38:00.000-07:00

Category: Conspiracy, Erections, Nookular weapons

Thus I am here, inflicting my wit, such as it is, on the worlds automated blogg trawlers The Australian Index. Eyeballs! My kingdom for an eyeball! Said the blogger with the audience of 1.5 statistical viewers per week (judging by the flood of comments). A cry of a diarist desperate for page views.

For Allah will be done, at least I'll get some underpaid homeland defence 'intelligence analyst' reading this when it pops up on his intranet flagged as 'low threat rating, visual confirmation required, tick yes/no for further monitoring [Y/N]'. For the love of Allah please tick YES! I need every eyeball I can get, even if its automated NSA trawler. So without further ado, here is my honejar to the internets black ants . Osama sat in Bush, hiding from the Corrupt Western Democracies wanting to blow him up, set him up a bomb you see. Plans for nuclear (nookular) and bacteriological (poor personal hygene) and chemical (soap was a wee bit caustic) weapons clearly evident in his Allah dictated planet-wide consipracy of fundamentalist neo-conservative israeli counterintelligence underground splinter group, constituting a clear and present danger to the western world. Attack on utilities and financial infrastructure is possible as forecast by the prophets of doom, the internal security apparatus.

There, that should set off a couple of flags in the automation.
Quick, while I have the eyeballs!
I am supposed to be writing about what I know, but fuck me, who is going to read about Level 70 hunter in the World of Warcraft, Project Management or Sex? So, I will just make it up, with a bottle of whisky (Hey it worked for Hemmingway) and a studiously curled upper lip designed to show my irreverent distain for the world at large, I assume my infrequent role as a diarist of teh internets google machine!

'Diarist', a term I have recently heard on my favourite comedy channel, the Faux News. Spat out with barely held back vitrol by a conservative (as if it needs to be said) talk back radio jock. It cracked my face in a wide grin (still hurts, not doing that again for a while!). A term meant derisively as the old media is panicking as the millions of viewer eyeballs are slipping through its talons. No more corporate sponsored one-speak mind meld. The corporate boardrooms are shaking.
So 'Diarist' it is, a term I shall wear proudly on my chest, just next to the one that labels me as 'A free speech fundamentalist' (Thanks Dick!).
Corporate media, you suck so bad, your brown stain on the human history will be wiped clean by the pages of diaries!

Mahamed Hanief, visa decision is due today, interesting to see its outcome.
Seeing as the government has its balls up against the wall on this one I would be betting for a 'granted' verdict. However given how this government is more and more desperate to win the upcoming erection. In the words of opposition; 'A poll driven government' (as in what government is not WTF?), given that 66.6% of those polled on cable TV say he does not deserve a visa, I predict a 'not granted' decision.
Was it Goebbels that said 'Never overestimated the intelligence of the people', or words to that effect.
What happened to 'innocent until proven guilty?', even with the wide ranging terrorist laws aka 'He looks funny, therefore he must think funny' where the burden of proof is next to none as evidenced by the keystone evidence against the evildoer doctor (His brother told him to get out of the country).
Fuck me! If my distant cousin just blew up an airport and I was an Arab I'd be on the first plane out of the country to save myself 2 weeks in jail just for looking different. Sorry, not jail, 'Cooperating with the authorities with their enquries'.

Ah it makes me feel safer already tho.

Second, CONSPIRACY THEORY ALERT!!!
Ok, you know how the government is getting desperate?
CIA is involved! (They stole my Porche too the bastards!).
Having successfully neutered the Democratic party in Australia, CIA is now attempting to assist the incumbent government in winning the erection.
Why?
a) CIA has a record of interfering in other nations affairs to secure interests of US.
b) Kevin Rudd wants to pull out of the clusterfuck that Iraq has become.
QED: It is not in the US interest for Kevin Rudd to win the erection.

How? The Opposition leader Kevin Rudd, who is riding on a wave of popularity to an erection tsunami victory is Mr.Goody goody two shoes. Christian wholesome as they come. You can bet he tortures small animals for pleasure, no one but the most vile animal puts up such a convincing front as does this devious bastard.
Hence the scrutiny CIA has put Rudd under to help Howard pull out his Tampon out at the erection. Sorry, Tampa.
Using its well documented links to the US underground that runs, amongst other things such enterprises as lemonade stands, state government elections, old folks homes, trade unions, family fun days and you guessed it, strip clubs.
The mind boggles just exactly how, anyone would remember who went where, four years ago, unless the mob run strip joint keeps a record of all the faces coming in.
Who knows for what handy purpose such a record might be used.
Especially in the US, where all the politicians are all virgins until they marry, rarely drink and where upon becoming married to their highschool sweetheart they proceed to have missionary sex with their spouse only for the purpose of procreation.
Unless of course they are good at hiding bodies of their young lovers..

If Kevin Rudd was an American politician, such a disclosure would mean instant political death, or at least significant drop in polls. A measure of how horribly under-resourced the Australian desk is in the CIA, is that such a disclosure was throught to have a negative effect on the Australian voting public.
In the country where the national anthem is 'The pub with no beer', and yelling at scantly clad women to 'show us yer tits!', is thought to be a harmless, if juvenile behaviour any politician that is show to indulge in an occasional T&A in a drunken night on the town with the boys is only going to be met with a resounding;
'ON YA KEV!!!' (accompanied with a double thumbs up and a big grin) from the voting public.
In a brilliant stroke of acknowledgement of this state of affairs, Kevin Rudd's defence is 'I was too drunk to remember'. The man is a genius! Seriously.

So here is a tip for the Right Honourable Mr. Howard for the erection night.
If he wants to pull another Tampa out of an orifice, the night before the erection, arrange to be 'discovered' in a whorehouse, dressed in the Crocodile Man Khaki Safari Suit, riding a Koala suit wearing prostitute yelling and whooping 'Yeah baby, yeah! Take this Australian People!' (Well maybe skip the second sentence) in a drunken stupor twirling a bloodied tampon above his head.
Guaranteed.
100%
Vote winner.

But I am sure, come the election night, we will see something more spectacular than the above. If Howard has shown us anything before, it is that he can never, ever be Underestimated.

SPOT THE GUY WHO DIDNT GO TO WAR

2007-07-27T18:02:00.000-07:00

Category: It would be funny if it was not true.

Recently I was struck by a photo from the Times of India... can you tell the guy who skipped another war?.

G.W.Bush a documented deserter, runs with the Iraq war veterans.
Actually it is quite surprising to see the Vets are seen in his company given that very recently they have brought a law suit against the Bush administration over "Shameful failures" in care for returned Vets.

Anyway a picture speaks volumes, the grim faced vets and the Deciderer who has a record of abandoning his soldiers whilst making the noises to the contrary.

Apparently, as reported by Intelligence insider, Bush believes that he is "..Certain that history will eventually recognize and properly appreciate his courageous and visionary leadership".

Truly, If you were to make this stuff up, people would not believe you!

We report, you decide.

FIRST THEY CAME FOR THE MOBILE PHONE USERS

2007-07-26T18:26:00.000-07:00

Category: New world peace, security, personaly I welcome our new overlords

One of the great joys of living in a secure country where we are being protected from the terrorists, ourselves and those pesky throwbacks to the luxurious things of the hippy hippy 60's such as human rights and civil liberties is the fact that the law will always look after the ordinary people.

This is true. No matter how long the whiny pinkos protest about civil liberites lost in the war on surprise attacks, ultimately we are assured that 'If you have not done anything wrong, you have nothing to fear.'
With the determination of what it is that you have done wrong being with some shadowy character hidden in the dungeon of the royal palace and the proof against you being secret in the name of national security.
I am happy to accept this advance in civil liberties.
Such great avatars of justice like O'Rylie from the Faux News network always claim that the courts only exist to keep the crims free. I was ready to believe this.

Until that is, I have found that I am the owner of a terrorist device.
Do not spread it around, but I am in the possession of a mobile phone Sim card.
Apparently an indictable offence that in Australia can land you in jail for 2 weeks, followed by a lengthy stay in a luxurious residential hotel concentration camp for illegal migrants.

The wonderful self serving policies of government's past that had destroyed the Australian Health System, to the degree that we now have to steal third world doctors to maintain the degrading standards of health care in Australia have cought up with us. The chickens have come to roost if you will.
We are now employing terrorists in the public health care facilities.
I am willing to bet, had the government investigated, they would find more than just Mohamed Haneef owning a Sim card, I am willing to bet all of the doctors are filthy terrorists owning one of those democracy destroying devices.

But of course, I am exaggerating.
The man has been labeled terrorist because he is coloured and has a name of Mohamed. Thats practically a Taliban there. Just add black turban and AK57.
NAY! I can hear you scream in mock disgust! There was evidence to charge the man with 'Reckless support of terrorism'.

His SIM card was found in the unexploded car bomb...
Only this was later to be found to have not been the case, the SIM card being found in the flat of the terrorist.
Seriously, sit down and think for a nanosecond. Would a terrorist who is about to 'support' terror use his own SIM car when its trivial to fake one?
More likely the man, leaving for Australia gave the SIM card to his cousin when he was about to leave for Australia saying;
'Here Habib, by Allah, use my old SIM to make a car bomb while I go practice medicine in Australia.'
Where as a white man leaving for a foreign shore would say.
'Here Harry old chap, use my old SIM, it still got some credit on it while I go practice medicine in Australia.'
Can not trust those filthy ethnics I tell you.

Naturally, the investigation process was exacting and diligent.
At one stage the Police has presented their own list of terrorist names to Dr.Haneef under the impression that it was a list written by the doctor.

There was too the matter of the police publicly denying the rumour that there were photos of 'Prominent Gold Coast buildings' found in his possession and that they were not investigating alleged plot by Dr.Haneef to attack those buildings.

As I sit here now typing these words acrid smoke of old holiday snapshots and my old SIM cards drifts through the window as I burn those terrorist implements in my back yard. With judicial and judicious system that makes Keystone Kops look like Scotland Yard compared to this fiasco one can not be too careful.

The prediction is that Dr.Haneef is going to be deported to remove the smelly brown stain on the face of Australian government before the upcoming election.

This case is exactly the reason giving credibility to the claims of the pinko whiny left civil libertarians. Claims that the new terror laws can remove the onus of 'innocent until proven guilty', incarcerate innocent people and further bring us to the fuzzy border of a totalitarian police state, albeit with entertaining TV and well stocked Supermarket shelves to prevent the frog from realising its being cooked alive and hopping out of the slowly boiling water.

All I can say is for the A$20 billion dollars spent since 2002 on counter-terrorism this case is an insult to the Australian Nation. If the best we can do, after creating a massive, overblown, overpaid, civil liberties squashing beast wound up and ready to pounce at the threat to our nation, only to spring onto a poor innocent bastard going to see his sisters new born baby whose cousin is a Terrorist. The current Government, its executive branch should fall on its sharpened stick in shame.

This case has prove a few things:

That the Australian Government is still subservient to the Fatherland, when the Crown says 'JUMP' Australia rubs its head from hitting the ceiling.
That the so called 'Stringent and just anti-terror laws' are in fact a one sided collection of violation of civil liberties designed to make the Police's work easier. Aka. 'Only in the police state is the work of the Police easy'.
That the net will be cast as far and wide and even the most tenious, undocumented claims will be used to bring anyone even remotely suspect into jails for interrogation. Aka. 'The witch has drowned, therefore she was clearly innocent'
That 'Guilt by association' is alive and well.
That the public dollar spent on 'protecting the public' is in fact squandered and the public is in fact much less secure than before this war on surprise attacks.
That standards of proof are readily suspended to demonstrate that the money spent on anti-terror is in fact well spent.

It remains to be seen, once the dust have settled to charge that;
That there is no accountability at all for destroying one mans life, frightening the population and burning mountains on money on a wild goose chase.

Personally I am betting that no heads will roll and if they do they will be low level apparatchiks.

But I will leave this tirade with the paraphrised words of one of our glorious leaders who said words to the effect; 'If we don't do this (prosecute on the smell of an oil rag), I will be hauled over the coals if something happens.'

So there you have it;
a) We don't give a fuck about civil rights.
b) I only give a fuck about my own career.

P.S.: Props to the opposition (Labour) who stood up early in the piece and applauded the government for its glorious success. Once again only the 'fringe' parties show that only they can be trusted with the freedom of the people.

WITTY CLICHE IN LIEU OF A TOPIC.

2007-03-19T00:33:00.000-07:00

Category: It lives!

The rumours of my untimely demise have been greatly exaggerated. However, speaking mathematically, taking in the statistical distribution of the duration of the life of the universe vs the span of advanced (and I do use that word very losely) human civilisation generally and the lifetime of a human being, or more specifically, yours trully, the fact that there are ANY signs of life at all is trully wonderous.

To put it in other words, it's bloody amazing there is a post from Mr.Wulf at all. Hell, its bloody amazing there is Mr.Wulf! I have had posted a gargantual entry a while back. Making numerous references to major deities and my dear friends (in some cases one and the same). A post of epic scale and proportion, eclipsing the Homers Illiad, Entire body of work of the Bard and more artful than the Sistine chapel ceiling (god bless Italians /wave@T.). I am being entirely too modest when I say, the blogg entry had the all the best features of Mr.Wulf postings on SiN boards in full swing and ineberation and the contents, when deciphered by scholars would have had profound influence on the future development of human kind specifically and sentient throught in general. This is my recollection of the content in the alcohol induced haze, however having had to close one eye to see the screen had caused me to make the post dissapear and thus the humanity will be all the poorer for this great loss. /sob

All in all, this blogg is not stale... merely very, very chewy.

I shall dispense with the traditional wit-lessisisms and rather concentrate on some solid facts.As it behoves me having made a post out of the blue.First, let me mention my very, very dear friend [Alt]143. She keeps bugging me to be mentioned in my blogg.So there [ALT]143, stop bugging me, you are now officially mentioned. In four sentences no less, thats three more sentences than I usually reserve for the rest of my good friends which is a fair indication of [Alt]143's coolness.

Second, naked greedy myopic authoritarian bastards suck and will be the first to go up against the wall when the revolution comes. More on that, in future posts

Third, I have managed to con some poor bastards into using their corporate connection for internet surfing during business hours. When I don't read digg.com, 'Hey! It's work related, now stop bugging me and fill out the cover sheet for the TPS report ok?' I am changing the course of human civilisation for the better. At least that is my rationale for getting my (not inconsiderable) arse out of the bed every morning and goingto work. In short, I am writing some stuff for the future, based on some stuff I did in the past whilst reading a lot of crap other people have written. I think it's called being a 'Knowledge worker', I call it 'An indoor job with no heavy lifting'. A damn site better that what the Australian government job search (pardon me while I spit my coffe out in a messy and exaggerated gesture of poorly enacted myrth) found for me, that is, pouring toxic household chemicals from large containers into smaller plastic containers. No, the fumes have not affected me for I would rather ambush joggers in the park and drink their blood, rather than take a crap job to survive. Not that I am too proud, its just that if I am going to be humiliated by a high school dropouts whilst getting paid starvation wage and simultaneously doing irreperable damage to my body, I'd rather do something newsworthy. I also ripped off wings of flies whenI was a child! Now what do you make of that secret world government psychology profiler! Eh! Eh!

Im kidding about the flies's, I am not that evil...I actually used energy-beam weapons to burn the evil bastards in the name of corprate profits and Christianity - Thus making it my free ticked to eternal paradise, sans the 72 virgins (MAN! Did the Christians get the short end of the kebab!).
Perhaps I should trail off into irreverence here before my file gets upgraded from 'Harmless' to 'Mostly harmless'.

Fifth, I am thinking that senility is actually a good thing since you are stopping to worry about things like 'Why the fuck does the evil triumph over good, and is evil necessary for without evil there can not be good. And why does this matter if the universe has no moral judgement values! Apage relativismus!Instead one begins one's day with 'Oh hey! A new pain, I hope THIS one is not going to kill me, like all the others.'The whole arc of human life experience thing.

Sixth, you are correct, there was no point four, bonus points for being observant you analy retentive bastard! Its people like you that invented concentration camps! Relax a little you facist compulsive obsesive for fucks sake! /stab.

By this point I both duly and dully conclude that if you are still reading you are either drunk or a great fan of my works (puts fist to right cheek, extends thumb and small finger from the fist) and thus I shall spare you further pain and suffering, leaving that for the next infrequent installment of my wit. Which at this rate, is scheduled at some time around July... 2009.

Party on, and be excellent to each other.

P.S. I have just found that I can only edit this post in Internet Explorer, a further conclusive proof that Gill Bates is actualy working in concert with the Bilderbergs and the Templars in a personal vendetta to drive me FURTHER into insanity. DUH! Triggered some Echelon semantic forest flagfalls with that one... DUH DUH! Did it again!

.

FREEDOM HATING LATTE DRINKING HIPPY

2006-07-25T04:44:00.000-07:00

Category: Right way or no way!

< Hums to self Deutchland, Deuchland uber alles >.

Facist pig dog scum.
Freedom hating academics. If only my government would allow us to own an automatic weapon, I have absolutely no doubt that the right thinking induhviduals would arise and smite down these lunatics. They have absolutely no idea what is right and whats is wrong. If you respekt your leaders, you don't read too much, you are seeing things right. Ey?
But I digress.

An ignorant piece of excreta, one Floyd Rudmin a Professor of Social & Community Psychology at the University of Tromsø in Norway wrote a paper on the sikrit communications intercept program in the US.
Using maths to prove that the government is in fact using the program to listen in on its citizens and not 'the terrorists'.
Something about Xlotto. Well my wifes, daughter's nices to whom my uncle is married won Xlotto once so that proves how smart he is! I bet my bullpit is smarter then him.

Maths, Bah! What does he know. Next, fairies like him will try to claim that maths can be used to get the man to the moon, or create a n00kular bomb or calculate the stresses of the hull of a submarine. Language of the universe my arse!
The only thing math can prove is that people who use math are freedom hating terrorist lovers. Math should be banned and jihadis like this Rudmin fellow should be shot. For gods sake this ignorant prick is not even white! He's norwegian. Muslim, coloured heathen. After we are done bringing democracy and Christiandom to Iraq, Iran, Syria, North Korea, Sudan, Cuba and the US I recon we ought to go to North Africa and sort out these Norwegians, Libians and Pakistanis!
Who does he think he is? If it was not for the allies during WWII the ingrates would still be grunting the porky pork as the hun jizzed over their entire desert covered country. Bastards!

Just as well Howard (whos a limp wristed guttless pussy hisself, don't get me started on him, we ought to be bombing the shit out of the Norwegians in Lesbonon RIGHT FUCKING NOW!) made univercitiez so expensive only the right people can go there and get teh eduhcation. We are not likely going to see any more norwegian terrorists if you have to pay $200,000 to learn to read. Lucky ey?

The point is, the academics are a threat to freedom and Democracy.
The sooner we shoot these parasites the better off we will be.
That Pol Pot fellow had it right, even though he was a slanty eyed yellow dwarf bastard.

MOST FIRVOLOUS USE OF TECHNOLOGY - EVER.

2006-06-06T06:44:00.000-07:00

Category: Science fact!

I do believe I have reached a certain height of technology induced lazines that is hard to beat. If this feat has been beat, I would like to hear of it.
It is extraordinary for the use of technology infrastracture for the least possible reason and utilty. Is it looking for aliens in the contents of a duck's stomach? Certainly, less useful to the human race than blowing 1 billion U$ dollars a week on a war nobody needs (hey, this is Wulf's blogg, you didnt think we'd miss at least one reference to that BS).

I have misplaced my mobile phone. Albeit, only by the means of the thing falling off my desk in the darkened room. What was my ingenious solution to this quandry?
Get up and switch on the light? Nay, too physical.
Reach over to the left and pick up the desklight and cast some illumination on the floor. Nay! Too obvious!

Why not use the multimilion dollar telecommunication infrastructure and send a personal deamon doing my bidding through the bizantyne intricasies of the telecommunication systems maze. Reach for the (landline) phone, dial my mobile.
Sparks fly, relays click, photons are injected into fiber optics, data streams spawn and die. Wonderous mysteries of geekdom cause the phone to ring and thus betray its presence under my chair.

I have not done anything less extraordinarily lazy before in my life.
Nor do I hope to do so ever again.

MY PLEASANT CHAT WITH A SERIAL KILLER.

2006-05-26T18:29:00.000-07:00

Category: True

I frequently talk to individuals from all walks of life.
I do this based on the belief, that the exchange however brief and simple will benefit me at worst and enrich both individuals at best.

Recently I had a conversation that had made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. A conversation that confirmed in solid, indisputable facts that the war is wrong and its consequences will haunt the West for many, many years to come.

I had a conversation with a mass murderer.
One who by his own admission killed more than 200 people.
He did not try to hide it.
He was proud of it.

To put things into perspective. Ted Bundy confessed to 30 murders, 'Son of Sam', killed around 10. "David" has killed 200 people and the government not only did not prosecute him but awarded him 4 decorations.
Yes this gentleman is a soldier.
"David" was in Afganistan in the US Army Special forces B-Group, Delta Wing.

His platoon killed over 3000 people by his own words.
This raises a couple of interesting points.

1. The US government may not be officially keeping count, but rest assured the individual units are keeping scalp count.
I am concerned not out of some 'misguided' humanitarian concern.
I am concerned that we are killing these people beause with each death we create a martyr, each dead muslim (more on that later) spawns an army of avengers. Uncles, brothers, friends. Everyone who knew the man at best starts to hate his killers, at worst takes up the arms against them. Far short of making the world a safer place, like the legendary hydra, each time a head is cut off, seven more sprout in its place. Many believe that this is exacatly the purpose of this long, never ending war. Not to 'win' it, because its unwinnable. But to put our entire civilisation on a war footing where human rights are continually abridged and abused and public wealth is squandered on un-necessary military expenditure making the few wealthy even wealthier and the poor masses even poorer.

2. The 200 dead were all guilty. Sentenced and executed by the Cowboy frontier justice. The Guantanomo bay concentration camp is a luxurious and just representation of human rights compared to what is happening on the front.
One of the 200, even had a grenade in his pocket. Thus making him guilty of the heinous crimes of trying to destroy Christianity.
Ignoring the fact that the grenade was in his pocket not in his hand.
Ignoring the fact that in a country whith no central government for over 20 years a grenade and a rifle are as common item of apparel for men as an umbrella and a cigaret lighter are here. This man, one of the 200, the one most guilty of crimes against the west. The one who was fronted as an example of the evil Muslims. One out of 200. The crime justifying his death was a grenade in his pocket.

< blink >

I will not even dwell on the necessity of searching the pockets of the dead. Half out of some deep desire to prove that the enemy compound you just annihilated was in fact the seething nest of terrorist vipers and not civilians, half out of operational necessity for intelligence. Oh the irony of that word.

The best you can come up with after the massacre to justify your kill count is 'You find a grenade in his pocket'. Not 'you find a machine gun nest', not 'you find communications equipment', not 'you find explosive belts' but 'you find a grenade in his pocket'. Thus he was not an innocent civilian.

3. "David's" commander was in his own words, 'A scary guy who was on the horn to the White house all the time'. For a moment, ponder on what makes a man who proudly kills 200 think of another as 'A scary guy'. Secondly, given that statement, there is little doubt that Bush, Blair and Howard are ignorant of the war crimes committed in our name every day this madness continues. We are all complicit by our silence. The media avoids exposing us to the reality of the torn apart bodies of the old and young alike not because of some sense of 'propriety' but knowing full well that if we were to understand the daily attrocities commited in our name we would rally and stop this un-necessary waste of life and resources. But really, that is not as important on what is happening on 'Big Brother' this week.

In our conversation I had asked "David" whether he had heard of the Nuremberg trials. Yes he has heard of it. But, he quickly added, the defence of 'Following orders' was false by most of the accused. Indeed, they have been mainly the instigators of those orders. That at least was a minor consolation. That somewhere deep in his soul, there is some regret and fear that his actions were wrong.
That he does not necesserily believe that "If it had not been for his actions, screaming mad Muslims would be slaughtering me in my living room." (His words).

By all definitions War Crimes are being commited every day in our name.
It is little comfort that United States the avatar of Freedom is in the company of China a country US frequently lambasts for violating basic human rights and Israel in 'unsigning' the International Criminal Court designed to prosecute War Criminals.

Maybe this is the real reason why there is secrecy surrounding our valiant fighting men defending us from the screaming fanatical hordes and carrying the burning cross of jesus christ our saviour into the heart of the heathen heartland.
To paraphrise, "Gentelmen we have met the enemy and it is us. We are as mad and as fanatical as the other side.".

Again, I would like to see the bright side. The fact that his decorations were sent to him by mail and were not to be officialy acknowledged shows embarassment by the government. A shame that by the standards that we like to measure ourselves as civilised and elightened we have failed.

Ultimately this is why war is evil.
Not only because it brings misery, destruction, injustice, scars and poverty to all but the very few.

War is evil because it turns the enligtened society into bloodthirsty mad beasts abandoning reason for animal instinct.

Terror war indeed.

PICK YOUR POISON.

2006-04-23T18:41:00.000-07:00

Category: Language is a virus from outer space

Recently, there has been some debate in the media whether the daily massacres, collapse of civil order and personal tragedies in the liberated Iran can be considered a 'Civil War'.

Ask yourself this.
Debating when a woman is pregnant or not means the woman is very likely pregnant.
Debating whether a fire had destroyed a house means the fire has in all likelyhood, destroyed the house (or at least made it uninhabitable).
Debating whether one is an alcoholic, means one is an alcoholic.

Thus by definition, having a debate whether you have a 'Civil War', likely means you have a 'Civil War' on your hands. I know that this is extremely hard to acknowledge by the liberators of Iraq (ie: us and US). That our glorious, just and justified adventure has desintegrated as predicted by many into an expensive and tragic slow motion disaster of epic proportions.

So what exactly are the criteria of a Civil War? Is it 2 Car bombs a day that make for a Civil War or just the one? Do tortured corpses found in a back alleys daily constitute a Civil War or do they have to be found only in large groups for it to be a Civil War. If the leaders of the victorious liberatorsh have to skulk into the country on secret and unanounced visits for fear of the terrorists/guerillas does that make for a Civil War or merely 'unstable situation'.

Fact is, if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and looks like a duck. It is very likely a duck.

A lame duck.

Just so that we do not dwell to long on the stench eminating from the rotten carcass of the dish, the Chef is promising us another banquet in Iran.
This one will be tastier and healthier and this time all the ingridients will be right and this time its going to be good for us. Really!

Hail to the Chef!
His salty brown balls would be a delicacy if he had any.

PM TESTIMONY IN FRONT OF THE AWB ENQUIRY.

2006-04-12T20:24:00.000-07:00

Category: Circus

Having a direct pipeline to God, his earthly minions and a bottle of grog I am now in position to bring my two readers the testimony by the right honorable PM John Howard on the AWB (Australian Wheat Board) bribes to Iraq scandal.

The PM has put his sworn testimony in front of the enquiry today and it is my pleasure to bring you his explosive testimony.
The enquiry is conducted by Justice Cole. John Howard uni classmate.

Guy Howard went to school with: "Thank you Mr. Howard for appearing in front of this enquiry."

PM: "No, no! Thank you! We promised to be entirely open, this is why I am here."

The guy Howard went to school with: "Mr. Howard, it is alleded that there were a number of diplomatic cables and dispatches that AWB was paying bribes to Saddam Hussain."

PM: "Saddam had Weapons of Mass Destruction!"

The guy Howard went to school with: "Yes, thank you. Thats not the question however."

PM: "Err...yes... Labour would have paid the bribes too if they were in power. Not that we paid bribes, nor Labour will EVER be in power again. EVER!"

The guy Howard went to school with: "To the question at hand..."

PM: "Yes... No one told me about these dispatches."

The guy Howard went to school with: "So you have not seen the documents?"

PM: "No, I avoid seeing any documents. In case of exactly such a fuck up."

The guy Howard went to school with: "And you were not advised by your staff of advisors nor ministers that bribery was taking place?"

PM: "The terrorists are gonna get ya!"

The guy Howard went to school with: "I think that's exactly the question. The government was saying at the time that Iraq was supporting terrorism and we were paying them bribes to buy our wheat."

PM: "No one told me about that!"

The guy Howard went to school with: "Mr. Howard, are you saying you have not read your routine dispatches that you are expected to read, nor did your staff?"

PM: "I have told my staff in no uncertain terms 'Any items that could possibly be construed as containing any smidgen of information are not to be submitted to my attention.'. I am an ideologue. My decisions are based on my omnipotence and selfrightousness. I can not allow important decisions like running a country to be influenced by facts and figures!"

The guy Howard went to school with: "Mr. Howard, are you saying that you are running the great nation of Australia with no heed of the true state of the world?"

PM: "Facts are open to interpretation."

The guy Howard went to school with: "In summary, you have never seen any information what so ever at any time in your priministership?"

PM: "Thats right. In fact I discourage reading any documents by any of my staff. Less work you see."

The guy Howard went to school with: "Thank you Mr. Howard for this incisive and revealing information."

PM: "Lets have a glass of imported Merlot mate."

BEST DEMOCRACY MONEY CAN BUY.

2006-03-29T18:22:00.000-08:00

Category: rights, or rather lack of them.

It has been said that your rights, property and life is not safe when the legislature is in session. More so when the so called democracy is a farce as it is right now in Australia with both the lower and upper houses being controlled by the Liberal party.

Following a series of revolutionary laws, designed to make the rich richer and the poor poorer, we are now heading at reducing our own democratic rights.
At the time we are bleeding incredible ammount of resources alienating half the planet, fighting wars all in the name of spreading democracy, here at home new laws have been passed designed to lessen peoples rights.

Some of the farsical changes are:

Convicted criminals will now lose their right to vote.
According to the Liberal party, 'Because all australians agree'.
Naturally, nothing to do with the fact that lower socio-economic classes tend to vote labour. I think its a brilliant idea, take a person from the fringes of the society and rehabilitate them by ensuring that now they trully feel an outcast.

The secret donations have been increased from $1,500 to $15,000 for individuals and $90,000 for companies. Now, companies and individuals can buy favours from the government in secret.

Aborigines and the youth will have their right to vote reduced by changes to registration process. Once again, not the demographic group that tends to vote for the Liberals.

I for one, welcome our new democratic overlords.

AMERICAN SECRET AGENTS HELPING AL-QUADA!

2006-03-05T02:10:00.000-08:00

Category: Media bias

I have watched a movie today. Granted it was fictional, allegedly.
It was based on facts. In it, american secret, undercover rogue agents (aka 'enemy combatants') were fighting a legitimate army of occupation, invited by the legitimate government to fight the insurgents.

The american agents were helping mujahadeen, holy warriors of Islam.
I was surprised how the american movie favourably painted the fanatical armed followers of Mohamad. The mujahadeen women and children were shown suffering terribly from the indiscriminate bombing of the legitimate army.
Terrorists were shown using sabotage and subterfuge to disrupt pacification activities designed to bring peace to the trouble land.

The occupying army naturally was concerned about these terrorists and was interrogating them to extract information that might stop further terrorist attacks.
Something that Bush, Blair and Howard all support. Yet the movie made the occupiers look like monsters. Typical hollywood leftist bias?

No, RAMBO III a movie accussed of being right-wing propaganda when it came out in 1988. The Islamic terrorist were fighting the Soviet army who was massacring the civilians in the name of restoring peace.

There are a few message that this movie carries today;
i) The enemy of your enemy is your friend, but may become your enemy.
ii) The enemy of your friend may become your friend.
iii) Given the above, when we kill enemies, we are killing our friends to be.

On the other hand, it was hilarious seeing Russians behave like Americans in Abu Ghabi and mowing down civilians in the name of peace whilst Rambo was expressing stone face outrage and the very actions we now justify as necessary.

LIVE WELL, LOVE MUCH, LAUGH OFTEN !

2005-11-01T23:47:00.000-08:00

SUFFER, HATE, SCOWL!

LIVE WELL, LOVE MUCH, LAUGH OFTEN ! Coming home from work this phrase tore through the paper thin membrane separating the dross of life from the ponderous inner sanctum.
I had walked back along the footpath to re-read and commit to memory the lofty advice. As I was walking to the bus, I gave the philosophy its due consideration.
Truly, a life embodying those principles would result in a worthy person, touching those around them like a whisk of angel's wing feather brushing ones cheek. Beautiful, subtle yet deeply profound.

LIVE WELL, LOVE MUCH, LAUGH OFTEN ! This day like any other I whored my brain wishing I had whored my body. Sure the latter sucks (or rather you suck) but the pay is better than the former. Dragging my feet on the dirty spittle and chewing gum strewn pavement of this hole of a provincial town heading to my dormitory hovel. Hatching my next casual, senseless act of un-necessary violence, this idiotic slogan sprung into my vision, temporarily disrupting my lecherous admiration of the tight arse of the underdressed girl pedestrian in my field of vision. I did a double take. What fucktard thought this little gem up? Fucking Prozac addicted, priviliged, sociopathic virgin, little doubt.

So, I begun to consider, recent developments in my life, through this casual yet profound gem of philosophy. Thrust into my life like a seashore beacon to a lost vessel at sea. Take for example the fact that I am walking to and from work.
A blessing indeed. My vehicle stationary at the lights was struck by a ricoche car, spun off like a whirling missile of destruction from a high speed colision in the midst of the intersection. What luck there were no fatalities. Had it not been for that fortuous event, I would be driving to work, rather than walk. A true blessing! We do not exercise enough.

Dark clouds begun to gather under my skull, the merely dark and overcast menace of a storm bursting into a swirling tropical depression. What imbecillic turd would come up with inane prattle like that? Take the fact that my car was written off by a tard who ought have not to make it through childhood, much less puberty and live to the age whereupon his palm was large enough to fish out a driving licence from a box of cornflakes? Curses upon his house! Bring back the sabre-toothed tigers I say, release them upon the streets to cull the slow witted and infirm.

Each morning as I walk I have an opportunity to reflect on the beauty of life. Ordinarly passing by, rushing in a vehicle from one unimportant thing to another, in the big scheme of life equally unimportant matter. Unable to feel the warm rays of the sun, the gentle caress of zephyr cooling my skin. Even the insects, buzzing around me sing a triumphant symphony of life. Though mere blow flies, still an important element of our ecology, turning decay into rebirth, death into life. A reminder that everything in life is but a mere cog in the wonderfuly complex mechanism of grand mystery of life. Pass not judgement on one small part least you denounce the entire magical schema.

FUCK! Fuck fuck fuck! I fucking hate it. Walking up and down this forlorn road, the only fucking pedestrian on the rundown sidewalk. How fucking prophetic. A roadkill in the rat race. Sweating like a fucking pig, inhaling the disel fumes from the fucking planet raping 4WD driven by ignorant bimbos whose only accomplishement in life is that they can suck cock well enough so that some accountant or a real estate agent or some such parasitic life form marries them. And the fucking flies! Take a fucking number! I will be dead soon enough. Fucking flying little winged maggots. Belzeebubs little children, trying to get into my every unexposed orfice, me flayling my limbs like a fucking spastic. Makes me wanna take up entymology and nail the little fuckers to a board with needles and watch them die.

Speaking of magical schemas, our wise ruler, the honorable John Howard is passing the anti-terror laws to protect us from the freedom hating evildoers. A wonderful coincidence that at the same time the laws are to pass through the parliament, the ASIO releases a report stating that evil muslims lurk under every prayer rug in our community. Sometimes thigs do happen by accident. Whatever the silly, uninformed protestation of the terrorist loving minorities, it takes a man of backbone, vision and fortitude to secure our future. Civil liberties is a luxury in times of war.
Let it not be said that the man is not reasonable, he has backed away from the shoot-to-kill provisions of the suspects. We will be victorious in the war on terror only though the determination of men like Howard. Howard and the unknown US marine saying on the radio that "...they certainly make an impact on the lives of the Iraqi people.". His job, distributing water to schools through the US water trucks. I am heartened, with men like these the causes of terror will be eliminated. Where they deal out death, we deal out life. Where they deal out despair, we deal out hope. We shall prevail.

Fucking lunatics! Thousands of aussies die in Australia due to inadequate medical attention, road accidents kill thousands a year, fucking lightning has more chance of killing you than some fucking mad towelhead. Made mad by a video footage of a US tank machine gunning a fleeing Iraqi family car, daddy, mummy, kiddies, granny and the whole fucking blood splattered circuis. Had our own media been allowed to show what attrocities we commit in the name of 'War on terror', our own placid civilians would start blowing shit up. But hey, since when did you see an opportunistic politician pass up a chance to suck more taxes from the people while at the same time enslaving the nation more. Hello ubiqutous surveilance, goodbye illusion of fucking freedom. Backing away from 'shoot-to-kill' provisions, pigs arse! Relegating the provisions to state authorities means a return to the 'shot while trying to escape' cliche of the bad 1930 police shows.
Fucking US marine saying on the radio '... they make impact on people of Iraq'. Sure do, as the round tear through the flesh. Drop a bomb on a fucking village house and call the smoking bloody ruin a terrorist compound. There sure as fuck wont be anyone left alive to argue to the contrary. Delivering water to the school kiddies. How fucking noble. Had the US planes not targetted the water and power plants as priority targets during the war, there would be no need for this sacrafice. Maybe we ought to stop fucking bombing innocent civilians and raping the allaged 'evildoers' rather then to tighten the chain around our own neck to win this 'Terror war'. What the fuck do I know? I am only a pissant, (nominaly) working poor.

Given the two sides of the coin one LIVE WELL, LOVE MUCH, LAUGH OFTEN
and the other SUFFER, HATE, SCOWL!
I think I will do well and choose my own motto.

Somewhere in the middle. Safe.

LIVE, TOLERATE, SMIRK.

Thats what would Jesus do. But that is another fucking story.

BAWK! CLUCK-CLUCK! BAWK!

2005-10-18T05:23:00.000-07:00

Cat-egory: Con-spiracy

The age old dilemma, what came first, whether the chicken or the egg has been solved. Clearly and emphatically, the chicken. The egg, a mere survival capsule for the foul fowl intent on wiping all life on earth that does not believe in the ancient religon of getting the early worm. A pattern is emerging from all signs on earth and the sky (ie:my TV set). The chicken flu, not as a poulty problem as originaly thought. Pecked to death by journalist and comentators, the seeds of a disaster are being sown. The four rooster of acocopolypso have ridden into town and set fire to the KFC outlets.

The government is clearly panicking. The so called anti-terrorist exercises are secret, equipment hidden away from the beady eyes of the media. Clearly the sight of rows of weasel and fox cages would unsettle the public. Our crack teams of commando trained weasels are our last best hope to stop the terrorista fowls.
The anti-terror laws draft a mere distraction. A government called 'Mean and tricky' by the opposition, introduced a draft law, whereupon suspect terrorist would be beheaded on the streets, a mere suspicion of having the notion of an anti-government idea would result in being plucked off the street and looking as if you were about to squat would have you be turned to stock. Naturally, such new anti-chicken... er-terror laws were though to be anti-humanitarian (squint). After opposition to the fowl laws from the chicken-soup lobby and the society for the preservation of traditional english breakfast, the laws were plucked from the most onerous provisions. In the new version, as long as you keep your claws and your beak clean you have nothing to fear!

I feel it is incumbent upon me to stand on the egg crate, pluck up the courage and crow at the top of my lungs. The foul fowl of the apocalypse are coming!

AUSTRALIAN WORKER ARGHREEMENTS (AWA)

2005-10-08T17:06:00.000-07:00

Category: Cold truth.

Last week I have come across a treasure. My daily run through the bunker where I have a small but failing business hawking ethical positions, moral fibre and the good of the nation, allows me to have access to some interesting sources of information. I was just passing by the secure document disposal pile. There were mountains of important information that was piling up to be destroyed. The Bali 9 federal police memos. Amanda 'I know nooofink!' Vanstone immigration department reports. The Australian intelligence reports disclosing that God told Bush to invade Iraq and last but not least, evidence that we have the best democracy money can buy.

Still, I was in luck, on the top of the pile, there was a small package.
In it, there was some frilly underwear, a small package of what looked liked a controlled substance, and some polaroids of a well know member of a major politial party in a compromising position with an alsatian, a coffe grinder and a pear.
Clearly material designed to detract from the packing paper.
The wrapping proved to be a printed draft of new Australian *smirk*liberal party new industrial laws.

As you may know, or have been craftily manipulated into not knowing (release on SUNDAY afternoon?!). New Australian labour laws are introduced today.
And so, here is the scoop. Before it hits the media, for a few hours before events of Monday wash the item from the front pages (including the craftily manufactured "Big news" distraction). The scoop, new industrial agreements to supercede the current award conditions. Boiled down to 5 basic entitlments for everyone's benefit.

1) You have the right to a competative salary.
The salary, before taking out the governments cut must not exceed the minimum salary someone, somewhere on this planet will accept for doing your job. So. If there is a starving Boskonian out there in the mids of transilvania, willing to do your job for .5 farthings a day. This is going to be your maximum salary.

2) You have a choice of work incentives.
The overseer may use a cat of nine tails or a bull whip to stimulate productivity. You can choose either.

3) Your entitments to sick leave are generous.
If you get sick, you may leave.

4) Generous termination terms apply.
Upon your termination, you are entitled to one (1) cardboard box (subject to availability) and a security guard escort to the council boundry of the premises.

5) Negotiating further conditions.
These conditions are of course only meant to form the basic, inalienable workers right. Additionaly, you the worker may negotiate whatever other terms you manage to negotiate. Given that you, a single individual with poor re-employment prospects, will be negotiating with a multinational megacorporation with lawyers up the wazzoo and the moral posture of a hungry canine in a sausage factory, your milage may vary.

I for one, welcome these changes.
It is certainly going to make employment in my newly opening "Independant transplant organ farming, pizza shop, migrant assistance office adoption center and second hand clothing" much more profitable.

WET, SLOPPY, SEXY...SCIENCE

2005-08-14T01:57:00.000-07:00

Category: Satire/Humor

Hey baby, check out the size of my xray chromospectrograph, its throbbing with the raw modulation of standing waves crashing upon your neuro-receptor cluster.
No matter how hard one tries sex up science, its HARD. Umm... God, may she protect us from bad sexual innuendos. One would think this is a formidable task, sexing up Science is as hard as... as... sexing up evidence for going to war.

To this end though the South Australian gummint is running a number of semen-ars (STOP IT) to make Science more appealing to the masses. An initiative by Baronessa Doctor Savant Science-Rock star, she of flower power couture and neuroscience who also happens to be the South Australian Thinker in Residence. Having attended this event tonight with my friend T. I have to say, it is a task worthy of any self aggrandizing ego and fundamental communications skills and having the former in excess and the latter falling somewhere in the creepy zone between the fun and the mental I take advice of Suzie baby to heart, lift my hand and freak out all the assembled in the process.

To the fun-dations of science.
All your impressions about science are wrong.
It is not a process whereupon a scantly clad female is chained to a table whilst a hunchbacked nerd with a bad bite is cackling madly as he cranks the handle of an apparatus elevating the misfortunate said female to a position where a sparky thing is going to turn her into the bride of frankenstein. An easy misconception to formulate given that in peoples minds, the closest most scientists would ever get to a scantly clad female is using some sort of bondage device. Nevertheless, scientists are quite capable of breeding as evidenced by the continution of the genus. This fact alone should give some hope to the non-sixpacked, non-muscular, non-dumb, heterosexual part of the male species. However, I digress.

Science is all about securing funding.
Secondarily, it is about securing attractive postdoc students to help you out.
Thirdly, it is about stuff.

I shall focus on the latter, least important part, stuff.
Though that comes last, tradition dictates that some heed be paid to it.
Science is a subject steeped in tradition. Tradition like wild parties in labs where ethanol flows from beakers in milliliters at a time, semi-riske high-brow jokes are told and hilarity ensues as fun is made of droll though unintentional mispronounciation of difficult latin root words by the University administrators.

Stuff happens. This on the surface of it, simple axiom and conclusion has been reached by a lengthy study of stuff. It sounds prosaic and wasteful, but such pronouncements have to be made after a careful consideration is given to the matter at hand. Naturally, the grant request did not read 'Give us wads of cash we want to know why shit happens'. It was probably entitled 'Consequential sequencing and causality of instantialisation of newtonian manifestations of macro ecleudian space organised and unorganised clusters.' However, that does not change the fundamental principles of Science.
One can only determine that Suff happens after following a rigorous process.

And so, one of the founding principles of Science is the Scientific Method.

This is a fundamental process to secure future grants and as a happy happenstance, gives credible science (ie: that bastard Singh from the subatomic Lab on the second flow can perch and rotate on his centrifuge, there are no holes in my damn theory)

There are five basic principles to the Scientific method.
1. Read the current government policy to discover the 'ideology du jour' of the current administration.
2. Think of an idea that will make the goverment bureaucrats look good.
3. Make a dinner appointment with the chair of the grants committee.
4. Whereupon the grant is secured by judicious application of tongue applied to various orfices of the said bureaucrat (I was thinking ears you filthy pig).
5. Hire an attractive postgrad assistant.

This methodology has served the Science world very well so far having brough us such wonderful, civiliation advancing boons like nerve gas, thermonuclear explosive device, and biological weapons.

However, to make this process more understood and transparent for the person on the street (known in the science language as 'the specimen' or 'subject') this complex process had to be made more understood.
Therefore, what follows is the more accessible version of the 'Scientific Method'.

1. From observation of stuff, figure out the nature of stuff that looks interesting (and can be gotten a grant for). Ie: Ask a question to identify a problem.
Eg: Can we make this bug eat the face of the enemy soldiers and civilians alike.

2. Take a guess to explain what is happening. The guess should be predicive.
Eg: The bug is eating everyons face. How can we educate it to eat the faces of evil people only. Will it work better if we paint the subjects face off-white (for it is widely recognised that most evil people have skin that is not pristine white, like the good lord intended).

3. Develop one or more hypotheses, or more guesses, to explain this phenomenon.
Eg: Clearly the bug is misguided and needs to be given an incentive to show the correct consideration for national security. Burn all the fuckers that eat the good citizens (ie:white), cultivate all the bugs that show the correct political bias and eat the evildoer faces.

4. Devise experiments to test the hypotheses.
Eg: Invite Singh from the Subatomic lab on the second floor and ask him to smell the new artificial 'flavour enhancer' just discovered.

5. Analyze the experimental results and determine to what degree do the results fit the predictions of the hypothesis. Ie: There is now a larger lab available on the second floor where the Subatomic lab used to be since Singh went missing.
Further modify and repeat the experiments. Ie: Wash, rinse, repeat.

The last step is to call the Homeworld defence tzar or whoever has funded our advancement of human ideals and inform them that our job is done.

Of course the above scenario is satirical.
In the real world, no scientist would ever consider making something that would threaten the survival of the human species itself. Not unless there was a good reason for it like the obliteration of our mortal, perpetual and irredimable enemy, the next grant, or an opportunity to hire a cute postgrad.

I am unfairly biting to the Science world. Had it not been for them, we would not have cool stuff like the Internet, iPods and recreational chemicals.
But hey, you guys, sometimes you are so smart you are st00pid.
To sex up Science, all you have to do is to make the post grads wear frilly costumes instead of those boring white coats.
DUH! [Forehead slap]

DEMO-KRETINACY

2005-08-08T21:49:00.000-07:00

The running stand up comedy festival that is our legislature is now in session.
The politicians have all come back from their tax payer funded fact finding trips to Paris, London and Hawaii. Refreshed and ready to apportion our nations wealth in a just and judicious manner and make wise legislation to make our nation strong, prosperous and uphold democracy. No really. Thats what we are told their job is.

By text book definition, a democracy is a system of power where the citizenry (as in 'we the people') hold the power. Naturally, we are all too busy eking out survival wages to take too much interest in unimportant decisions like how much more money we will be asked to spend on things we did not ask for. So, we chose to delegate that power to our elected officials. The idea being, if we do not like being the most taxed civilised nation, we can do something about it.
In return we get nice things like the assurances that we will not be shot in the head by the security organs, receive the right to a fair trial when accused of a crime. Minor policy decisions like going to war would be done after a due legal process and for just reasons.

In the unlikely scenario in another universe where all those things would come to pass and democracy would be in peril, democracy's protectors would step forth. The journalists of the mass media would rally to argue for the truth.
The opposition parties in the legislature, would act to protects our basic human and democratic rights.

As I am writing this, our Australian senate has just had its right to question the government curtailed. A basic tenant of Democracy. Transparency and accountability have been diminished. I for one, trust the current government not to abuse that power. Its record speaks for itself. Therefore there is no need for its decisions to be questioned. I for one, welcome our new Liberal overlords.

We may rest assured though, that if everything else fails there is a way out.
A failsafe inherent in the system of Democracy.
The 'electorate' will vote the disqualified out of power.
Sadly, this does not work too well in practice.
One hundred years ago Gustave LeBon said in his book The Crowd, "In the collective mind the intellectual aptitudes of individuals...are weakened. ...The decisions made by an assembly of men of distinction...are not sensibly superior to the decisions that would be adopted by a gathering of imbeciles.".
In essence saying, a mass of highly intelligent people generally make decisions akin to a huge mentally retarded animal.

It may well be, that our idea of what Democracy is, does not actually mean when we think it means. As in, "...That word, 'Democracy' you keep using, I do not think it means what you think it means." Hugo Chavez, a Democratically elected president of Venezuela has been recently thought of very badly by the US.
What is his sin? This cardinal 'Evildoer of the day'?
He used the oil wealth of his country to help the poor.
Evil, pure and simple.
In the words of one US official, 'His concept of Democracy is at odds with the prevailing understanding of what democracy is.'

Naturally, being democratically elected means little. Some people in the past, recent and distant have been democratically elected. I shall refrain from the mentioning the names least my rethoric be defeated by the virtue of Godwins law. True in the eyes of some, democratic elections mean little given that some consider the politicians can simply be be bought (or at least leased) by vested interest or outright steal the election.

Still, most people believe that the notion of having our bags randomly searched in public transit is what makes us free.
"Our forefathers chose to die in wars past to preserve our freedoms. We choose to die of fright to lose our freedoms.". Biographer, take not of this, its an imminently quotable Wulfism.

Our government is going to convene shortly to come up with more measures to preserve our basic human right of being alive. The position they take is that certain freedoms must be sacrificed to preserve our democracy. I think this is an excellent idea.
Worth immortalising for the future generation on a monument (or a tombstone) of Democracy. Something along the lines of "Making you less free to keep you free."

I restate, we must have faith in the system.
It has proved over and over again that it can be trusted.
It has never deceived us.
Is has never made mistakes.
Under the new anti-terrorism laws we will be safer.

Innocent people have nothing to fear from living in a 'freedom managed' (like that euphemism?) system.
Unless of course, you are running late for a train and do not stop when the police shout at you to stop. Why would you stop? You know you are innocent, they can't be shouting at you.
*BANG*
*BANG*
*BANG*
*BANG*
*BANG*
*BANG*
*BANG*

THE FLAWLESS JOB INTERVIEW

2005-07-25T23:44:00.000-07:00

Recently I have found myself in a position where I am whoring my body for financial gain. A practice made acceptable by the euphemism 'Looking for employment'. I am researching this subject to accelerate my re-entry into the ranks of the living. This artform as far as can establish at this early stage in my downwardly mobile lifestyle involves assurances of the mastery of basic personal hygene coupled with evidence of ability to not pilfer office stationary supplies nor make the people presently employed there look like the incompetent unemployables that they really are.

To this end, I have prepared an interview script that is sure to garner me the recognition I so deeply deserve.

Q: Why did you decide to apply for this position?

Principally because though I have made a concerted effort to develop a liking for Home Brand cat food and stale bread from the supermarket dumpster my stomach is trying to assasinate me by the means of foul regurgitation at the meal times.

Q: What are your strengths and weaknesses?

My strenghts are an as follows; exemplary ability to bullshit. I rock at doing jack shit whilst looking extremely productive. I can knock off 3 cones of weed and a pint of beer at lunchtime and you would not be able to tell at the after lunch meeting. As to my weaknesses, I'd be a dumb shit if I tell you, would't I? Even assuming I tell you enough bullshit for you to give me this piss ant job, you will use that information against me as soon as you possibly can to make yourself look good/cover your own fuckup.

Q: How are you qualified for this position?

Right. For you to ask me this question shows that like everyone else, you do not believe a word I have written on my Resume. Well, to cut a long story short, I can roll a mean joint, have the ability to procure consumer quantities of recreational drugs without being arrested, hotwire a car and bed a chick on the first date. In case these important and in my view cruicial criteria do not convince you of my suitability for this as you call it, position, I have other commercial skills.
Amongst these I count the ability to use creative accounting to cover unauthorised financial transactions, an uncanny ability to use office gossip to build my power base as well as use my links to the criminal underworld to cover the few office scenarios where my wit and skills fail and I need to cause grevious bodily harm to my cow-orkers or hide bodies.

Q: How would you describe your leadership style?

I let my previous accomplishments speak for themselves. Around my neck, I wear a necklace of dried earlobes of my previous cow-orkers who have crossed me in the past. Let it not be said though that I am an unreasonable man! Examine each earlobe. See? Each earlobe has a bite mark missing. You get one fair warning!
Just do as I say and you will be fine mate!

Q: How would you rate your communication skills?

Though my throat is full of bile as I try not to vomit looking at your repulsive, remedial education spawned face, I am able to maintain a superior smirk. A sign of my vastly superior intellect and a self control.
Specifically, I inspire obedience and submission in subordinates and the laughably termed 'superiors' with communicating my intention to cause grevious bodily harm. Though usually this is not necessary since I make thinly veiled allusions to revealing their deep personal secrets I acquire via a sophisicated personal intelligence network of cameras, microphones and personal observation after hours.

Q: What appeals to you about this position?

The receptionist. Big arse and big boobs. Yeah, I wanna do her. Sweet piece of arse.
Also, I recon I can lie low here for a couple of weeks until they stop looking for me after I umm... quit my last job.

Q: Why did you leave your previous employment?

Next question please.

Q: Do you plan to continue your education?

Yeah, sure. There are still some positions I havn't tried. Must get that special seat with the suspension rig. I also hear most drugs can be made legal by subtly altering their molecular structure. You have a chemistry R&D department don't you?

Q: What motivates you?

Large, heavy to lift sacks of unserialised bank notes.
Expectation of exotic sexual favours.
Also, if I can make my cow-orkers look like the clowns they really are, I will go that extra mile out of my way.

Q: Where do you see yourself in a years time?

Doing your job. I can tell just looking at you that you're not going to last a round against me of a friendly discussion we are going to have in the stationary store room.

Q: What experience did you have in using computers?

I know porn sites that would singe your store-room's staff eyebrows.
I know how to fake email so it looks like it came from someone else and I can hack your accounting system. I can also break a computer with a paper clip so I can get it upgraded before the next 10 year cycle.

Q: Describe a situation that put you under preassure, how did you respond?

I'm frosty man!
Nothing stresses me out. I cause stress in others.

Q: Describe how you prioritise assignments?

Well, the first step is to determine where I can gain most whilst doing the least.
If I have to do anything that can be generously termed 'work'. I push it onto my dumber cow-orkers. Second priority is whether any gains can be deposited into an offshore account. Third, is whether any wetwork is necessary.
I tend to delegate that because blood is shit hard to get out of clothing.

Q: Why do you think this firm should entrust you with this position?

Lets face it, you do not have much choice.
Relax man, what I mean is, no one would really want to work in this dead end, mind numbing, shit shoveling job. Would they? Not given the starvation wage you pay, the exploitative conditions and the depressive compulsive obsessive bastards working here.

Q: What are your three favourite books?

The white pages. Because its so versitile.
The horse racing almanach. Can't make a bet without it.
My little black book, it has served me well to remind me of people I need to sort out.

DISCLAIMER: The above is all fiction. I have never attended a job interview nor do I ever intend attending one. In fact, I have never worked. This is true. I may not even exist though that may be just a figment of my own imagination.

THE SAFE HOUSE

2005-07-22T05:07:00.000-07:00

Once upon the time there lived farmer Jim.
Farmer Jim was a simple man. He knew simple things but he knew them well.
He knew how to farm, so he farmed and he had cows and sheep and chickens and he never went hungry.
He knew how to make hides and leather, and so he had made clothing and he never went cold.
He knew how to work wood so he had build a large wooden house with windows of glass and golden straw roof and a tall chimney.
Farmer Jim was very proud of his farm. Most of all, farmer Jim was proud of his house. It was large and safe.
When people passed by they said, look at that great house that farmer Jim build.
Farmer Jim was very happy.

Then one day things have changed.
A fox came and ate his best chickens.
This was bad. Farmer Jim had to do something to stop the Fox.
There was no more wood around because all the wood around was used up to build a house. True, there was a forest over yonder. But farmer Jim feared that if he were to ride that far, he would not get back before sundown and then the fox would get the rest of the chickens.

Farmer Jim was a simple man but he was a practical man.
He ripped out all the boards from the veranda and build a palisade fence around the chicken coop. This was a good thing, because it was only a small inconvinience and things would be more secure. Now the fox would not come for there were sharp spikes close together all around the chicken coop.

Farmer Jim was safe because he had a nice house and the chickens were safe too.

The next night farmer Jim heard terrible screams.
When he run into the night brandishing a fork, he saw many dark shadows.
There was a smell of death in the air.
Farmer Jim was a stout man but he was a sensible man too.
He went back into the safe house to wait till the sunlight chased the shadows away.
The light of the morning shone upon the farm but it was strangely silent.
Many creatures were dead.
Wolves had got inside the barn and ate his horse and his best cows.
This was very bad. Farmer Jim dragged the left over carcasses and burried them behind the barn.

Farmer Jim had a few cows and sheep left still and he was resolute that no more wolves would harm his animals. He took the windowpanes from the house and placed them in the simple windows of the barn. He took the boards from the roof of the now floor-less veranda and boarded up all the gaps in the big barns. Then he took the boards from the roof over the kitchen and boarded up the big barn doors.
This was a good thing, because it was only a small inconvinience and things would be more secure. Now the wolves would not get inside the barn.

Farmer Jim was very proud. His animals were now secure.
The wolves and foxes came at night but could not touch the animals.
Then one night, when farmer Jim all but forgot about the foxes and wolves there was ruckus behind the barn. When farmer Jim came out from his somewhat safe house, he saw a sight that made him clasp the fork he held with the iron grip of a man who sees death itself. There behind the barn there was a fierce brown bear. Tall as a house, with maw lined with big white teeth like nails that glowed in the night like the bones of the dead. The bear tore open the pit where farmer Jim burried the remains of animals the wolves killed. Whats worse, the bear made a big gashes, slash slash into the walls of the barn. Stout thought the barn was, it would not stand against the bears attention. Farmer Jim screamed at the bear. Farmer Jim would later retell this story and in the story the shout would be a fierce shout. But truth be told, it was a scream of fear. Though farmer Jim had the wits about him to throw the oil burning storm lamp he held at the bear. Burning oil scattered and orange flames danced about like summoned guards. The bear roared in annoyance and lumbered off into the night.
Farmer Jim once again triupmhed.

Farmer Jim was growing smarter now. The menace of the fierce creatures terrorising his safe farm had to stop. Fire worked well so farmer Jim resolved to stand guard at night with a fire burning to scatter the fierce animals. Farmer Jim stood guard.
Night after night fires burned and every creature was safe.
When wood for the stove run out, farmer Jim took one look at the wooden house.
It was not much to look at, the veranda was torn down, the roof half gone and windows stared back at him like the empty sockets of a skull.
It did not take long for farmer Jim to resolve to use what else he could of the wood remaining in the house for the guard fires keeping the animals for terrorising him and his animals. This was for the greater good and the safety of all.
Farmer Jim was safe.
Every night he sat in the warm orange glow of the planks of his safe house.

Soon, winter came and brought with it cold winds and rain that fell like a river from the sky. The safe house was no more. Farmer Jim grew ill for lack of shelter and had to go to the monastery over the river where kindly nuns nursed him to health.
When farmer Jim came back, the animals were gone. Thieves and fierce creatures took apart what was left of his farm.

Farmer Jim still tells this story. You can buy it for a jug of mead at the inn in town. For mead and memories are the only things that farmer Jim has now.
Memories of the safe house he had and how much safer he had made it to stop the terror.

FOR THE KING AND COUNTRY!

2005-07-11T04:01:00.001-07:00

It is said that the world will end with a whimper not a bang. Sadly for fifty plus Londoners, their world had ended with a bang. Many more are injured, facing what for some may be devastating future, lifelong debilitating injuries.

There are those who will scream for more blood. Vengeful lashing out at anyone at other end of a video game sanitised destruction. A minute long bleep of destruction wiping out lives innocent or not in a land that most of us can not locate on a map. Packaged in patriotic colors, blood stirring music and glorious and just narrative. Squeezed in between the shampoo commercial that will fix your low self esteem and the gladiatorial games results.

I am uplifted by those, especially those of religious community who are advocating addressing the root causes of the violence. Initially I was heartened by Tony Blair, and our own wannabee leader, the Honourable Mr Costello saying those very words.
Problem can only be solved by addressing the roots. I was never yet let down by a politicians ability to dissapoint me and once again, on this occasion they came through with flying colors. The way to address the problem is to inflict democracy on the regimes. Little heed is given to the fact that the idea of democracy is an alien notion to these nations. The tribal and religious goverments will resist the imposition of democracy with the fervor that us, Westerners would resist Communism.
Much less the fact that to the outsiders we look extremely shaky lauding the benefits of democracy while actively supporting dictators like Sharif in Pakistan and the monarchy in Saudi Arabia.
Our credibility about the goverment by the people for the people looks laughable given facts like the 800 million in campaign donations by the drug industry in the US.

Blair and Costello talking about addressing the root of the problem is simply a codeword for more destruction and death in the name of our belief system. Our holy war, our own jihaad. We shall bring the holy flag of Democracy to others, even if we have to pin their still twitching body to the ground with it. For in the word of George W. Bush (never would think I would quote the man) 'Democracies do not make wars on their neigbours'. At the same time as the US and its 'coalition' is spending untold billions of hospital, infrastructure and education expenses on a wasteful war.

President Bush was positively gleeful after the explosions saying 'War on Terror goes on'. The man who asked 'Bring it on' and got it in spades could not be happier if he planned the explosion himself. A fanciful notion that some of the less cautious commentators have already picked up alleging a false flag attack. What better way to lift his sagging public opinion and diverting media attention (wait, what attention) from this smoking gun.

I am relieved that my friend M. who lives in London has escaped injury and the death toll was relatively low. I have a vague feeling of uneasy hearing proclamation of politicians, the queen included urging the massess to 'Show the terrorists we will not be cowered'. Urging the frontline charge of the bloody mass of humanity onto the railway stations that have become the frontlines of this 'Terror war'. 'We will show them how resilient we are.'. Brave words indeed spoken from behind a multi million dollar security cordon. Somehow I do not think the Queen nor Blair will be seen in the transit system any day soon.

I have hoped I will never see the madness we, the people have seen in WWI where waves of humanity were thrown into the meatgrinder of artillery and machine guns for the sake of ideology. Once again we see those who have chosen to go to war above and beyond other solutions hide behind the flag and walls of citadels whilst sending the people to the frontlines. Trully the history had show that we are bound to repeat it. The people of London will not be exploited by these cheap theatrics. They are no braver and no more cowardly than any other people under fire. The people of Dresden, Warsaw, Hiroshima and Tokyo have all lifted themself from the charred husks of their cities with equal determination. They get up and go not because of pandering words from the politicians by because there is no other option. The trains will be ridden not because of hollow patriotism but because bills have to be paid and to lie down is to die.

Already some of the solutions suggested to prevent future bombings are continuous email and phone monitoring. More surveilance will bring more security. More war will bring more peace. More fornication will bring less pregnancies.

Are we winning this war on terror when $253.43 in explosives and timers strikes unanounced in the heart of a military multibillion dollar giant? Note to intelligence agencies, if the dollar figure happens to be right, for the love of god, don't haul me in as 'an enemy combatant' its just a guess.

Is it perhaps too premature to start thinking that this 'War on Terror' might be the last where the military was used. Can war be peace? A perfect enemy that is, the terrorist. An enemy that can never be defeated. For as long as there is one man who wills us ill out there, we have a legitimate enemy. Each bomb that we drop that blows up 'enemy compound' and 'terrorist safehouse' cuts off one head of the hydra beast and in its place sprout two more. Like a legendary beast, each strike caues more enemies not less. Those who witnessing the death and destruction that we have wrought in the name of our idea of what is right can not help but be moved to hatered.
The same emotions flowing through the veins of Londoners wiping the remains of their brethern off the walls. Violence begets violence.

We can never defeat them with weapons of destruction. We can defeat them with intelligence. Intelligence which is more than ephemism for new brand of chains not wrought from iron but woven from fiberoptics and copper of communication circuits.

Let us focus on the good that might come out of the tragedy.
More people might wake up and realise that this war, like all the wars before it is causing the rich to grow richer and the poor to be chewed up and spat out by the beast of ideology of either side.
We are but chesspieces and we are not even sure when the rules of the game changed.

JUST TENSE.

2005-07-05T00:08:00.000-07:00

I have written two pieces that follow this post. Both, a fiction from twenty years in the future. One future the world as I would like to see develop, lifting humanity way above the binds of gravity. The other world, one I am anxious we might see if we succumb to fear. In reality, we shall see a mixture of both, of this I have no doubt. Wonderful advancements in technology and human spirt, together with abominations thrust upon us that only come from the will of some men to enslave others for their ideology du-jour.

Speaking of JUST.
The poor girl Chapelle Corby our media keeps referring to as 'a convicted drug smuggler' is due for the Indonesia Supreme Court Re-trial. As an aside, the media might as well call her 'The Supreme queen of Venus and inner solar system'. Both terms hold as much validity but the latter will make her feel good about herself rather than feeling like a condemned criminal. However, we must have faith in the Indonesian Court system. When oiled properly, the wheels of justice turn well.
Just how well is evidenced by the case of Tommys Sahatos (the son of ex ruler of Indonesia) receiving the grand total of 2 years in Jail for ordering the murder of a Supreme Court judge. (Reference).

So lets not hear a word about how biased and unjust Indonesian legal system is.

Ordering a murder of a Supreme Court judge penalty: 2 years in jail where one keeps tropical fish in ones cell and has food delivered by Jetboat from the mainland.

On the other hand smuggling drugs in the wrong direction, into the country which exports drugs,(Ie: Smuggling Ice to the Antartic), 20 years in a roach infested cell.

Its time to stop pretending that Corby is going to get a fair trail.
In the wise words of our Prime Minister Mr. Howard.
"We must let the legal processes of the country take place."
Stop this charade, pay $20,000 and Chapelle will get out of the jail with an apology.

The Government knows the legal system in Indonesia is corrupt, Indonesians know their system is corrupt. Everyone knows that the way to do business in Indonesia is to pay bribes. Lets get Chapelle free and pay up.

TENSE: FUTURE NOIR

2005-07-02T21:46:00.000-07:00

Dateline: The 1st July 2025.

For Freedom!
Attention Civilians!
This is Colonel John Veritas with another hourly missive from the Communication and Justice Office of the Free Provisional Governing Corporation. On the hour, every hour with the information you know you need to obey.

Before the bulletins, our usual notices:
The following cities are declared temporary terrorist heavens with the necessary and short suspension of civil liberties, For Freedom. [HTTP Error: Link list too long for format].

The Asian and North american fallout cloud patterns are minimal but be advised to carry a NBC suit with your civilian uniform in a case of rain.

Now to glorious news:
For Freedom!

Our heroic defenders of freedom are facing decreasing resistance from the terrorists, freedom hating evildoers on all fronts. Your support is necessary and will be noted.

Food rationing for Victory!
Our freedom fighters in the field need your help. The usual protein block ration has been reduced by 20% to all non-essential civilians with changes extending to previously quaranteened families of combat personel. Global resource allocator Tsar Ron Wolfen said in his weekly speech to the freedom assembly; "The enemies of freedom are all around us, they need not carry a gun. Our heroic defenders of freedom need bullets. But they also need food. Each extra protein bar can be used to either make you fat, or it can be used to carry our hero through to another day. So look into the mirror, you may be doing the enemies work each time you eat food that our heroes might use better! These new changes ensure more food where it counts, at the fronts of freedom rather than your fat backsides! For Freedom!".
This pronouncement was greeted enthusiastically by the assembled freedom delegates with applause, cheers and stamping of feet.
The announcement was followed by a spontaneous rally outside of the Freedom chambers by the Elderly. The Elderly seniors brought their surplus protein bars to give to our boys and girls at the fronts. The words from Sam Smithfield one of the civilians gathered are typical of the sentiments of the elderly "We dont need to eat as much. All I do is weave parachutes for air drops, anyone can do that. I dont need to be fat for that. Our Heroic freedom defenders can have my protein bar! For Freedom!"

The European freedom front is pushing the forces of Old europe back. With every airstrike the enemy is cowering and running. The cowardly evildoers are using women and children to defend the military installations masked as civilian installations. This deception does not fool our heroes. Such tactics are expected by our freedom defenders and had failed it the past. The enemy compounds turned to smoking ruin in Sudan, Alabama, Great Britain, Ohio, Indonesia, Minessota, New South Wales, all battlefields that will resound with the cries of our victorious freedom defenders.
For Freedom!

The success of the South American freedom front is now assured. Our forces are myriad and are no longer needed to retake the area since The Chief declared the Southerners to be beyond freedom. Humane nuclear tactical bombing has decapitated the freedom haters ability to terrorise the freedom loving people of the world. Our glorious freedom defenders can now reinforce the other fronts where fight for freedom must prevail.

The squinty eyed evildoers have lauched another space missile to reinforce their military space fortification. This is the last outpost in orbit of the enemies of freedom. With this last line of offence in space, the Chinese imperialist freedom haters have been barely able to inflict any casualties on the ground. The introduction of our victory weapon 'Red Freedom Rocket' human guided hero missiles our heroic pilots of the Coalition freedom airfoce can now crash into any missile lifting from China. Volunteers are far in excess of available vehicles. Another example of how the will of the people of the free world will triumph over evildoers! For Freedom!

The Siberian campaign is going to plan with our Coalition freedom forces strategicaly tying down large freedom hater armies in the snow and ice of far east. The old europe, held in an iron grasp by our might freedom fighters will soon crack its thin brittle outer shell exposing its rotten evil core.

The Email home program from all the fronts is temporarily suspended as many enemy infiltrators have been sending false messages to deceive folks back home. Civilians are reminded that forwarding any such false message by email or word of mouth consititutes a crime against national security.

The freedom camps are a popular destination to all civilians. If you are not currently working in an armament factory, mine or a recycling center you are urged to report to your nearest Justice officer to volunteer to become an active Freedom loving civilian. Freedom camps are a way for civilians to demonstrate their commitment to freedom. Roads must be repaired, glasshouses decontaminated, terrorist corpses cleaned up. Are you a freedom loving civilian or a terrorist? Demonstrate your commitment. You are either with us or against us!
For Freedom!

Please be advised. Because of the increased infiltration of our cities by the evildoer terrorists our Justice offciers have been authorised to shoot on sight at any civilian who is carrying a package or wearing bulky clothing.
Pregnant women are advised to stay indoors for freedoms sake and theirs.

House to house checks by our Freedom Militia continue with enemy combatants being uncovered in every block. Our justice is meted out swiftly. Freedom loving people of the coalition will not tolerate any dissent. Please be advised that if freedom militia has not visited your assigned quarters it is not to late to destroy any materials you might have from the old terror loving days. Books, DVDs and Data media might all mark you as a terrorist or freedom hater.
Remember: "Empty mind is a safe mind!"

Lastly, be on the lookout for any suspicious freedom hating activity.
Report any of these freedom hating acts to your nearest Justice officer or Freedom Militia.
* Three or more people gathered in a group conversation.
* People using freedom hating language (Reminiscing pre-terror war, complaining, speaking out against freedom)
* Reading, viewing or possesion of pre-terror war information materials.
* Owning a copying device (Scanner, printer, pre-terror war computer).

For Freedom!

Stay vigilant civilian!
You are either with us or against us!
Return to your assigned task.

[Click here to affirm your commitment to freedom]

TENSE: FUTURE PERFECT

2005-06-30T20:14:00.000-07:00

Dateline: The 1st July 2025.

Salutations sisters and brothers.
This is Rainbow Salam with another hourly bulletin from the GBN the global blogg network. On the hour, every hour with the news you know you can trust.

Today marks an auspicious occasion. The European Union enlargement incorporating as full fledged members the republics of Latvia, Lithuania, Belorus and Ukraine. This marks the completion of the European unity with the entire continental Europe united.
The European union recevied a shaky start, with many questioning over twenty years ago the feasibiliy of such a union. The prosperity and economic growth convinced even the most ardent critics of the benefit of staying the course.

In other news, the space elevator in the Equtorial Congo is nearing completion. Funded in its entirety by African Union investors, the ACE (African Central Elevator) is the first of such installation to come online. Industry analysts predict that with the commisioning of the new orbital lift facility, space industry is going to boom.
Virgin Galactic shares have plummeted as the result of the predicted fall in space vehicle demand.

In related news, the Australian Space Agency is expected to purchase a fleet of Virgin Galactic liners with the view of upgrading the transportation system to its long neglected Outback colonies on the Moon. The Australian PM, Greens Mr. Brown was apologetic for the late upgrade saying only that with the decreased tax base and the burden on the reparations for the original landowners imposed by the UN, luxuries like regular bus connections to the outlying moon colonies needed to wait.
The Minorty liberal party leader Senator Colon immediately made the claim that this financial incompetence is so typical of the past ten years of Green government. He further went on to say that Australia had become a heaven for global cappucino drinking socialists and the true blue dinkum spirit is now dead. This view was largely dismissed by most moderates, with the leader of the New National party leader speaking from her algea farm in Mare Imbrum colony saying that the upgrade was a necessary to maintain the standard of living in the remote Australian areas. Further commenting that if neglected the colonists might start talk of independece.

Fears of Data storm has been put to rest with the introduction of a new data discriminators. For the past two years, media doyens have been predicting a catastrophic event in the data saturation degrading the usability of the net to pre 2010 levels. Such a performance hit was predicted to cause catastrophic economic failure of the information based economies of today. The new Data Discriminators feature self contained artificial intelligence software borne from the alliance of human technology with the nascent Californian Silicon Distributed Intelligence (CASSI). A result of the United Nations granting nation/person status to CASSI have pushed aside the last obstacles in utilising AI (aritifical intelligence) software in every day devices. Civil libertarians have already raised the spectre of exploitation but many commentators dissmiss such claims on the grounds that CASSI will evolve past our sphere of interaction. Certainly the latter analysis seems correct given that volume of new patents lodged by CASSI which is approaching asymptotic.

Student strikes in North American Union have been ended. The Strikes started when the Northam Union senate passed the long floundering bill mandating compulsory Univeristy Education. The leader of the conservative Republican party Senator Hassan Al Faruk was quated to say; 'In this day and age the Northam alliance can not afford the youth of today not to be educated if we are to maintain the competative edge against the CASSI and other mechanicals'.

Rumours persist of the Mars colony separatists gaining popular support. The Mars colony, established barely 15 years ago is booming with cream of the Earth industry, science and adventure seekers taking up the attractive incentives. Tsolkovski City, the Capital of Mars colony is a hive of activity with gross national product exceeding 200 billion Euros. Far in excess of the the combined industrial output of NAU and EU. Traditionaly stoic legislatures of NAU and EU have become uncharacteristically beligerent in their posture. If the Mars colony does indeed become independant as many see as fate accompli, the European and American unions will lose a sizable revenue base. The United Nations is expected to mitigate heavily the approaching dispute. Secretary General of UN, Sara Stanford has gone on record stating full UN involvement in the process at the same time assuring the public that UN inspectors found no evidence of Mars Space armaments as was alleged by some NAU comentators.

The leader of NAU terroris cell "The Alamo" has been arrested and is expected to be subjected to an extended councelling and therapy stay at the Guantanamo bay sanitorium. Guantanomo Bay sanitorium, build on the site of the infamous camp from the Terror wars by apologatic US public was due to be closed down due to a marked decrease in radical terrorist groups. Terrorism was largely pushed onto the back pages in the last decade by addressing the poverty, the root cause of discontent.
In addition the military industry profiting from perpetuating the conflict and fear has been refocused on the immensly more profitable space colonisation. In this changed landscape, the few remaining terrorist groups have been dying off due to lack of support.

In business news, shares of Ambrosia pharmaceuticals, the monopoly maker of life extending drug Ambrosia have split for the 10th time, making it the largest ever capitalised firm. Ambrosia, though expensive is purchased in bulk quantities by most governments after the Age abolition riots of the 2010.

The Macrosoft investement fund has once again been indicted on charges of tax evation, fraud and crimes against humanity. Though expected to be successful, the case is expected to drag on for ten years or so. Macrosoft is expected to use its previously successful method of long trials to mitigate the outcome in its favour.

Han Co., the global Chinese manufacturing megalith corporation has declared another successful year, riding on the back of another eco-upgrade to all household and transport appliances. The revenue is expected to be distributed to the shareholders, sparking financial markets fears of renewed global inflationary preassures.

Peace, Love, Profit and Happiness brothers and Sisters.

[Update]

ONCE A CONVICT, ALWAYS A CONVICT.

2005-06-07T05:15:00.000-07:00

Our proud heritage in Australia is the fact that our forefathers were convicts. Prisoners of his/her majesty who were (inevitably) unjustly imprisoned. Forgivable crimes such as stealing bread from market stalls to feed the family. Naturaly, anyone stealing food from the multinational supermarket stalls today to feed the family is a filthy parasite that deserves all the jail time the judges righteously met out.

The notion that alienating offenders by placing them into a carefuly designed cauldron of barbarism, tribal hierarchy and forced brutal homosexual sex somehow makes the criminals more adjusted to living exemplary lives is something only a delusional mind can birth.
But hey, what do I care, we hide our garbage in big mountains and cover them with dirt out of our sight. Why should we treat the broken down people of our civilisation any differently. In short, if we hide it, the problem will go away.

This mentality of jailer and the jailed pervades our community still.

And so, some recent examples.

An Australian citizen, Shapelle Corby is jailed for drug smuggling.
Now, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that the poor girl is innocent.
Here are my reasons why;

a) Security flaws in Australia airports.
A secret Australian Customs Service report, completed last September, found that some Sydney airport workers had been involved in drug smuggling. This has been widely publicised in Australian press. This also forms the basis of Corbys defence. That someone else (at the airport) placed the drugs in her bag, and forgot or missed taking them out on her last leg in Australia.

b) Flaw in flow direction.
No one, even a silly girl like Shapelle smuggles drugs INTO Indonesia.
At the same time 9 Australians are caught smuggling drugs OUT of Indonesia to Australia, she smuggles INTO Indonesia? For all the heavy penalties Indonesia seems to have more Drugs abvailable than Sydney's Kings Cross on a Saturday night.

c) Corruption.
Indonesia is at the very top of the corruption ladder in the world International anti-corruption organisation ranks Indonesia just past Haiti,Nigeria,Chad and Azerbajan who take the top billing.
Someone did not pay somebody enough. This is likely the reason why Shapelle is rotting in jail.

d) Judiciary.
The Indonesian kangaroo court judge proudly boasted that in 800 cases he tried not once did he judge the defendant innocent. In an imperfect civilised legal system like Australia, a small percentage of accused would be found innocent. Not so in Indonesia, the avatar of human rights and robust legal system (see point c).
Shapelle was found guilty long before a word was said in court by her defence.
Found guilty by the reputation of the judge who would rather see an innocent womans life ruined, than have his reputation as a hanging judge ruined. Shame.

e) Evidence and process.
Shapelle was found guilty of the drugs being in her luggage. As the commentators say, the court was not interested how they got there. There were no fingerprints taken off the plastic bag the drugs were in. The evidence was destroyed. Fundamental ommisions in collecting evidence. Apparently our aid to Indonesia stops at political counterinsurgency and does not extend to criminal investigation evidence collection.

What is the response of the Australian government to this abuse of its citizen?
Furious diplomatic protests? Flocks of government legal eagles rushing to her rescue? Threats of curtailing of the bullets shippments, sorry, 'military co-operation' Indonesia uses to stifle its separatist movements. Not so! The Australian government's solution is to negotiate a prisoner exchange scheme.
I am sure Shapelle will feel wonderful rotting in jail for 20 years on a joke charge. Serving time in the same jail with those on 4 year sentences for manslaughter.
God forbid in the future an Australian faces a death penalty in Saudi Arabia.
Our governments solution will be to negotiate a supply of a sharper blade so that the Australian dies quickly and as painlessly as possible.

This abuse by the Indonesian so called justice (HA!) system is made even more painful after all the outpouring of aid after the tsunami. It is important point to consider. We send billions of dollars in aid when hundreds of thousands of its citizens were in need. When one of Australian citizens is in need, we get blowback, 'national pride' and distaint for basic human rights.

There is of course precedent for this disregard by our government of personal liberties.

Steven Hicks, an alleged 'enemy combatant' (Whatever the hell that means) being kept in a US concentration camp for over 3 years, without a trial, in clear violation of a number of international agreements. With the full consent and blessing of the Australian government. Hick, by all accounts would not have been able to be charged with any crime in Australia. Still, he rots in jail because being the US 'Pacific region Sheriff' is more important to the Australian government than personal freedom of some peasant citizen.

A series of 'detention centers' (qv prisons, qv concentration camps) are set up through out Australia where refugee (called here 'illegal immigrants') men, women and children are kept in idefinite custody. Yes folks, in Australia we keep babies in jail. The paradox is that most of them are from Afganistan, Iraq and Iran. The very same countries where we have military saving us from the terrorists. On one hand, they are here 'illegaly' and can return to their safe home. On the other, we fight bad people in their homeland. Solution to the paradox? Jail them (hide them out of the way) qv (Pacific Solution).

It is time for the people who purport to defend freedom of its people in this great country to actualy look up the definition of the world 'freedom'. Allowing its citizens to rot in foreign jails and allowing those who seek our protecition to rot in our jails for the sake of shallow diplomatic ends is a violation of the charter of human rights, common decency and it is certainly not fair dinkum.

It is time for our humanity to shatter the convict shackles that bind our Australian decency.

LOST IN AZAROTH

2005-05-29T19:36:00.000-07:00

The land of Azaroth, where all women have the same breast size (large), elves don't work for Santa and being dead merely means a long walk to your body and a bad hair day.

Seeing as my holiday is longer than originaly intended, I have lost myself in the world of World of Warcraft. A culmination of a ten year saga of games, from a firm called Blizzard entertainment. This latest instalment, is what is called a MMORPG. A "Massively Multiplayer Online RPG (Role Playing Game)".
Think Dungeons&Dragons of the die-nerd-die pencil and paper fame, only this time the game is played using a credit card and a high end computer. The player journeys through a cartoon like universe of surprising depth. As the character grows more powerful, new challenges open, one gets to wear better gear and respect of youre peers and hatered of your enemies grow. Ah yes, the enemies, unlike most games of this ilk, rather than just the computer controlled monsters, there are two player controlled factions. The Alliance, with the capital city of Iron Forge a union of the industrious Humans, The secretive Elves, the stalwart Dwarves and the gadget making Gnomes. In the other corner, under the banner of the Horde green monster orcs, lanky Trolls, despicable undead and honorable, minotaur like Tauren. Both factions so hell bent on destruction of each other that the players can not even communicate with the other faction. A sad state of affairs in my book, for would it not be wonderful if we could set example for the troubled world of today by making peace in game :)

Still, the game is incredible in its complexity and even after 4 months keeps my interest with new content being added all the time.

This is my first end-game character. A Tauren shaman called "Horns". Residing on the realm of STONESPIRE, Horns is now Level 60, the maximum level a character can reach. This opens up new challenges and loot, measures of characters success.
A shaman is a combination of a warrior, healer and a magician, being very average at each discipline, shamans strength is his flexibility and utility to most roles.
In the image above, Horns sits in the throne of the vanquished Emperor of the dark dwarves in the Black Rock Depths and instance. Instances are party specific areas where a small group of travellers venture in the pursuit of treasure and fame.
The only thing standing in the way of their doom is tight communication and cooperation as a team.

This is a second of my most often played characters, a human female rogue by the name of "Buffy" (as in the vampire slayer). Buffy is the one on the left, dressed in a rare leather armor set, standing next to a Warlock succubus pet.
Buffy lives on the alliance side on the SMOLDERTHORN realm. Rogues are sneaky characters who can turn invisible and cause a lot of grief to the foes but can be vulnerable in some circumstances. Though only level 33, I have learned a lot from playing my previous characters so Buffy's equipment and skill is the envy of many.

Interestingly in the hope of finding some real world application of these 'wasteful' skills I have been improving my leadership skills. Finding myself being the defacto leader of many groups and becoming leader or co-leader of guilds where real world scenarios of incompetence, poor interpersonal skills and appaling communications have to be managed to get the team to accomplish one goal.

Interestingly the challenges grow harder as one progresses further into the game. Recently I had the privilidge of going into a 'Molten Core' instance. An euphemism of the maker of the game for hell (to avoid the wrath of the American Taliban fundamentalists). A party of 40 highest level character, everyone on voice communications (using headsets to talk coordinate with voice across the internet) and working with a high degree of professionalism. A trully memorable experience in any ones book. A journey through hell with a professional possey of adventurers.

This is without a doubt the future of interactive entertainment, large, subscription based, non-linear worlds where people can waste their income and creativity interacting with others.

Bread and Circuses indeed.

WARNING: BRAIN DAMAGE CAUSES CONSERVATIVISM.

2005-03-04T15:48:00.000-08:00

No, no, WAIT! This is not my assesment. This has been clearly stated today on Fox News by a conservative 'Fox News contributor'. I can not help but watch my favourite comedy channel. A shocking news 'controversy' in the US is making headlines. Apparently, a teacher was videotaped screaming at children who would not stand to attention whilst the morning national anthem was played. Tempting though it is, I will refrain myself from commenting on the nationalistic fervour of this degree.
A conservative 'Faux News contributor', ie: a raving lunatic, selected from the available pool of raving lunatics by the criteria of being able not to spittle the lens of the camera whilst spouting the fiery 'balancing'. Rhetoric that any where else on the planet would earn them a label of a 'dangerous fanatic'. This balanced and read gentelman was commenting on the degeneration of discipline in schools. Naturaly, this sorry state of affairs has nothing to do with the fact that Education in the US receives 53 billion whilst (eg) defence 400 billion (ref).

Responding to the token 'liberal' comentator his words were (paraphrasing); 'In my days, the boy (refering to the student) would be beaten about the head and that would be the end of the matter.Frankly if that were to happen more often, perhaps there would be less people like you around.
The right wing remedy for the plague of liberalism encroching on the god given right to enslave those less fortunate than yourself is blows to the head.

By redirecting just a small proportion of the education budget to the purchase of adjustment clubs, we will expunge this plague of liberalism from our society. A regular clubbing sessions at preschool level would contain this dangerous trend of unchecked free-thinking. It is so simple when voices in your head tell you the solution!

I know, it does sound hard to believe. What is harder to believe that this lunatic was a returning guest. Treated with respect by the other comentators. Truly, as Murdoch has said, there needs to be balance to the 'liberal' media.

Philosophical point. If one side of the argument, presents facts, does that mean that to balance the fact, one must respond with a fiction?
For to balance to affect a force designed to cause equilibrium.

I for one, welcome our new conservative overlords, having received the pre-requisite amount of blows to the head in my youth.

PUBLIC SERVANTS ATE THE POETS.

2005-03-01T13:52:00.000-08:00

Yes my friends, there is a plot. As insidious as the pod people, the first wave and The War of the worlds combined. Seekrit public servant deathsquads are hunting down the poets in South Australia and while they sleep in their wine induced stupor are murdered in cold blood. Worse yet, some turn into soul-less zombies.

What leads me to make this public asertion, denouncement and disclosure, though it might cost me my life? Aye, a fair question. Last night I have gone to see a local amateur poets reading mob. It was the inducement of cheap wine and whine I guess. Nay, it was the company of T. Or maybe it was the desire to be exposed to something Kulduhral again. Fact is, me senses are reeling. Nay, not from the breath taking beauty of the poetry, but from the... um... err...sheer...urr... officious amateurinesnesnesnes of it all. I have attended corporate meetings that were more relaxed and fun that this sad occasion. More akin to what I imagine a large, self help group like AA or 'Victims of under-the-furniture fluff' sans the medication.

Maybe that is what was missing. Heavy medication. The wine certainly not sufficient to dull the pain. You think I am exaggerating? I got a cramp in the upper right side of my body as if I was doing a Houdini trick.

Still, it WAS fun and I shall allow myself to be inflicted by this mob again.
The exceptions to this miserable time were a couple of poets, a published guest Mr.S whose formal and byzantine verbosities struck a note with me so much so I have purchased his dead-tree edition of scribblings. T's friend J., whose poem 'I hate rock chix' was delivered with passion and humor which was a commodity sorely lacking in this morbid gathering.

The good thing is, I was inspired to write this;

On a matt with Pia

Hush, whisper, murmur, brush.
Peck, caress, smooch, touch.
Slide, shift, pop, zip.
Unclasp, peel, strip, unclip

Smack, mush, peck, smooch
Giggle, gag, nip, ouch!
Shudder, flutter, toss, stamp
Wobble, bump, contortion, cramp

Tremor, rumble, shake, vibrate
Oscillate, undulate, vacillate, palpitate
Sigh, groan, moan, gasp
Roar, Howl, Boom, Blast!

THUNDER, SMASH, EXPLODE... Crash!

Applause!

By Wulfius Khan, Adelaide March 2004,
Copyright violators will be carpet-bombed into stone age.

WAR PORN

2005-02-20T17:45:00.000-08:00

Having cut down my intake of Rupert Murdoch 'liberals eat babies raw' FOX Cable TV to an absolute minimum (ie: Basic package + Docos/News) I am now forced to watch more of the documentaries. Aye, forced. There is a guy that comes with the desktop who looks like his career with a rugby team came to a premature end due to a knee injury and he now has to supplement his income with security work. So, this guy then, eats all the food in my fridge and anytime he catches me not watching the cable, moves his eyebrows in an exaggerated and apparently menacing way patting the bulge under the jacket where his sidearm holster is meant to be. Though for all I know, it may not be a gun holster but one of those portable hip flask containing whisky. Which could explain his sour demeanour and career choice for whisky tastes like rabid cat piss and I am sure has a lot to anwser for the entire British Empire trying to find something drinkable. But I digress... again.

Documentaries like 'Air Crash Investigations' and 'Seismic Seconds' taking a particularly nasty and deadly accident and dissecting (uh... bad choice of words) it into one hour (or more accurately 45 minutes + commercials) of root cause analysis. The ultimate geek show, finding out in excruciating detail exactly what widget went wrong and justifying our belief in what we knew all along.
All bosses are incompetant cheapskates whose ineptitude costs lives.
Because inevitably its someone deciding to maximise investment of the shareholders.

What really starts to irk me though, are these shows about military hardware. Programs like 'Planes that never flew', or 'Build for Destruction' or 'Mega machines' or 'My penis is so tiny that I can not satisfy my wife so I have to drop high explosives on people in some third world country in the arse end of the world so that my friends who hold the shares in the firm that supplies the expensive bombs can make money in a depressed economy and I can retire as a `consultant` when I am too old to hold a pencil to play `hit the evil country du-jour` on the map.'. Or something. No seriously.
For 45 minutes of the camera lingers,sliding up and down the phallic looking piece of machinery that has the sole purpose of converting 'enemy compound' (ie: a village) into a mound of dirt and human remains. All this to the accompaniament of a gravelly and gravely sounding guy who speaks of the thrust, penetration and power of the modern replacement for a sharpened stick.

Cleverly edited shots, showing balooning explosions over a jungle, mountain or wherever the particular enemy of democracy and shareholders were hiding at the time. No compassion, no humanity at all. No recognition that these things kill people. If pornography is dehumanising because it removes any notion of emotion from intimacy, this crap is even worse. Here are our new sharp sticks, we poke holes in people to make them go away. Its not important why we do this, its not important to look for alternatives. Hell do not even dare thinking how many schools, hospitals or interplanetary space missions we could send for a full kit of those. Just focus on how shiny the stick is and how sharp the pointy end is.

Naturaly, there is no reason for this at all. Purely serving the needs of the market. Capitalism 101. Supply and demand. Now, kindly keep watching, oohing and aahing over this wonderful mincemeat maker. Above all, do not engage brain trying to solve the puzzle how it is that we are being taxed less but pay more to fund these essential marital aids to preserve someones way of life.

So, how am I doing. Living up to my promise not to be too negative?
Comment dammint. Both of you!

M...Must... u...pdate...

2005-02-16T20:35:00.001-08:00

There is a reason for everything, and there is a reason for my silence.
The human brain has a tendency to invent tasks for itself when idle.
This is why when one sits in a psychiatric clic, waiting for one daily medication dosage check, one counts the ceiling tiles [twich, nervous eye tick, stabs a fly with a pencil tip].

Wulf has been on 6 weeks holidays with surfeit of idle time.
Thusly I have invented a task for myself that has swallowed my time with the efficency of a black hole. Lucky for me, my computer blew up.
I was about to call one of my friends to ask for a freebee CBT session when the universe intervened.

Another reason is that I have promised myself not to say any more bad things about the US. Since each of my posts brings me closer to a free stay in a re-education camp when the purges come. Its time to go easy on our friends in Washington.
It is not that the US has all of the sudden seen the error of their hegemonistic ways. I do not want to be corrupt by the dark seed of distaint and hatred. From now on, I am going to stick to good news or satire.

Speaking of which, this is my last creation. In my head for quite a while, but it was crying to get out, banging on my cranium from the inside with a sledgehamer, asking to get out.

A faux cover for a new video game.

WARDROBE MULFUNCTION

2004-12-27T01:40:00.000-08:00

Woe is Wulf! The rallying catch cry of all the couch potatoes everywhere 'Sports are unhealthy!' is once again proved to be true. The first Sunday of my holiday I have gone rollelblading. Now that my brother had purveyed the missing axle bolt from Melbourne where it had been assembled atom-by-atom by nanite-macroassemblers, or so one is led to believe, judging by the availability, if not the price.

Wulf has been clocked at up to 37Km/h and on that day the telemetry recovered from the black box indicates that at the time of the wardrobe malfuncion Wulf was traversing the landscape at least around 30Km/h. This conclusion is drawn from the telemetry data that has just recorded the Wulf chassis reconfiguration from 'Look at me, I am casually accelerating, sporty and fit like...' to 'Look at me, I am moving at a hasty pace, somewhere between `faster that a walking elderly citizen and not quite as fast as a bike in a full flight, yet benefiting from aerodynamic low profile`'. One moment, the cockpit tapes record the eyeballs feeding a casual scenery of a sunny Sunday morning with the rest of the cognitive functions randomly causing endorphins to leach out into the cortex et all... the next moment, testicles retract in an emergency stowage position. Naturally at this point in time, the rest of the body is beginning to realise that something bad is happening, since the primary cognitive organ (ie: The testicles) have reacted. A few milliseconds later, the reminder of the nervous system received feedback that the expected propulsion sequence from the right motive section has been interrupted. What happened afterwards was reconstructed from the eyewitness testimony and careful forensic analysis of the wreckage. It is clear however that at some stage the entire Wulf became airborne, albeit for a short time.

Now, I have carefuly examined the Wulf specification and nowhere I had found any reference to airborne capability. At least, not one that ends with anything but a splatonic onomatopea. In anticipation of the imminently termination of the brief flight, the front manipulators have extended to cushion some of the impact.
The next thing Wulf remembers is a guy in a white coat looking rather surprised.

'WTF are you doing here Wulf?', the impractically attired gentelman asks.
Wulf, in his trademark quick witted style, replies 'Uhg... my head...'
'You are in the wrong place...', the gentelman consults his PDA with a look of concern.
Wulf at this time is somewhat more coherent, regaining most of his cognitive ability by now and states eloquently: 'Whoa...'.
'You are not due for another two thousand years, anyway ...', the guy in white says, tsk tsking.
'Cool', Wulf states once more, putting all the bards and poets of all the ages past and future to shame with his grasp of the language.
'We will have to fix this...' the guy whips out another device, which looks clearly similar to a Portable specific time-space continuum manipulator, only this one does not require the entire output of the universe to power it. Clikety clak and Wulf finds himself eight months in the past, deciding inexplicably, spontaneously and of his own free will totally unprompted to equip himself with an enire set of crash guards, body armor, helmets, wizardly charms and other protective devices, all designed to lessen the chance of bad hurties when inevitably Mr.Bitumen says hello.

Thus, when the crash occured all Wulf said was 'WHOMPH' accompanying a unique yet fearful sound which was as my friend G. once eloquently and observantly stated all those years ago, 'The sound that Wulf makes when he falls is like a side of beef hitting the concrete'. Thanks to all the mirth provoking body armor all the injuries that Wulf has suffered were 4 patches of nasty road rash, and a small cut above the boot and on the small finger of the left hand (wearing bike gloves which got compromised). All in all, over $800 in body armor has just repaid itself with interest. Had Wulf not been wearing any, the knees and elbows would have been boned with possibly a nasty face/dental injury had the chinguard not taken the blow.

Here is the culprit of the crash. The shoelace got entangled in the third wheel of the righ drivetrain bringing the whole thing to an instant stop. The right photo is the rip in my rollerblading pants. Quite tough canvas shorts, torn like tissue in the crash, a testimony to the energy of the impact. Marvel mirthfuly at the motorcross knee guards, looking particularly silly to any who have not had the joyous experience of pressing their naked flesh onto the file-like surface of bitumen and dragging it along the ground until interesting bits begin to show.

I was uncharacteristically lucky, not only because of my minimal body injuries, but also my phone has been merely scratched rather than smashed to bits, some of the impact absorbed by a squashed Gatorade bottle.

Lucky day for me, bought three cross lotto tickets for the New Years draw.

LINK OF THE DAY

What happens IRL when luck runs out

WULF DOES SANTA

2004-12-25T01:48:00.000-08:00

Ever ridden a roller-coaster?
The train makes clickety clack noises, climbing up the gravity well, mass ratios and kinetic equations dance around the gravity constant. Charging up, then, once the top of the track is reached, silence. Just before everyone (sans Wulf natch) screams and the bucket of humanity hurdles down the track to embark on another ride.

Well, this is precisely the feeling I am experiencing right now. Only, for added excitement, I do not know whether there is a track on the down side of the coaster :) Hmmm... tell me more Wulf. Make youself more comfortable on the couch. Why this unreasonable fear of clowns? Huh? I did not mention any clowns. Unless of course we are talking of people who have wronged me in the past. Plotted their evil plans, nay more so inconvinient. For to call them evil would be to offend the good, mirror thing, do not think to much on it, it is quite apparent to anyone reading (all 2 of you) that I have not thought to much about what I have written ;)

The new year is going to bring changes, this I know. The last few days of this year are a fuse to a rocket that is going to push me forward. This I know.

A good start was an interview I had on Christmas eve. A sign I am getting old. Both the PM and the Talent were both younger than me. Usually, the decision makers are older. Even though it was a team leader role, I politely declined since it transpired that the role was hands on, working on a SOE rollout. This is the kind of a position I will be considering when the stocks of the cans of dogfoods start running low. I give it 2-3 months. In the meanwhile, the sights are set higher.
Interesting aspect of a psychology of an Interview. It is twice now that I have informed the interviewer that the offered role is not for me.
Yet in both instances I was informed that it was *I* who was 'unsuccessful'.
This was after I informed them that I was not interested.
No, I am sorry mate. It is *I* who have decided *YOU* were unsuccessful.
The interview process cuts both, *I* get to decide if I want to work for you lot; usurous,incompetent,disorganised,clearly inept and badly in need of my assistance. The Interviewer has a real problem letting go of their perceived control of the process.

Aaah... Control. My favourite word at the moment.
I have ordered a game from the US. The reason, this game comes out here sometime next year. Its available in the US for well over 4 weeks now. And it it cheaper. Naturally I have Ebayed it. Here is the 1st surprise. Even including the shipping, I paid $68. For a game that in Australia would cost $99.
Ok, I am happy to go with that high marigin. I have said this before, I buy locally when I can so that my neighbour has a job.

My second surprise really annoyed me. The game is regionalised. Allow me to explain this concept to you dear reader. You see, forget what you have heard about Global economy. It is all lies and propaganda. Forget all you have heard about competative markets, the bedrock of capitalism. All lies.

The idea of 'regionalised' media means that the CDs have little bits on them marking them as made for a region. This allows the vendor (SONY, may their corporate soul burn in the hell of insolvency as the insanely gigling users trample their grave) to charge $40-50 for the game in the US and $90 for the game here.
To put it in other words. You are being locked out from the competition/fair market by the virtue of monopoly. Luckily it looks like they have pissed off enough people that there is now a solution. Before you blanch that I being such a principled human being would stoop to thieving from a multi billion dollar multinational corporation, owning a mod chip is legal in Australia. I guess it is all a problem with translation. 'Customer Satisfaction' was mistranslated as 'Consumer hostile measures'.

There is a cosmic justice in play. I have been poignantly reminded of this at my Christmas dinner. You see the last few years my parents have been gravitating by choice towards having the Chrismas dinner at the local ethnic hangout. At their age, preparing a 12 course meal is a bit of a chore. The meal is perpared according to the old country tradition. Very old europe. And so it was, some time into the meal the Santa Claus was scheduled to make an appearance. Natrually, being the idiot that I am I have asked the chief voluneer 'Can I do something to help?', since the man was making the rounds apologising for a delay in one of the 12 courses.
The guy had one look at me and asked me to be the Santa Claus.
Living up to my motto 'Carpe Diem', and before any good sense brain cells that were not pleasantly floating on a sea of booze on their tiny white cell floating mattresses, sipping pina coladas had a chance to wake up and scream 'WTF R u doing dude!' I upped and dis-appeared behind the scenes to dress as the man in Coca-Cola colors.

Wulf, the man in red. Note the santa pants strapped onto the front of my trousers and the bursting jacket. Not often it can be said that; most Santas are scrawny weedy guys... at least compared to Wulf :)

Now, here is the funny part. After I have went to all the effort of being publicly humiliated in front of 200 people, there were no presents!
All the presents left under the tree were decorations, so fun time ensued as I was describing and speculating various empty boxes, blocks of wood and gift wrapped bricks. Sigh...

So... living proof not only that there is cosmic justice, but also she has a sense of humor (see the previous post).

LINK OF THE DAY

This is one of those, 'Why did no one think of this before?' ideas. A CD labeler that allows you to BURN the image on the other side of a CD in a CD burner!

SOCIOPATH INDUSTRIALIST WITH A DRUG HABIT

2004-12-20T05:43:00.000-08:00

With my contract expiring on Christmas eve, my sense of humor when it comes to all things combining Christmas and employment is shall we say it...conservative. So it was with a great degree of mirth when I noticed the following ad placed on seek.com.au:

Ho bloody ho, ve are lookink for work, ja? Ve do not do the haha!

In the spirit of the ad, I have replied to it with the following letter (edited for style in repost). So far, no response yet:

Dear Sir/Madam.

I am appalled that you would post this job ad!
There are so many things wrong with it, I would not know where to begin!
But let me try!

First, remuneration.To state that it is 'unique' is highly deceptive and I am sure it violates a code of conduct of some sort. Milk and cookies hardly constitutes a minimum wage condition.

Second, your euphemism for the highly cavalier and unsafe method of transportation of 'Extensive travel opportunities'. The operator of the vehicle holds no licence, not even a basic pilots papers. It is a miracle that no major airliner was brought down by the sled and the reindeer.

Third and you do not mention this at all. What about personal liability insurance? The incumbent gains aggress to many private properties without the explicit permission of the owners. Where I come from that is called 'break and enter'. But even assuming there is implicit approval granted by the vehicle of a stocking (a dubious legal device to say the least). Who covers the cost of damages to the roofs? Most roofing systems have not been engineered to hold the weight of a fully laden sled.

Fourth, 'Northern Hemisphere Location'. BAH! I laugh at this. I have heard about off shoring, but this clearly takes the cake. Not only there is no recognised government (and thus tax system and labour laws), but clearly siting the manufacturing facilities in such a remote location bodes no good (as well as making poor logistic sense for the supply of raw resources).So, clearly, the position encourages the violation of basic human right to a living wage. I would like to know how much are the gnomes paid per hour. Huh? Answer me this! You can not! You are complicit in this farcical off shoring operation!

Fifth, the environmental impact. I can not begin to describe how disturbed I am by the notion of a large manufacturing facility sited in the pristine wilderness. The fragile ecosystem can not support the stress placed on it by this mad-mans industrial empire. Once again I charge you with complicity in crimes against nature!

Sixth, 'Mature age candidate'? This clearly violates the Equal opportunity laws in Australia. I will be making a complaint to the commissioner forthwith.

Seventh, the insane schedule that this job entails can only be achieved by bending the laws of physics and intravenous use of amphetamines. Both activities frowned upon by the law, common sense and the recruiters association of Australia or whatever industry association the fool who wrote this ad will be tarred and feathered and ridden out of town for bringing the good name of recruiters in disrepute. Little wonder the current incumbent is clearly driven insane by the unforgiving deadlines, as manifested by his clear obesity problem, lunatic laugher and anachronistic attire. I bet there is not even any medical insurance with the role!

All in all, it is a disgraceful, fallacious and highly dubious example of recruiters art.

You, dear sir/madam, are highly deserving of a lump of coal in your stocking this Xmas!

Signed,
Yours (very indignant)
-Signed-.

On the job front, my new tart corporate-ho resume is making recruiters interested with 2 bites so far versus 10 applications. This is a good ratio, given that the applications were very off-hand. I have high hopes that the contract I have set up with Ibrahim, the Turkish gray-market organ donor inermediary for my spare kidney, retina and half a liver will not have to be cashed in just yet.
I expect to be once again gainfuly (using the word very losely) employed by the end of January. Looking forward to the holliday.

BASTARDS STOLE BABY JESUS!

2004-12-17T21:25:00.000-08:00

True! This is not a diatrabe against the spirit of Christmas being stolen by the neo-capitalist marketing-industro-military compex. Whatever the hell that means. The spirit of Christmas that is. The cathartic ritual of purging the sins of excess and absence from the loved ones is in full swing, the city streets choked with the xmas buyers. So much so that an SMS took 2 hours the other day to arrive to my handset, so much for instant communication. Though to call it Xmas would insult the minorities, unless of course the minorities are the majority and can influence the PC speak, Political Correctness not Personal Computer, thought I'd qualify that being a geek. As is the case in the US where the Xmas is no longer about Christ but about 'Holliday' season. Even though it is. [nervous facial tick]

Stolen, like a cheap piece of papermache/gypsium that the whole fracas farce is.
There is a nativity scene in front of a Church near my home, very pretty, lifesized figures of the main cast, including a figure of a Lamb (representing the voting public) and the figure of Ass (representing the politcian). I recon they should have nailed the baby Jesus to the ground. Though the irony of it does not escape me.
Where is the spirit of XXXmas when even baby Jesus is not safe from the thieving hordes. Though no doubt it was the terrorists. The heathen, no-good, anti-christian terrorists. Fundamentalist religious fanatics that shall be purged from the face of this good gods earth and cast into the fiery pits of hell where their soul-less selves belong. Cast there by the righteous might of our Christian moderate army purging the satans minions from the oil rich (and thus sacred, lord praise the SUV, the plastic bag and the oil futures, Amen) lands.
Yes, yes, yes. I know the REAL reason baby jesus is not there. But since truth is no longer necessary for a good story, I thought I would jump on the bandwagon.

Hallelujah, in our religious zeal we have purged Fallujah of all the heathen zealots , slaying thousands of innocent in the process (but you can't make an omlet (or democracy) without breaking a few eggs, right?), looks like finally we are bringing the true face of democracy to Fallujah. Is this what the future holds for us, here in the 'civilised' world? Obviously not, only tin-foil hat wearing paranoid, consipacy theory, lunatics would hate freedom so much to even suggest this. I for one, welcome our new, democratically elected, overlords!

The elections and the war in Iraq are shaping well, with the road between the Baghdad airport and the Green Zone being completely unsafe. Good to see that all those lives (on both sides) sacraficed in Fellujah were not lost in vain.
At least its money well spent. All 160 BILLION dollars of it. I guess this is the price of peace, 6 billion dollars per month the running US bill for the war. Explain to me again please why the US dollar is collapsing again?

I am so overjoyed by these just, uplifting and desirable developments that I have bought myself an escape pod from this planet. So, really, there is no need for the secret government ninjas to put dioxin into my borsch. I am well and trully harmless. I will be sitting in front of my TV, zombie like, honeing my reflexes and removing any trace of consience at killing other human beings (pixelised though they are, just like in the sights of our wonderful, taxpayer funded, feel-safe, plush, family friendly peace making machines. This will come in handy when the time comes to bring democracy to the Chinese and we all will be drafted to fight the terrorists and defend the Christiandom. Because, of course, this war, like all the wars before it, is the war to end all wars.

The other day I came across this line;
"In war, there are heroes on both sides." - Something worth remembering in our 'impartial' deliberations and media coverage.
Conversely, and equally true;
"In war, there are war criminals on both sides.".
So, once again and for the record, I always thought this war was a bad idea.
But, for a portfolio of Halliburton,GM and Lockheed shares I will most certainly change my mind. Alternatively, a carte-blanche, 'Get out of the re-education camp free' card when inevitably we set them up to purge the terrorist loving libertarians. But maybe I am worried needlessly. Surely such a fair minded mob that we Australians are, would never allow prisons on our own land, holding people without trial for indetermined time.

Australian government spreading christmas compassion and good cheer. But hey, if it wins elections, why should we treat these people with the respect they deserve? (Photo: (C) Linday Moller)

Surreal, seems to be the theme for my conversations this last few days.
First, hanging with my friends G. T. J. and R. playing PS2, imbibing and generally relaxing after a hard week of work. G. was playing Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas in essence a game full of mayhem, crime and destruction. G. walks into a store, the game is quite sophisticated and allows to customise the character to quite a degree. G. is buying all the bling, tshirts and pantaloons that no self respecting gangsta would be drive-by-shot by in without (Englez parfavor?). R. looks at the screen with ever increasing degree of discomfort (think bunny in the lights of a truck). G. asks, "How does this look?", modelling a Tshirt. Bear in mind, this is VIRTUAL shoping, in-game. Finally, R. blows up, "Stuff this mate! I can't stand shopping with the missus, I am sure as hell not going to do this in my downtime!" and goes home :)

My second surreal conversation at a Xmas party I got invited to. The hostess doing the headcount at 3AM with the corpses of the partygoers still warm in various stages of repose, scattered around the house. 'This one gets invited again, this one gets the voodoo doll, this one gets the horse head shipped in the mail.'. There was something very Kafquesque about the whole process. I must be turning gay. The entire party (or rather 90% of the time) I have spent talking to the women. Call me weird but I find the company of women more interesting then men. Must be the whole 'to the thirsty man, every hole is a well' scenario. Hmmm... that did not come out right somehow.
Strangely enough, I have enjoyed the entire experience enormously. Met a lot of wonderful women, alas no phone numbers :(

There are a couple of things I am going to buy when I get a new assignment, naturally, it will be unseemingly highly paid with the commesurate lessening of effort necessary to bring the loot home (much like my current assignment).

First, this motorised board. A custom made leg breaker, at a mere A$700 is no doubt going to provide me with uncounted hours of fun...or at least until I break a leg or get bored, whichever comes first. This is naturally contingent on whether the motor is 200Watt or smaller, since that is the limit for the device allowed on bike-paths.

Second, I am pretty much set on the Z3. I have researched it with some depth and given about $35-$40K I can get a reasonable model. I have come across a number of after market options, including this solid shell roof making a rather fetching, neo-classic vehicle. Though I do need the 6Cylinder option since the 4 is in a word 'weezy' and greately underpowered.

I am a good man, really. Do not need a car to fill the hole where my soul would be. Honest and for true! Come on baby ride with me!

Ah, all this crass comercialism and shallow dearth of character and depth makes me want to finish on the now customary characteristic pontificatory and pretentious note. The other morning, waiting for my drug dealer to provide me with the cup of hot Jave for the day (Soy Latte Alto to take away) this heroic Telstra (local telecommunication company) technician was working on connecting some wires in a pit.

A minion of Arachne of the Internet age.

I took this shot for a number of reasons;
a) Because I could.
b) Because it is something so mundane, important and will fade into obscurity in time with the advent of the wireless telecomms. As such, it is a moment to be captured and preserved, together with the horse buggy whip makers and slide-rule assemblers.
c) There is another layer to this scene, the wires, like the threads of fate Arachne wove, will connect hundreds of thousands of voices, human tragedies, joys, loves.

And so, it is time to finish for now with a...

LINK OF THE DAY

What happens when a childrens book is crossed with the mind bending evil immortal lord from the end of time?

Tales of the plush Cthulhu...

ICONOCLAST HEDONIST

2004-12-11T16:47:00.000-08:00

Yes Wulf is being pretentious again.

I had gone to see 'The Ring of Nibelung' cycle opera 'Sigfried' (the third one). An acquintice of mine (CG.) has acquired by stealth or by wealth some tickets to a rebroadcast of the show. Allow me to explain the ticketing situation to the Ring Cycle. Yes there are some tickets to be had. The acquisition of the said tickets includes one or possibly two of the following techniques;
a) obscene amount of disposable personal income.
b) violence, untimely death, and the disposal of persons remains.

I had intended to go to see the 'Ring Cycle' French production in SA when it was first produced in 1998. This was done as a kind of sweetener after SA lost its F1 Grand Prix (Due to an incredible example of bueraucratic bungling). The idea beeing that Wagner always intended to hold the opera as a 'small city festival'.
Well, yes, most emphatically this noble idea has been well thought out by our glorious leaders. Though as far as Wulf can see, the interpretation of 'folksy small city festival' is translated to banners along King William Street and a number of invitation only, black tie functions for the people who can afford the $2400 A grade seats to the opera.

Did I mention the $2400 A grade tickets? Unless of course you would like to slum it in the Syberian seats at $600. Still, Wulf was prepared to live on dogfood and roadkill for a couple of months just to polish some of those rough edges off my persona (having broken a couple of industrial strength grinders in the process).

Though the opera I attended was only an opera 'Retransmission', a la-de-dah way of saying 'Lets watch the grand final on the wall projector I sneaked out from work, and oh, no you can't talk and you can't drink booze either'. It was nevertheless enjoyable. Now, let me think about the appropriatness of the word enjoyable in describing 'Sigfried'...ummm... enjoyable in the same way that one feels after your root canal session at the dentist has just finished. Thank the lord above that it is over!

An all SA production, minimalistic stage set design, apparently after all the expensive overseas producers and consultants were paid, there was not enouch money for some cardboard and paint. Modernistic costumes (ie:Wotan with bionocs) added to the sense of confusion. 'When is this meant to be happening? Legendary? Yes, here is your bus ticket, STFU.'. photo shamelessly ripped off SMH (c) Sue Adler.

No, seriously, this opera is in a dire need of a hollywood script make over.
Here is an example of the script from Act II, where Wotan meets Albrecht.

Wotan: I have balls.
Abrecht: You have balls?

Wotan: Yes I have balls.
Abrecht: Balls?

Wotan: Balls.
Abrecht: You have you balls you say?

Wotan: I do say, I have balls!
Abrecht: Balls!

Wotan: Balls.
Abrecht: Balls.

Wotan: ...BALLS!
Abrecht: You do indeed have balls.

And so ad infinitum, ad mortem defecata!
Or as a teenager of today would succintly sum it up, GAY!

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! HAVE MERCY!
The script sucks. And blows. At the same time!
The entire show could have easily been retold in 3 hours instead of 17, still maintaining all of the character development and all the 'inside' numbers that the Wagnerian afficionados (sad, sheltered, compulsive obsesives of germanic descent with a closet affection for Mr.Hitler and trains running on time, with apologies to all the Wagnerian afficionados who are not, all 2 of you).

During the meal break (an indictment in itself, an opera with a bloody DINNER BREAK in the middle ffs?!) CG sighted this noir street scene. The empty table of the feast of my soul... my veins are emptying into the hot tub as I watch this cheerful scene.

Nevertheles, a good time was had by Wulf, appearances notwithstanding.

BUT WAIT... THERE IS MORE!

Friday after work drinkies Wulf and CH. had met to see 'Hero' a Zhang Yimou movie (he of the 'Crouching Tiger, hidden dragon'. CH. is a big fan of CTHD and after seeing the shorts for HERO, I needed to see it too with someone who was into the artform. Especially since CH. is an art grad and thus highly attuned to the nuances of art. CH. is one of my old casual acquintices who looks like becoming another one of my platonic friends (the Curse of Wulfs)[shrug].

Review in a word?
AWESOME.
Zhang Yimou, is a master of poetic camerawork, colors, movement and emotions blend in one continuous brushstroke marking the rice paper canvas of the plot. The ink turns and twists like the arabesque of chinese character at the same time keeping us speech less at its exotic beauty.

The movie, though not spectacularly successful, is a triumph lasting as long as it has in the mainstream cinemas, considering its a foreign movie. Certainly not the product placement/moralistic tales for the plebians that Hollywood insists on calling entertainment.

Magic. This still photo does no justice to the continuous, enchanting, moving experience that is HERO

The only criticism, and that is solely looking at it from the individual-centric worldview of the Western mind is the propaganda aspect of the movie which becomes compelingly clear towards the end. Something the Chinese may not even see as bad, indeed, I am sure they believe it is very right.

Five stars out of Five on the Wulf scale.

ENCHANTED

2004-12-05T06:24:00.000-08:00

In a word? Wish you were there!
The sikrit location Enchanted No.7 (allegedly the last one) was held in Port Gawler. 36Km from my house to the millimeter. My mobile thought it was at "Two Wells", probably the last UNJAMMED cell station. Not exactly in the middle of nowhere as I expected but far enough to worry about the knocking noise in my L33T trasnportation as I breached the sound barrier of 110Km/h. An anectode springs to mind, an early aviation pioneer was asked how he knows the speed his aircraft travels at. "Well", he says, "When I hit 50, my engine sputters, why I hit 70, my stick breaks and when I hit 80, my wings fall off". My hairstylist is SO burned! His 'contacts' were telling him Enchanted was going to be down south this year. Stick to what you do best man! Cut the hair FFS!

I have arrived safely to my destination, though I parked the car ontop of some concrete/pipe arrangement clearly designed to stop the chinese invading tanks when the come onto the beach. Bend the front fairing and at the time I suspected cracked the oil pan but I though; "Screw that! Im here to party and no busted car is going to stop me".

Shot from about 500m away, 4 stages and the atmosphere can be felt from the distance.

I was by myself, since none of my friends was young enough/into the music enough/was washing the hair on the night or whatever. I was a bit worried that my attire was a bit outre (Cammo pants, E-Superman tshirt, boots, Gell spiky hair), I was pleasantly surprised I fit in. The crowd though young as a rule was very cool. There were a few crusties like myself but all were hardcore enough not to stick out.
The chiX0rz wore funky synth fur leggins, the blokes, baggy fluro pants, Council workmen vest were a big hit and I am sure I saw a few biohazard suits. The ammount of LED/glowstick bling was amazing. EVERYONE had some glowing shit. I felt SO DARK!
I really wish my watch would glow constantly rather briefly, would fit right in.

MAXIMUS GLOSTIK, Seriously funky glo bling, PC grade neon tubes with bumpack powersupply

Took a number of shots with my Sharp GX-30, a couple of actually suprisingly good quality (check out the photos below).

The music was awesome, raw sets spun there and then. I did not realise how different DJ's sound at the rave. This is their natural environment, not locked up in a commercial club. None of the 'techno-pop' crap you hear at Heaven. All new/fresh sets. After casing the layout, I circulated between the Big Dog and Adrenaline stages where hardcore, energy techno was the form.

I had high hopes for 'The Crystal Method' and whilst the set was not much like their CD stuff, it had the energy and rawnes that only a genuine, uncanned electronica can bring. I got into it with ease.

What I liked most about the whole experience is the atmosphere. Really friendly, very much like a folk festival but with better music and energy. I was offered water (did I really look that tripped out?) and people initiated conversation with me AND THEY WEREN'T ASKING ME TO SELL THEM STUFF!
Whoa! I had gone home far too early for my liking, I went to the car around 3AM (had a stash of energy drinks and glucose) sat down and OMFG! My knees screamed in relief and pleaded for mercy 'No MORE, PLEASE!'. I am getting far too old for this kind of abuse.

I do hope the threat that this will be 'the last one' is mere hot air. Large Raves like this need to go on forever.

Atmosphere with a capital E. Click for large size.

Can not look at these images and not want to be there again! Sigh. Click for large size

Largest of the 4 stages was the 'Big Dog'. By the virtue of the sets being played. Click for large size

The sun is coming out and its the middle of the night... Click for large size

SUBHUMAN!

2004-12-02T05:19:00.000-08:00

The RED CROSS has presented their report on Camp-X ray in Guantanamo bay to the US today. Apparently, the prisoners are being tortured [shrugs]. Big deal, they probably deserved it, being dully convincted by a court of law, I mean we in the west, in a democracy put people in jail only after due process, dont we?

Unless of course those people are SUBHUMAN.
Watching my favourite comedy channel, the FOXNEWS, Hannity and Holmes program, a fine upstanding Ex-CIA operative (interrogator) by the name of Wayne Simmons was interviewed and called the arab captives 'subhuman'.
Now, ordinarly when such a fine upstanding example of the human species makes similarly remarkable statement, I believe that it is best not to mention them by name. Along the old proverb of 'Your unremarkable career will be quickly forgotten'.

I however think that Wayne needs to be remembered in the hall of fame of humanity finest, together with other fine humans who thought other humans were 'subhuman'.

Warning, the following links contain graphic images of the result of one human thinking others are subhuman. It seems we need a reminder of the consequences of this way of thinking.

The most obvious example of subhumans.

Not so famous example of subhumans by our good trading partners.

These superior humans called the subhumans, roaches.

These people (sorry subhumans) just slipped and fell of the stairs, all 1.5 million of them. Rather unfortunate accident.

Growing up in eastern europe, with school tours to the Nazi deathcamps part of my upbringing, I often wondered; "Why? How? How did the people of the day allow other humans to be annihilated in such a way?".
Calling your enemy 'subhuman' is a damned good way to start another genocide.
Of course, these days, we are far more civilised in annihilating the subhumans.

Those who do not know the history, are bound to repeat it.

DEMON APPLIANCE

As some of you may know, I own a possesed appliance. Namely, my dish washing machine has been possesed by an unholly spirit and akin to Linda Blair she of the Exorcist fame spinning head and projectile vomiting pea soup it is causing me unholy entertainment in my kitchen. I have to babysit it with a crucifix in one hand and a bible in another least it make a horrible sucking noise midway through the fill cycle and void its putrid liquid onto the floor to the cacophony of a horrid mechanical cackling.

Naturlay, there is no way a human being can repair this possesed appliance. The few repair men who had the fortidude to gaze into its horrid, putrifying maw, made terrible noises that sounded very much like 'Eeeerrrghhh... controller unit, errrhhhh $200... Gaaaah.'. Naturally, being a fine Christian (or at least baptised) I take their gurgling, torturous utterances to be a sign of transference secondary possesion and loss of mental faculties.

Still, I find if I perform the ritual of purification and clensing, hold its maw in a certain way and pronounce the lords prayer, the seed of belzeebob (an incompetent cousin of blezeebub, cast down to earth to posses kitchen appliances) possesing the dish washing machine flees temporarily and my mold covered utensils and wine goblets are somewhat cleaner than before, though many are smashed to bits when the wrathful entity returns. Bah, it would be so easy to pronounce the appliance forsaken and in need of a rebirth. But, yeay, verity, I ask unto thee! We should give each and every whitegoods the opportunity to redeem itself. Though the newfangled, silverclad appliances are guilty of the sin of guile and hubris and as such shall be cast upon the mountain of refuse when the fad passes. Amen.

ENCHANTED T-2

2004-12-01T02:09:00.001-08:00

Enchanted Forest T-2 (2 Days to go to they who do not speak militaria/geek).This is the last Enchanted Rave held outside of town (1h drive) and as such, the organisers are claiming a righteous set. Worth attending just for The CRYSTAL METHOD, also Pendelum (of Fresh FM hit fame) + zillions of other DJs.

This is the thread with all the latest announcements (including location posted 1 day before): Raveadelaide.

For the love of god. If there is ANYONE out there who feels like partying to hard core electronica, please let me know. I really do not want to go alone. Big Wulf is scared... of being called a LECH, (Waves to the Witch) :) But seriously, lets GO, its FUN, Mail, Comment, SMS, Carrier pigeon me!

100 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE

...or in the case of WULF, transcend into a higher being.
This article here a list by scientists. Pretty cool ideas. Did you know you can climb a mountain higher than Mt.Everest?

Will have to compose my own list, but off the top of my head (some of these I obviously thought about);

Become a (good) father

Go to the Love parade in Germany.

Go to the Burning Man in Nevada.

Go to the b1gg3st HaXor conf3rence (I fight for the user)

Climb onto a volcano

Ride a Clydesdale.

BUNJEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

RIO FESTVAL!

Fly to orbit (or the moon if commercial flights are available)

Regenerate back to the age of 20 ;)

Write a novel/book - maybe even make some money on it.

Look back at my life at its end and not regret too many things I have not done.

Make love in the rain, ideally in the rain, in the seashore breakers (those who know me are now trying to poke their eyes out at the imagery, kek)

HALF LIFE 2 - FINISHED

I have to say with a heavy heart, I have finished it. The last few levels were so hard. Not because of the level difficulty, but because of these 'squad' members that kept dying. You see, in the last few levels, the populuce rises up to fight the evil aliens. Unfortunately, the survivability of the 'troopers' is equivalent to the longevity of Howards electoral 'non-core' promise after the election day.

The game lives up to its reputation, keeps the twists and innovation going until the very end, though certain formula is inevitable ('The government man' for those in the know). If anything the ending is uplifting because it guarantees HL3 :)

Non spoiler ending. PHULEEESE!!! Did this archivilian not learn anything from the countless Hollywood movies? You do not explain your evil plan to take over the world to your captive good guys! FFS!

On a final note, the often reviled STEAM a HL2 distribution, mindcontrol spyware is actually very cool, with new updates and free games popping up frequently. My soul and demographics data are cheap, just give me free software!

LINK's OF THE DAY

http://www.truthout.org

Everyone has had more sex than me A cutesey animation to a song by 'TISM'. Do you ever get the feeling that a songs lyrics could be a soundtrack to your life?

HOWLIN'

2004-11-29T02:23:00.000-08:00

Heareyee Hearyee, 'tis the full (fool?) moon again. Once again, Wulf wakes up to find all his bones aching as if he run 100km at 100km/h. Various nasty looking scratches and ugly looking bullethole like zits. I hate full moon, the yard ALWAYS needs cleaning afterwards, some stray dog keeps dragging dead cats and dead MONKEY skeletons. Must be a BIG dog though coz the monkey bones are like CRUNCHED though and there are some car bumper bars ripped clean off with teethmarks like a chainsaw . Had I been supersticious, I would have thought something like this prowls neighbourhood, luckily, the rational and clear headed man that I am, I know its merely a BIG, BIG puppy.

REVIEW: 'THE WEEPING CAMEL'

Caught up with a good friend of mine T. for a night of JAZZ/FUNK/FUSION. Well yes, so I thought, thats what the banner over the GRIFFINS HEAD proclaimed, as T. said, one helluva of a confused musician. So fscking confused that they did not find the door of the premises. Hence, therefore and as such, we had sought another line of entertainment and gone to the Nova to see 'The weeping camel'.

Ok, here goes... Wulfs Review. 'The weeping camel'.

Camera pan Fscking middle of nowhere. No, this place makes middle of nowhere look like Hindley St (a local arse end of the world 'happening' place) on new years eve.

Major gross out, camels pop babies all over the place. Fscking camel p0rn everywhere! Movie banned in bloody Saudie Arabia, Hard core XXX camel p0rn.

By halfway into the movie we find that there are actually huuumans actors (though we initially cant tell coz they wear all these camel threads).
One dude is actually called dude which makes the whole thing Sh!t confusing coz we think the Mongolians are all funky all of the sudden calling each other 'Dude', but really, his name is 'Dude'.

So, one of the baby camels does not suck. Though the movie by this time does. Suck. Rather badly. Wulf is like looking all attentive and kulduhral. Principally coz T. has her elbow firmly in my ribs. T. is like HISSING in my ear. FFS! TARD!
You got me to see this crap, YOU BETTER STAY AWAKE TARD!

So, the DUDE and his kid brother who wants satelitte TV (no really, from a yurt to sat TV. FSCK THAT! Lets skip a few stages in the tech tree! Fscking haX0r!) go on a quest. TO GET A MUSIC TEACHER TO PLAY VIOLIN.

It is apparently going to make the camel SUCK!
All I can say to this is; "GIMME, GIMME, GIMME! I WANT SOME!!!"
I want some of these mushrooms, fermented yak milk or whatever the hell the german script writer is having to write this script.

The violinist arrives, plays music, chix0r sing, camel cries (Crap music, you'd cry too). Camel sux. THE END. FFS!
Cant even ask for my money back coz T. shouted free pass FFS!

THE FUTURE OF THE SPECIES

Its T.'s fault again. 'Here, this looks good!' she says. Something to go see with one of your friends! A SC-FI feminist play. Kylie Minogue and gamettes/stem cell harvesting. Something to appeal to everyone.

Wulf buys 2 tickets. Lets see, who could we inflict this play upon. Ok... N. needs a bit of an entertainment, having to write essays about how to save the world.

WARNING: SPACE THEATER means there is not ANY!

In a twist of irony, 'SPACE THEATER' means the public is squeezed around the stage so that we can all smell the sweaty thespians (No THESPIANS, sadly, you illiterate tard!) and look terribly uncomfortable when these insolent waiters (sometime actors) make rude noise in our general direction.

The above is the stage, the sole stage furniture a piece of burger wrapper in the upper right. I did SO want to pick it up, a sign I am surely turning into a fscking crusty pillar of the community ffs! I thought I better snatch this photo b4 the play starts least the thespians shove my mobile into some obscure orfice of mine or worse, make public fun of me. As it was, the play was relatively harmless though N. was so enthused that I felt guilty and paid for her dinner. Ah well, read the reviews in the future... THANKS T.!!! THANKS A BUNCH! You owe me a dinner!

TEA PARTY & THE ESCAPE COMMITTEE

Friday night, after work drinkies, M. (She of the two boyfriends, one coming bearing expensive electronics, the other one apparently just coming) organised a get together of ex-Employees of the saltmines where we all worked (using the word 'worked' very losely). Now M. is wonderful to hang with and has a plethora or skills, sadly attention to detail, hell attention - period, is not her greatest strenght (*waves* HI M.!). We ended up at the AMBASSADOR hotel in King william street. The name of this 'australiana' is the height of a sarcasm. It is like calling the Siberian deathcamp 'The Riviera' or Iraq 'Burgeoning democracy'. Sad, sad dump, the only reason why it has not been buldozed are the bribes the owner must pay to the Adelaide City planners. Still, great time was had by all (3 of us).

After a while, K. proclaimed that she is going to see the 'TEA PARTY' and M. decided to try to find her car to drive home. So, Wulf finds himself torn between going home at the wee hour of 9PM or going to see a band at the uni... what a choice. A couple of vodkas and $60 later, the band it is... Woo hoo...
A respectable evening entertainment... shots to follow.

The band, A cross between PEARL JAM and hard rock/world music (C. Recons its a Fringe/Metal or some such) was quite entertaining. Though K. danced rather sineously and un-hard-rock like to its tunes. I do not think human, especially female body should move this way outside of a bedroom. Hrumph... (Oh yes, I am very offended for the benefit of all my female friends). Oh yes, the music, sorry, was distracted. Music rocked. Great live band.

And so, some grainy shots of 'THE TEA PARTY' @ THE ADELAIDE UNI.

Not much tea, but lots of party.

In fact, if there were any recreational chemicals in evidence, judging by the aromatic clouds of smoke, it was not the tea... unless it was the fragrant, green variety

MEDIA MIND KONTROL

Ah yes, we can not leave a journal entry without an a-political commentary.
Reading the Australian today at lunch, a fine right wing fascist rag, this picture of G.W.Bush;

Now, obviously this is merely a photoshopped version of the next image...

...G.W.Bush, defender of christian faith and the antichrists nemesis. I mean, HALO. How fucking subtle!

Some (the leftist marxist un-american traitors who shall burn in the clensing fires of the re-education camps when the purges come) would portray G.W. thusly

...but how about fair and balanced image, like this eh?

LINK OF THE DAY

Some un-american traitor has placed this collection of images of G.W.B. wearing all kinds of earpieces, wind up mechanisma and bullet proof vests. I place it on this page so that NSA can clense this filth off the cyberspace.
USA! USA! USA!

http://homepage.mac.com/c.shaw/BushBulges/PhotoAlbum15.html

TROJAN CHIXORZ

2004-11-24T01:29:00.001-08:00

A roomy of a friend (Ebony) is an actor student. She was acting in the production of Eurpiedes:Trojan Women at the Festival Theater. Deciding I need a bit of kulduhre, I asked for a discount ticket. I went to see the show by my lonesome, an unusual even in itself as I much prefer to go see it with one of the smart women friends of mine. I was pleasantly surprised when the stalls ticket proved to be slap bang in the best seats of the theater.

As an aside, I was cogitating, "Why the hell do I like going to these things?", if by one hour into the show, I start checking my watch when the damned thing is going to finish. Like a true man, after an hour of hearing the girls whining I was like; "OH STFU ALREADY! GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE GIRL!!!". So, here is my analysis, yes I do like the shows and I also like the kulduhral people. So me thinks. I pay for the ticket, that in turn pays for the paycheck of the kulduhrals so I can speak to them at parties and shit. Fiendish plan, no?

Ok first, a summary of the play, according to Wulf.

"Euripedes:Trojan Women" - By Wulfius.

Some bloke and a chick whine for a while Dead chixors litter the ground, only they are not dead coz they all wake up and look around as if they were like "WTF was that crappy tunes?"

Chixorz Wah wah wah... our town is burned, our men haxored, woe is us.

Soldiers Our dicks are bigger, we rulz u biatches.

Chixorz (Bitch and moan for half an hour how tough they have it)

Old Chixor Boo hoo, I am not the queen anymore.

Soldiers Prance around the stage with the sticks looking tough.

Chixor with a kid This is the last Trojan male left, look at him, how sad.

Soldiers Hey, wait! We missed one! Throw the fucker off the tower!

Chixor with a kid Boo hoo, I am soo fscked off with you. My life suxorz so much.

Chixorz (Bitch and moan for 15 minutes how tough they have it)

Helen Hey hey, its not my fault, men think with their dix. I am like, n00b and innocent like. Chill everyone.

Chixorz Die biatch die! Greeks came and were rude like coz you are a slag!

Helen No, no, listen, its not like that. Im like you.

King No, no, you are a slag like the chixorz sez. We kill ya now.

Helen Wait, wait! I give good head!

King Ok, put her on the ship then.

Chixorz (Pissed) we'r gonna be slaves now, gawd that suxorz bigtime

Chixorz (look even more pissed)

Curtain.

Curtain rises.

All the chixorz and soldiers and King dance happy greek song throwing confetti.
Wulf is like: WTF? How come they are so happy! They were whining just then FFS!

I guess the play is so depressing (sorry, MOVING) otherwise they need a fscking hollywood happy ending at the end. Kek.

APPZ

This little piccy is my industrial espionage shot. A chart of all the applications at my current contract (lots). Puts things into perspective. My old boss came from my current employer making a big ado how she was 'instrumental' looking after one of these tiny-itsy bits squares. From this perspective (looking after the performance of all of these), I am like. Yeah, big deal, have a cookie now and STFU.

INSRAELIS INVESTIGATE A SHOOTING OF A 13YO PALESTINIAN GIRL

It would be so easy to condemn this, instead, I will not comment at all, merely provide the transcript of the official recording of the communications from the trial. A trial by the way that ended with the charge of a 'misuse of a weapon'.

Source: THE AGE

6:48 The observation point identifies the girl.

Observation point: "It's a little girl. She's running defensively eastward...a girl of about 10, she's behind the embankment, scared to death."

Outpost gate guard: "They're charging at her right now."

6:52 Iman al-Hams is hit.

Observation post: "Receive, I think that one of the positions took her out."

Operations room: "What, she fell?"

Observation post: "She's not moving right now." The company commander hears, but doesn't stop.

Company commander: "I and another solder... are going in a little nearer, forward, to confirm the kill... receive a situation report - we fired and killed her... I also confirmed the kill. Over."
NOTE: 'Confirming the kill' is the Israeli army slang for firing rounds into a hit target. The commander fired a full magazine into the 13 year old girl.
Hence the charge of 'weapon misuse'.

The incident is over. The company commander "clarifies" procedure

Company commander: "This is commander, anything that is mobile, that moves in the zone, even if it's a three-year-old, needs to be killed. Over"

Oh yes, I see that the 'roadmap' to peace is going to solve ALL the problems between the Palestinians and Israelis.

HALF LIFE 2 REVIEW

2004-11-21T22:58:00.002-08:00

Finally, I found some time to play with my new immersive experience (not a game!). I spend most of the weekend playing through the long awaited HALF LIFE 2.HALF LIFE was a long standing benchmark in the first person perspective, single player genre, therefore HALF LIFE 2 (HL2) had a huge act to follow. Having played some way into the game, I can say with no bias, the game (err... entertainment software) absolutely rocks. Just as it gets boring, the story takes a twist.
It would be so easy to, like many others of its ilk to be a maze-rat-race, get the cheeze, kill the baddies. 4.5 out of 5 stars.

In one of the twists of the game a journey must be made in a MAD MAX like dune buggy through bug infested bad lands. Even though the vehicle does not have a windshield, it is very tempting to bugsplat these nasty alien suckers.
Scary customers, like many an apponent in the game.

What would a computer game be for all the sad geeks out there if there was no 'romantic interest', well fear not, a sexy, tall, aggressive beauty is in game. Also some chick pops up and talks to the sexy hardware.

Once in a while, by accident or by design, a scenic beauty appears. This could be a work of art, hanging on a wall

The game is 'revolutionary' because it allows a high degree of 'interaction' with the environment. It manifests in many way, here is just one example, a corridor full of zombies is about to say hello to a chainsaw blade I picked up with my gravity gun.

ANOTHER BUSHIS'M

As I am writing this log, a short soundbite from Bush on the radio.
I am astounded, the man is on the record for his skills with the Engrish linguage. But I sometimes wonder about his speech writers. For a gem like this to sneak into the speech it must mean that the contagion must be spreading.

This is what Bush said regarding Iraq (and how history will justify the war);

"Free societies don't attack each other".

I guess this explains why the US attacked the IRAQ then.

We can not fire the president but for the LOVE OF GOD, NSA!!!
PLEASE ADVISE CARL ROWE TO FIRE THAT DUMB SPEECHWRITER - HES EMBARRASING THE PREZ (a feat worthy of some sort of award).

FREAKY

Once again I am constantly amazed just how weird the real world is.
Came across this at work (something I need to cut down), a real world Chimeras!!!

"This is extremely rare; a case was discovered in 2002 when a woman needed a kidney transplant. Tissue typing revealed her to be a tetragametic individual, having developed from four gametes instead of two. Half her cells were genotypically different from the other half. During development, this woman and her twin fused into one embryo, and appeared to the world after birth to be one person. There are probably more people like this out there. I seem to remember a story where another woman surprisingly failed a maternity test for her own son, and was found to be chimeral." O_O

Who says God is a dry, humorless bloke with no imagination!

LINK OF THE DAY

http://www.disinfopedia.org/wiki.phtml?title=Disinfopedia

GRAPHIC AND THE ART OF LIFE.

2004-11-18T01:58:00.000-08:00

http://fallujapictures.blogspot.com/

The scary thing is that most of these images are already censored for TV. Confronting though these are, still these are much less disturbing than most of the war pictures.

The world must know what war is more than 'precision strikes' targetting 'enemy compounds' with minimal 'coalition' 'casualties'. Blurry videos from a distance of the heroic multibillion dollar giant swatting the inhuman fanatics who have no honor, courage nor purpose. Annoyingly long 15 second sanitized video before the really important messages like game results or scandalous behaviour of an idol.

Each casualty has a name, a father, mother and other family members.
They had loves, dreams, aspirations, favourite place, friends.
A human sacrafice on the altar of 'War on Terror' to making us safer.

But we must keep telling ourselves that we are safer and Haliburton shareholders happier. Otherwise, what else would justify such attrocities?

Pass the link around.

INTENSE

Since, C. thinks I have an 'intense' look about me, I have got to fight this perception, so in the vein of being less intense in this post....
Cheap link to a satire site because I am too slack atm to write something myself

HALF LIFE 4/5

The long awaited Half-Life 2 is out (yesterday), finally. Naturally I have bought it and in line with my current stroke of ever increasing good luck and fortune, the game fails to install. Disk No.4 fails with an error after about 30 minutes.
I am sure this is all a Republican/Haliburton consipiracy to make my life slightly inconvinient.

A NEW WEAPON/SURVIVAL TOOL

Walked into a book store the other day, naturally, not looking for a book. Those things make you think funny and turn into a hippie. Many a time I just walk in and look at the pictures in the womens health and travel (africa, photography, tribes, pre-conversion to christianity). But this time, as if drawn by a collapsing red dwarf (Egor, heavy drinker, one leg shorter than the other) I was guided to new releases. A bricksized book, new in a series by an author I had been know to like. Last thing he wrote was 'Nights Dawn' trilogy which though I do not admit to having read it (thus avoiding being marked as seditionary, terrorist, leftie liberal lunatic) I have been told though that it was very good SC-FI.
Still I claim to have purchased the book in self defence. At over 1000 pages it can be used to brain an intruder or cook supper when the nooklear winter comes.

TAKE ME TO U R SPACESHIP

Having caught up with my dear friend T. for brekkie in town, some hilarity ensued.
T. has gone to Sydney recently and I have asked her to track down the BURAN space shuttle allegedly on exhibition at the Darling harbour. Poor T. was seen walking the shore asking people pitifuly 'CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE THE SPACESHIP IS?'. Until some kindhearted native told her; 'Dear, there is no SPACESHIP here'. Lol.
Well, it sounds funnier when T. tells it.

EYE CANDY

2004-11-15T04:47:00.000-08:00

Welcome Ladies and Germs to a visual editon of Wulfs Pawprints.
In todays episode a mixture of photonic titilation to make you want look out onto the world from Wulfs eyeballs but since this privilidge is reserved for me until such time when I get 40/20 cybernetic implants or bequeith my eyeballs as transplants (whichever comes firsts), the eyeview of my camera must do.

Tonight I had gone to see Bette Middler perform. Pay careful attention, not Betty Midler, but her local (Australian) impersonator, Bette Middler.
I've seen the show with N. who is a great fan of the original and she had a lot of good things to say about the copy cat. Having noted that the copy cat had original classical opera training, I am betting that she was at least as good if not better singing the classics. Coincidentally, the performance was done as part of the Adelaide 'Feast' a Gay and Lesbian festival. At this point let me state that I went for the performance not to perform, though I must say, I felt a bit strange when some guys looked at me funny. With a voice one octave lower and looking very hetero I enjoyed the show to no end. Standing ovation, Bravo.

Saturday, lunch with my old friend M. Poor M. has a dillema, she has two blokes, one who buys her expensive electonics and furniture and whom she does not love (as much), and one whom she loves but he does not love her back (as much). Bah, if it was me, I'd go with the electronics. Call me a cheap whore. On the wall of the caffee a picture that had caught my attention, an old bloke in a swiming suit, lot of character and very real.

Sunday, lunch with C. Gave me an interesting book to read (review to follow) and a self published SC-FI from her friend in Canada. It is likely that C. will read this (and having shared her very personal blogg with me, she may well do so) *waves*.
I am blessed with meeting people who stretch my worldview, C. is one of those people. Let's see how long I can last before C. puts me to the sword.

Going to lunch, I saw this strange vehicle. A Nissan Exa with a Japanese boot variant. The roof and the boot can be taken off, and the boot replaced with a larger module, thus turning a 'sporty' (using the word losely) car into a wagon.

To conclude, this photo has arrived in my in-box a while ago, but its so emphatically manly that it deservers re-posting. I guess this is a reason why there are slightly more males born than females, to makeup for the natural attrition of the ones without the gene of consequence. There is only one more thing that this guy could be doing which is more st00pid, welding a gas tank.

SPRING CLEANING

2004-11-11T07:14:00.000-08:00

It is a spring somewhere in the world. A spring of a state of mind, a new beginning. Decided to clean in the under the stairs storage, you know, the area where one stores all the really important bits of ones life we need to keep forever.
I decided to throw a lot of this stuff out, there is no reason to depraciate the market in WULF personal papers when I finally become famous (notorious?).

Some of the stuff I had found:

Old computer magazines (Late 80's)

Designs of old RPG modules and campaigns

My very first driving licence

Photos of my pre-x long time GF's Letitia and Deborah (sigh).

My 1993 Internet bill, so old it comes with a MICROFISH copy (no, really)

Old sketches and doodles

My college project design manuals (oh it was hard to throw them out)

Old job applications (I wanted to do WHAT?)

In a way, its liberating, throwing my past away. A part of me feels sad for what has been and gone, things I should have done better. Another part of me knows, that the only thing that is constant in the universe is change and when I am gone, all that will remain of me are not pieces of papers but ideas in peoples heads.

FALUJA FALLS

Am I the only person on the planet who believes that bombing residential neighbourhoods with 500pound (big) bombs is a wrong way to etablish a democracy? I really, really wish some of these so called politicians were to watch "STAR WARS" (!). As princes Leia says "Lord Vader, the tighter you squeeze your hand, the more systems are going to slip through your fingers".

Call me a mad, unrealistic libertarian, but if I was a MODERATE Iraqi and my innocent (yes there are innocent people living in Iraq) friends, family and neigbours were blown to bits, I would not necesserily cheer for the liberating forces as hard as I used to. But thats just me, a poor ignorant ethnic without any shares in Halliburton and General Electric and whatever other company is making a killing on this war at the expense of the US (and Australian) taxpayer.

Still, if one is to believe the (censored) news reports, Feluja is held hostage by a lot of evil, terrorist buildings since glaring menacingly at the most powerful army on the planet, it is all that our fragile western minds can bear to be shown being shot to bits. One distasteful scene was show, slipping past the army censors. A US soldier shouts, "There are wounded enemy in the alley". Gunfire. "Clear" they announce. I do not know what is more distressing, seeing our glorious troops shoot wounded in violation of the Geneva convention (ie: a war crime) or the censor thinking nothing of letting it be shown (having grown so callous).
I for one, welcome our new ruthless overlords.

Excuse me, I need to take a shower now.

UH OH...

2004-11-02T19:04:00.000-08:00

I am getting worried, with the polling closed in the eastern states and results still being counted Bush has 52% of the vote and Kerry 47% of the vote. With Ohio the decisive state, looking leaning towards Bush, the result appears set. It looks like we are heading for 4 more years of despair and desolation.

It may well be that the owner of the Electronic voting machines company is living up to his promise .
Alternatively, the old adage about never overestimating the intelligence of the people is once again holding true.

Whatever the reason, if Bush wins, I calculate at least 200,000 innocent people are going to die as a direct result in the next 4 years. :(

GOOD GUY WINS.

2004-11-02T17:02:00.000-08:00

Early poll indications show a Kerry victory.

Though this can be debated the choice is clear.
The ignorant, fools and the rich favour Bush. The rest of the planet favours Kerry.
Baring a last minute poll shenanigans, it looks like the balance of good and evil has been restored :)

Like most, initially I was sceptical. Given the US media propaganda calling the election 'too close to call' (meaning Bush is so far behind, we can't really say much) and the controversy surrounding the voting machines I thought Bush would win. Luckily, it seems that thankfuly I have underestimated the intelligence of the American people.
In the last few days I have seen the thinking Rebublican conservatives publish articles stating that Bush is bad for the country. It would seem that the American public agrees.

Record poll turnout is a sign, that united, the people, will never be defeated :)

A GOOD OMEN.

2004-10-03T22:27:00.000-07:00

I've resolved to update the blog as soon as is practicable, otherwise I tend not to do it in time and some good entiries are lost to the few lost souls who stumble onto my blog. IT IS NOT A DIARY GODDAMIT!!! IT IS A BLOG!... Now with the technical aspects out of the way...

Went walking with Tania at some ungodly time (930AM on a Sunday). Or more to the point, Tania was walking whilst I was doing a very good impersonation of a stumbling idiot. Roller blades were not designed for a 5km/h pace. Especially on the crappy pavements of Adelaide. Although with Tania it was more like 8km/h, keeping a good pace. Very pleasant time was had by me, great atmosphere, both literal and methaphorical. Went for a rollelblade run afterwards, clocking up 27km for the day. During the walk, came across a poisonous brown snake. Almost run it over.
It would have been unpleasant for us both no doubt. This is about 1km away from the CBD.

Tania immediately interpreted it as a 'bad omen'. Hmm... worrisome. Though snakes have been both a good and bad omen, it is an interesting insight into Tania's head [waves] :)

Other noteworthy events include me making soup... edible soup.
Bah, laugh all you can! Alchemy of the food is just one of the aspects of this fine ancient art that I am presently learning ;)

Also, I can put the dogfood cans away for another few months, my boss having extended my contract till Xmas and making noises of more work. Worse yet, I have started eyeing the bank finance for my current (realistic) dream car a BMW Z3.

Yes I know its a performance dog, but it looks very nice and is probably slightly better than my current 'sporty' car. It has fine classy chassis and thats good enough for me.

REQUIEM TO AN EGO.

2004-09-30T04:16:00.000-07:00

This is a little piece I have written to make a friends day slightly more bearable.

REQUIEM TO AN EGO.

There was a man inside my head.
A tragic thought, no doubt it is said.
Squeak not, nor shed a tear
for this mans confined sphere
A though, a glimmer, a club, a stick
The man, has been given a flick
The ego is ergo is virgo is nix
Oh, damit, good spirits, cease these word trix.

I woke this morning with a migrane and a rattle
Lo and behold, I think, I've lost my mantle.
No longer cogito, a kind o'ergo and nary a sum.
Yeay! 'tis a reason to start a day glum.
Yet, though ego no more pedals my bike
Still the gears grind, rotate, ratchet and crank.
The soul still flutters and wafts and transcends
Sufficiently, no doubt, to some deity to make amends.
Such as it is, and such as it was,
The ego remembered fondly, is but a cognitive faux pas.

I am instead and but and no more
a bowl of neutrinos, gluons and neurons at core.
Though this notion gives me a pause, a shiver and squint
I care not at all, for in your eye I still may rise a glint.

Wulfius Khan
Adelaide Sep 04

ERECTIONS - PICK ONE DICK.

2004-09-16T22:57:00.000-07:00

Retropost.

With the elections coming up in the US and Australia, I felt a need to wrestle some photons into a shape vaguely reasembling a work of art (using the term very losely).
Technically this is very poor but its the idea that counts;

Full size link; http://www.deviantart.com/view/10658169/

We get to choose between the lesser of the two evils. Not much of a choice in either case. It almost makes one yearn for the good old days of totalitarian leaders. Leaders like Uncle Stalin and Ghengis-Khan. Not that there is much difference between some of their policies.

Still, at least we can whine about it for a while in (relative) safety... as long as not too many of the sheeple listen to us... and as long as we are safely stowed away in the 'Free speech zones'.

ERECTIONS - You get to pick one, just the one dick.

HOCUS PHUCKUS!

2004-08-15T16:08:00.000-07:00

It is one of the pinciples of the 'magical' arts to mask ones actions with an exaggerated gesture, something to draw away the observers attention from the performance. In the grandest tradition of the romans who would give 'bread and games' to the populus of the empire to keep them pacified, so do the olympic games, noble endevour though they are are used by our dull-y e(l)rect(ed) leaders.

And so, we have a cursory list of the misdeeds ignored by the apathetic public with the Games an expensive mirror act.

1) An offensive by the US forces on the holy city of Najaf.
So much for the 'peace for the games'. To be fair though, the local administration called for the cease fire when the US has not managed to secure a decisive victory in time for the games.

2) 'The US-Australia Free trade agreement'. More correctly called 'The US-Australia we are going to roger you so hard you'll be walking bowlegged for the rest of your life' agreement. Was listening to parliament, a reasonable amendment was being proposed 'To impose tarrifs if a product to be imported would mean the loss of Australian jobs'. Simple and to the point. Both Labour and Liberals voted against.
In essence, and this was conceeded by a number of speakers, Australian sovereignty is being traded to the US Corporations. No, not Government, unelected corporations. The same people who run ELORN, WORLDCOM and other corporate disasters will now have a direct say in our economic and social policy. Please tell me its for our own good somebody. Convincingly this time.

3)180 refugees massacred in a UN refugee camp in Burundi. Shades of Bosnia and Rwanda all over again.

The wise ones say it is not important WHAT we are told or not, but HOW we are told what we are being told. As always, look alive, look around make up your own mind.

I close with a very special message; "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.". The world, would be a much better place globally and personally, if we only tried to live up to it.

DJ OLYMPICS!

2004-08-11T03:19:00.000-07:00

Tiësto one of my favourite DJs is to perform at the Opening Ceremony of the Olympic Games in Athens, Greece.
Tiësto, twice voted the #1 DJ in the world by DJ Magazine, will make Olympic history on Friday, August 13, when he becomes the first DJ ever to perform in an Opening Ceremony of the Olympic Games.

This is a very cool development. This has never happened before.

I think that it was Abraham Lincoln that has said;
"The philosophy of the classroom of this generation becomes the government policy of the next generation".
Likewise, it finally looks like Techno is making it into the mainstream. What does future hold? Techno being played in supermarkets and lifts? Cheezy TV commercials with raw club trax? One more reason to watch the opening ceremony. The other one being Al Quada strike, not (knock on wood).

CLUBLAND

2004-08-08T17:09:00.000-07:00

Since I havent been clubbing in a 5-6 weeks decided it was a time to get another endorphin hit. Decided to hit Traffic then if its slow (as it can be from time to time) Heaven. Made it to town quarter to midnight, just in time to take advantage of the Fresh FM advertised 'Free entry to Traffic before midnight'. Yes, funny though the nice people on the door looked surprised at this revelation. Were I a cynical bastard I would say that either;

a) The management uses false advertising to lure foolish youth inside.
b) The people on the door skim the entry fees before midnight.

The DJ was particularly stilted so I went to Heaven around 1AM, shame since I actually came to see a female DJ that sounded cool on Fresh FM who was on later.

At the side entrance to Heaven I was accosted by a barbie clone floozy exercising her small clitoris syndrome. Apparently she informed me I was dressed 'too casual'.
Hrumph. I would not be commenting about other peoples fashion sense wearing faux fur NY whore chique and flouro makeup like she was. Though I conceed that cargo pants are no longer in fashion, they are damn practical for clubbing, lose and you can put a watter bottle into the leg pocket. Although I am sure she was trying to subtly remind me that at my advanced age of thirtysomething at this hour of the morning I should be at home, slowly percolating into my colostomy bag and counting hours to my imminent and timely departure from the land of the living. Not, heaven forbid (!) clubbing and annoying the younglings with the untimely reminder of how they are going to look like in mere 10-15 years time.
Applying Wulfs life rule No.381 "Never argue with people of lower intellect than yours in position of authority.".
I have thanked her for her dilligent execution of her duty and entered the club via the main entrance.

Wendy was right, the newly refurbished Heaven electronics looks cool.

Lasers and new lighting system. Packed floor though it was cold. Great atmosphere though as usual most of the crowd is mainly in the sperm/egg/zygote age group.

I have taken some videos of the action with my phone, but I should have turned the sound down a bit, its distorting the bejesus out of the tracks. Took one of Wendys fav Van Helden 'Hear my name'. Somehow a still shot does not do a justice to the atmosphere, even a video is a poor sub.

And of course, what would Heaven be like without the heavenly dancers.

During the night I was approached by keen youth eager to purchase recreational chemicals. A resounding testimony for legalising certain types of recreational chemicals. Clubbers will eat anything, best that there is some quality control, least they buy Gradmas kidney medicines.
More so that no more than couple months ago 7 people went down with averse reaction at Heaven.

Met up with Wendy and her funky friends at Traffic past 3AM (my stamp almost rubbed off), they were pleasantly chilling and the DJ has improved enormously. Really enjoyed seeing Wendy in her natural element. Danced for a while after Wendy and Co went, got home at 5AM. Great night. Gotta do it more often.

Personal bitch about the price of Smirnoff's Blacks, $8.50 a bottle? WTF?

NOT QUITE THE BURNING BUSH

2004-08-06T22:00:00.000-07:00

Continuing the theme of disasters of bibilical proportions.
Going to work Thursday, I have seen a sight that really gave a reason for the manufacturers of mobile phone to install cameras into the things (0_o).

A pine tree was smoking. As I say, not quite the burning bush, but if one were so inclined, surely a sign from the spirits, once again, were one so inclined :)

Spooky! Water vapours heating and exiting the wood or a sign from the gods. We report you decide HEATHEN!

In a totaly unrelated incident, I am certain, my car got broken into at (wait for it) a multi storey car park. Ever the one to look for the positive in a negative, my thanks go to Mr.Thief who was kind enough to steal only my cigarette lighter and smokes and my extra set of keys. Also as far as I can tell, the car was not damaged, so thanks Mr.Thief. Thanks also go to the useless tard highschool dropout 'guarding' the carpark. Still it was my fault, had a couple of shopping bags and a newspaper inside the car, thief probably thought it was his lucky day.

In addition, same night the uncanny omen was witnessed I have made a downright hash talking to a dear friend of mine online. Superstition is a great tool to rationalise the universe since one does not have to take responsibility for ones actions.

DOOM DOOM DOOM

2004-08-03T01:46:00.000-07:00

DOOM 1

To wit. GAH! Triple doom has descended upon us. We are surely lost. First, Wendy has caused me to take bus to work, the second time in the last 3 weeks. What a day have I picked for it. The sky has opened and a flood of apocalyptic proportions has descended on the city.

Witness the Torrens river in the morning and the same day in the evening. If this rain keeps up a flood will wash away the park.

I have dug up my supplies left over from the Y2K scare. Emptied the water cans and the 200Gallon drums full of spare petrol. Lashed together a raft and parked it on my roof. When the apocalypse comes I will be able to float down to the ocean and maybe set up a colony to repopulate the earth somewhere in the pacific. Looking for a female netball team to take with me. Whats this you are saying? "Glug glug?" I can not hear you. Muahahaha...

DOOM 2

My amazing luck with women is holding up. Can not complain in the least. I keep meeting these incredible women who steal my heart then proceed to explain why I am unworthy of their affection. I am growing disillusioned. Perhaps I have set the bar too high. I am considering lowering my standards quite a bit.
Such as, dating outside my species. I recon a computer literate she-monkey, shaven or a particularly intelligent seasponge may find me worthy of a relationship. Well, I am being an optimist. I should probably get them drunk first :)

DOOM 3

Yes, DOOM3, the long awaited sequel to DOOM1&2 is finally out. Remember DOOM has set the bar for the modern scary computer gaming. Who can forget the first time they entered a room full of deamons, their roar drowning the blast of your patently inadequate shottie. Anyone who has heard the booming steps of the Cyberdeamon will remember for ever how scary the experience was.

Well, DOOM3 is bringing all of that adrenaline and fright back to your computer screen. I do not exaggerate when I say this. It is one scary game. Will find out tomorrow when I get my copy, but for now I shall leave you with this dude, on his way to the dermatologist to treat his skin condition no doubt.

POWER

2004-07-31T23:05:00.000-07:00

The topic for today seems to be power. NFI how this came into my head, but there must be some sort of confluence.

Lets start with this a $3000 power cable.
Pure copper, gold plated pins. For the person who has absolutely everything.
Only 250 ever made.

On the other hand, there is the power within.
This is perhaps more important. I do not mean the power that the mad men with the finger on the button of armageddon abuse like a potent drug. I talk about the power that glows within each and every one of us. The power that drives us forward, the power than makes us change the world for the better. I have received some very wise council from a very wise woman recently. This advice has made me look at the world in a new light. I can almost feel the switches within my brain rewiring. A good day in my book.

MY BiG DEAL.

2004-07-29T02:54:00.000-07:00

Right. Pay attention. I got a new job. Big project. Here is my project plan. This is highly classified information, so you will have to undergo automagic brainwipe when you leave this site. You agreed to the punitive non-disclosure agreement when you clicked the link. Assuming of course anyone VISITS this site.

Project managment explained.

1) Pretend you are the subject expert. Use long words. Dismiss anyone asking questions as an ignorant peasant.
2) Write a lot of important looking paperwork. No one reads it anyway.
3) Meet with some people. You really should make some things happen. Does not matter what. Create chaos. Blame the unions.
4) Keep shifting appointments, postponing reports. You are too busy to do anything. Take long lunches with the stake-holders (it is important to spread the blame).
5) This is where you hide the bodies and burn the evidence. Alternatively if by some incredible twists of fate, things have worked out, you claim credit.

My contract is up in October. As just evidenced, I am fscking amazing Project Manager. Hire me. I do laundry too.

HUMAN RIGHTS IN AUSTRALIA (Lack thereof).

2004-07-28T05:32:00.001-07:00

Believe it or not. Australia is the only county wiht Common law that does not have any legal codex of human rights. One can only speculate that this is because of its origins as a penal colony. Hard to expect one big prison be steeped in the tradition of human rights.

I attended a meeting tonight, intending to change it. An alliance is forming with the intention of building enough movement to push a bill of rights throught the South Australian legislature. It was good to see a 'large' turnout. In today's world of apathy 200 people is a 'large' turnout. I do hope that this comes through THIS time. It is downright embarrasing the way we treat native population and refugees. Then our so called 'leaders' have the temerity to preach to other nations about human rights.

I took a couple of shots with my phonecam. This one is the most important. Courageous citizenry improving the future of their nation. RESPECT!

RUMINATIONS ON LOVE
Original thought{tm} for today. Love blah blah blah. Like anything else, it has intensity. Affection, like a little, trully madly deeply. Imagine a slider control, like a volume on a CD player. What happens when you hit 10. Max. The 11 on the scale of 10.

I can not speak from experience though I have loved and loved deeply, I have never reached this limit. Does one break through and hit Hyperlove? Alternatively, simply bounce off like from a flexible barrier and slide back into affection, then apathy, then contempt? I would like to find out one day. Experience what happens when you love someone so much that you can not love them any more than you do.
Hmmm... there are somethings worth looking forward to. No?

Fehrenheit 9/11

2004-07-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

Well, finally had gone to see it. I have read the reviews. I would agree with the opinion of one of the reviewers. This movie is going to preach to the converted. The warmongering lunatics and the zomboids parroting the slogans will likely be not swayed by this movie.

Moore is getting better with each movie he makes. The accusation of propaganda made by the lunatic right is probably true. But if what Moore makes is propaganda, what does one call the constant, sanitized, clean image of war thats presented in the media. Surely we do not live in a totalitarian regime that would have to stoop the the need for PROPAGANDA in lieu of the news! Surely not.

We report, you decide. Indeed.

I do recommend the movie. Especially if you do not have the time to be concerned by politics. In a short time, you will be shown exactly what is so wrong with the war in Iraq and the loss of freedom experienced since 9/11.

Wulf rates this movie 3/5.

GLENS&JOs PARTY.

2004-07-24T00:00:00.002-07:00

I was privilidged to be invited to my friends Glen and Jo's, engagement party. After a protracted romance, and I do mean protracted Glen has asked Jo, the love of his life to marry. This was the official party, in the Historian hotel in town. Open bar, baloons everywhere. Great company, close friends and people I have not seen for geological epochs. Great evening.

Glen&Jo, Sorry Jo, LOOK AT THE BIRDY NEXT TIME FFS!

Half way through, my phone battery died. Probably because of all the crappy videos I took of the merriment. Gotta buy a spare, especially since the battery for my phone is so tiny. I was only able to take a few photos of any reasonable quality.

Sam, the life of the party, just one of the funky guests there. She's going to be a great standup comedianne :)

We got thrown out around 1AM after we drunk all the alcohol in the pub and some guests *COUGH*NARA*COUGH* started to suck helium out of baloons. Went to Zhivagos. A night club which was notable for Mal the Linux guru moonlighting on the door as a sekuritate guard. It was fun jumping the queue. The crowd was mostly spawnlets with a few eligable females but the music was absolutely attrocious. Some sort of canned fusion funk that was barely dancable. However the company was excellent, if rather pissed by this late in the night.
At some time around 4AM I have found myself in a bet with Glen and Kent that I will go mountain biking tomorrow. $50 and my honour was riding on it, so Sunday I called Kent around 2PM. He sounded like he was still in bed, cancelled.

GLEN YOU OWE ME $50 :)

I had a great time, Glen&Jo always throw great parties and this was no exception, especially given the occasion. May they live long in marital bliss.

Finer things in life.

2004-07-23T00:00:00.000-07:00

It appears that I have very expensive tastes. As I was browsing through an arcade in town a statuette had caught my eye. I am not a collector though I am an afficionado of the female form. This is how I explain why I liked this statuette. "Hey, its cool", I thought. A$300 No problem, I will buy it. When I enquired about the price I was told...

A$1300.

Remember that classic Eddie Murphy movie "Beverley hills cop", when the protagonist enquires about the price of a hotel room and is told some crazy sum? Well, that was me, doing my best impression of looking stunned whilst not looking stunned. It appears that the statues are manufactured by blind hobbits somewhere in a dungeon in italy from a clay that is scraped from the inside of the religious statues.
Or something like that to justify the price. However the manufacturing is trully exquisite, the paintjob reflects shading and the figures even have skintone. If I was comfortably wealthy, I would buy it without hesitation. Naturally the figurine was gone a few days later. Shame, I was considering hawking one of my kidneys to pay for it.

I console myself with the fact that I have very good aesthetic sense :)